I am lucky in one aspect to not live close to family. I've faced this very same challenge. My biggest problems were that my Step-Mom (here she is again in a posting) has given me some of the most out-there gifts you can imagine. Here are recent examples:

1. A six piece luggage set that came in a box the size of a phone book (literally). It was made out of a very thin nylon fabric. Full set, mind you -- folded into a small box. From English Leather (must have came with a cologne someone gave my Dad). Major re-gifting... It all has an English Leather cologne stamp on the side of it, LOL...

2. Hard-bound book entitled, "Duct Tape, Milk Jugs, and Vinegar, 1001 uses for household items..." Interesting book, no complaints, but it was my ONLY gift that year... Did you know that if you break up colored soda bottles into small bits of glass and fill a baby food jar, you can give it as a paperweight? I am not going to give away any more secrets, you'll have to buy the book...

3. Dad got her a pair of 1/2 ct. diamond earring studs about four years ago, very good quality/clarity, very pretty (actually, he handed her the several hundred from a gambling trip and she bought them). I had admired them when I saw them. Fast forward to that Christmas. She calls me a month early. Says she wanted to get me a gift, but wanted to ensure I liked it before they spent the money...She was getting me diamond earrings like Dad go her. I about died -- Yes! I'd love them!!! WOOHOO!!! She went on to lecture me that I'd have to have them insured, etc... They were spending a lot of money on them... I promised I would... Hung up ecstatic... So, Christmas rolls around. I open the box and inside were tiny, tiny dark grey, cloudy diamonds. 1/16th of a ct., to be precise. If I was not not careful, they'd pull thru my ears backwards, they weren't much bigger than the hole in my ear... Found out from my Mom that my Step-Mom bragged that she got them for $39 at a discount store. (Mom and Step-Mom get along somewhat due to sharing grandkid stories, etc...) If she had just sent them without the huge build-up... What a let-down...

5. Two years ago, when I visited, she had a spinning container carousel that she showed me and asked what I thought (in a hinting way). I mentioned that I loved it for her, but carefully mentioned I didn't care for it for me. It was "something I thought about", but I didn't have any room for it (took up half a shelf) in my cabinets and if she were fishing for a gift item for me, please don't get me one. She also called a few months later and asked if I wanted a DVD player. I said, actually I was saving up for a DVD-VCR combo player and if they wanted to get me one, I'd love it, BUT PLEASE DON'T GET ME A DVD PLAYER, I WANTED A COMBO UNIT and would get one for myself if it didn't show up under the tree. So, as one would guess, that year I got a spinning container carousel (with four broken containers) and a DVD player...

4. Even when I was a size 5-6, I always preferred Medium sized clothes, and in later years, Large/XL sized, depending... I am also a red-head. The color pink is not for me -- I've always indicated I didn't like pink (hated pink on me). So, almost all the clothes she's ever gotten me are size small and pink...

5. In the 80s, all I wanted was a bottle of Obsession for Women. She refused to pay $20 (or whatever it was back then) on perfume and bought $20 in cheap trinket gifts. One year I again asked for it and she threw a fit at the cost of $20 for a bottle... I said, it is for ME, not YOU. About 10-15 years later, I eventually did get a bottle from her, years after I no longer cared for the scent...

6. Every year she complains bitterly about the cost of postage... Just got an e-mail that my birthday box is on the way and it cost her $12 to mail. On, and on, and on about it...

I always profusely thank her/my Dad (who is clueless) for whatever they get me and get them exactly what they want (spend a lot of money on them). Believe me, the one time I got her something she didn't like (butter boat) she let me KNOW.

But, back to your original question. I hold back a couple items in the event they ever visit me... But, they haven't. I've been in Maryland 15 years now and each year when I invite them, she always says, "There isn't anything on the East Coast we want to see/do..." NOTHING to do on the EAST COAST??? I always counter, "I don't come to Iowa because it is the mecca of civilization..." Instead, they go to Vegas each year...

Anyway, when I visit them in Iowa each year, I take one piece of the "luggage" for them to see (usually a small case I put travel items in) and have been known to wear my diamonds on visits... As to the small pink clothes, I did give them to a tiny blonde roommate while I was in the Air Force... She loved them -- I knew they'd never visit me overseas, so I was safe... She hasn't gotten me clothes for a while...

I tried to say, let's not exchange anymore and just send cards... They had started to get into the habit of sending me a check in a card... I said, if we are just passing money back and forth... She threw a fit as the only gifts they get are from me... And, I am very careful to get them nice gifts I know they'll love...

The latest genious move I made last year was to request restaurant gift certificates. I eat out on the weekends with my friends and thought that would be perfect. Just don't get me one for Olive Garden as OG isn't near me... I got a VISA gift card... When she called for my BD, she said, "I was going to get some of the gift cards you suggested on the list, but most of the places didn't open until 5PM and I was not going to be in town at that time of day!!! So, I got a VISA card..." Basically the same as sending cash...

My gifts have actually become a fan favorite and I have friends who can't wait to see what she sends... I no longer ask for anything specific, that has never worked for me, rather, I enjoy the surprise of the surprise much more than if it were actually anything I could use (aside from $ or a VISA card...)...

I did get a huge, and I mean HUGE, flame orange and gold glitter glass bowl from my elderly neighbor last year. She was so pleased with it as it went with my kitchen (I have sunflowers and sage green in it -- not a speck of flaming orange and glitter). So, I am very carful to put the bowl out from time to time on my counter for her to see and will continue to until she is no longer my neighbor... I put it up in a closet a good part of the year, as well... It will not accidentally break until well after she isn't my neighbor anymore...
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Tammy
Stanley and Pookey

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