sounds like you got them on the right track BUT

what you're saying is the female is exhibiting male behavior, are you sure she's a she?
My boy Don will do the head swing/bob(initially) and climb on Jessie' back and reach over and stick his face in her shell. He'll also love nip her arms and facing her he'll stick his face in her shell.
He'll grovel if she responds to his advances, he acts like he's afraidof her and backs off and scrapes the bottom with his hands. She will aslo reply with swinging and bobbing. I dunno if you can really call it bobbing because it's rapid. They do it while swinging their head. Weird. Their behaviors are only in water too.

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