I don't think there is a whole lot you could do to change the behavior. You might see if your husband would work to desensitize the cat. Have him lie on the bed and jump up suddenly with no noise. Then have him do it several times saying ow softly then gradually louder until it becomes a scream. Watch her and when she seems to be startled, but not alarmed, have him go no louder for that session. Repeat this on a daily basis and hopefully she'll build up tolerance.
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Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

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