I give pretty freely, but also smartly. Much smarter than the "Bank of Tammy" in my 20s, LOL...

My only brother: My Mom and Dad (divorced), and I helped him until we realized we weren't helping him by enabling him -- he needed to grow up and figure it out. We've not helped him financially for about 5 years now. He pretty much leaves us alone now and doesn't ask for money. He's probably still one paycheck from losing it all, not good managing money, but has a solid steady job.

My Mom: Since Mom fostered my brother's daughter Kylagh at a day old and ultimately adopted her when the birth mother changed her mind and walked away from her, I've been helping my barely above poverty level Mom and Step-father make ends meet the past 5 years. Adding Kylagh to the mix pushed them over the edge financially at some points. The amount was heavy at first, but the past few months they've managed without much help. However, he "retires" and both will be on Social Security as the only income in January. He must, he's become a crippled old man on this job and he must quit or he won't be around much longer. Mom is on Social Security now and is unable to work. She gets along well around the house and on grocery/errands, but can't be on her feet long stretches due to polio as a child. Kylagh starts school in August which will keep Mom off her feet more during the day.

I am single working a hateful job (stressful crisis management type job) because it pays more than I need as a single frugal woman and gives me health benefits. I live very thrifty planning ahead for their retirement and can free up money to help them long term as long as I survive this job...

Friends: Early on, I decided to not loan more than I was willing to just give someone as I might likely never see it again (couple people borrowed money and never paid back when I was younger). That amount is usually $200-$300 for friends not in my very tight circle of trust. There are a small handful of friends I'd loan more to (several hundred or a couple thousand), but I trust if they could they would pay me back -- and will eventually. They are also people I'd call if I were ever in a similar jam.
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Tammy and Pookey
(Stanley 8/91 - 8/07)

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