I don't know. It may be selfish of you to try if there is a chance you would have to find her another home. If your friend is able to place her in a loving home that would be her home for the rest of her life it may be best. I know you would love her dearly and do anything for her. But do you want to risk an upset in your marriage for a cat that could find another loving home?
There are hundreds of cats out there needing home. Maybe this one just isn't the right one for you. I don't want to sound mean. It isn't fair to your husband or the cat. Both you and your husband need to agree on this. You should not bring the cat into your home with out telling your husband it can't be declawed.
Glows to you and the kitty.
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Jaime owned by
Mya the dog
and the cats:Crash, Moxie, Gabby and sometimes Tucker

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