I understand that you must be frustrated, however it sounds like the female cat is holding her own, and it would probably agravate the problem if you tried to interfer. It is probably more a domanance issue than anything else. Neutering will help curb this behavior, but may not totally eliminate it.

Be sure that the male NEVER has access to the kittens after they are born. Intact males instinctively kill kittens, especially if they are not the father. Even if you get him neutered before the kittens are born he will still have male hormones floating around in his system for a while.
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Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

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