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Please help!! Re: introducing two cats to new cat!!

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Posted by: oranger at Thu Jun 30 22:52:17 2005  [ Report Abuse ] [ Email Message ] [ Show All Posts by oranger ]  
   

I really hope someone can offer some substantial advice. My wife & I are at the end our rope.

We have two wonderful male cats who get along quite well. One is five years old & the other is three years old. Both are sweet-natured, neutered & indoor-only domestic shorthairs. Both have their claws. The five year old is about 12 pounds & the three year old is a pound or two more. We recently bought a house. The seller had a beautiful black shorthaired male who is seven years old & neutered. He is also sweet-natured. He weighs around 15 pounds & is thinner than the other two, but much bigger-boned with huge teeth. He is declawed on his front paws. The seller also had two other cats & said that the black cat needed more affection than she could muster, so she offered him to us. My wife & I discussed it, calling it a "no-brainer," & adopted him the next day.

At first, things were going according to plan. There was a bit of the expected hissing & fat tails, but only after we started slowly, as per the classic instructions: we allowed them to sniff each other under the door, gave them their safe places, switched safe places, slowly opened the door & introduced them, for short, supervised periods, etc. We even used two Feliway plug-ins as well as Feliway spray, all acording to instructions.

Initially, the seven year old black cat who came with the house did not get along with our three year old, but that passed in "normal" fashion. After four or five days, they got along pretty well & now get along fine. But that's when the real trouble began. Our other pre-existing cat, the five year old, had been relatively indifferent to the tension between the other two. But once those two began to accept each other, the five year old & our new addition, the seven year old, instantly took to despising each other. And their hissing & fat tails degenerated into horrible fights, in the wink of an eye, when everything ostensibly seemed fine. After a week of trying to get them used to each other, in varying periods of supervised contact, we tried to reintroduce them. But that didn't work. If anything, the situation has worsened to the point where we don't know what to do.

The seven year old is the eldest & it was his house first. And it is all too clear that he considers himself the dominant cat. Our three year old accepted that fact & they now get along. We thought our five year old had, too. He even laid on his back, exposing his tummy to the seven year old, but the seven year old still stalks him, blocks doorways, & generally tries to control him. The only time they get along is when they're both dog-tired. Sometimes they sleep on our bed at the same time, but on opposite sides & only during the day.

We feel horrible when we recognize that the seven year old's previous owner essentially "abandoned" him, by giving him to us, & took his original fellow cats with her. He then had to deal with us moving into his domain with our own two cats. Needless to say, it's been a stressful time for all involved. But the seven year old was so sweet-natured & affectionate , we assumed that the three would eventually adapt to each other. He's still sweet & affectionate, but only on his terms, when he's alone with my wife or me. It seems at this point that the seven year old is being stubborn & unwilling to accept the five year old. And our poor three year old has attempted to stand between them &, essentially, play peacemaker.

Now the worst part. In taking the seven year old to our vet today, he reacted viciously & violently. Even though he's been an indoor-only cat since he was a kitten , he exhibited beyond-feral behavior, growling like a wildcat for over five minutes & going so far as to bite a deep gash in our poor vet's hand! She said she's rarely seen such behavior in an indoor neutered cat. This, after we'd just explained to her that we were worried about the seven year old's dominant behavior & seeming unwillingness to change. After discussing it further, the vet recommended that we place him in a home where he can be the sole cat. She said that dominant cats such as he are, in actuality, very insecure, & need constant attention. She said that often times a cat such as this simply cannot adapt to other cats,. In all I've read & heard, I've learned that it can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months for the dust to really settle in a new transition, but it's already been over a month & my wife & I are on the fence about what to do. And of course, we've already started to bond with the seven year old, so we feel our hearts breaking. At the same time, we feel terrible for all three cats & their respective positions & we want to do the right thing, whatever that is.

Sorry for the long post. I was trying to be specific so as to avoid long multiple threads with specific questions. The bottom line is - do we give it more time & hope for the best, all the while fearing that the seven year old might harm our five year old? Or do we place the seven year old in a new home now, where he can thrive as the sole cat in the spotlight?

Thanks for your time & any advice/info you may have!


   

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