Long day of packing for my move, I finally call it a day, throw myself on my bed and stretch out in the pale blue light...a light that reveals a dark splotch on the white ceiling directly over my head.

I know what it is before turning on the lights.

Dashing into the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel, wetting it (makes it harder for crawlies to escape) and bounding back into my room. I turn on the lights and my foe is still there: a house centipede the size of Magnum P.I.'s mustache.

I climb on the bed, recoil a bit from the fiend, then--in a move bound to make me an outcast on this board--I felled the beast with one swift mush from my wad of moist Brawny (that's the paper towel, not some weird euphemism).

If it redeems me at all, I did look up to see what it was I mished. "Scutigera coleoptrata." I salute my foe, and I'll be seeing him in my dreams for the next week.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myelf to the board.

Hi, board!

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