Yes, you can visit the breeders before the cats are old enough to sell. it's a good idea to see how they are raised. if it seems clean, etc...
i went to my breeders to see a litter of kittens not old enough yet. i was going to pick one i liked, and then come back in a few weeks for her, but Rigby diverted me and he was old enough, so we left together!

as for the breeder not recommended, hmmm, i would be a little suspicious. can you ask the other one why? that would concern me. it could be a variety of reasons... most breeders i've met in the tonk business know each other and are pretty friendly. they tend to share their queens/studs to prevent any inner-breeding health problems.
the distance may not have to be a factor. my breeder isn't exactly close to me - almost 3 hours away. but i was able to call and email her when questions. and i also have a wonderful vet nearby me.

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