OK, OK ... so I took some liberties ... it got you here, didn't it?

ROANOKE TIMES (Virginia) 07 September 05 Vipers a great name for new team? I'll eat to that (Aaron McFarling)

To the 255,225 people who attended a Salem Avalanche game this season, I have one thing to say. Thanks.
You broke the franchise attendance record. You showed up in the first half when the team was bad, and you showed up later when the team was in a pennant race. And most importantly, you saved us from another one of those can-we-support-minor-league-sports-around-here columns.
Know what? We can. Under the right circumstances, with the right marketing, we can.
But summer's ending now. Schedules are getting busier. School's back in session, and family budgets are tightening.
Just in time for hockey season.
And that's always been the explanation when the hockey team struggles at the gate. Virginia Tech football is good, which attracts the entertainment dollar. Basketball is on television all the time. The kids have school in the morning.
That's true, but so what? Enough with the excuses: You've got to compete. If Burger King makes a dent in the market, does McDonald's throw up its hands in surrender? Of course not. Ronald just brings back the McRib for the 85th time, leaving you no choice but to return for that sweet, processed goodness.
That's what the new hockey owners must do: Battle. And to their credit, they're off to a good start.
I'm talking about the name: The Roanoke Valley Vipers. I like it. Rodney Grimmett of Boones Mill obviously likes it, too, because he came up with it. Winning that contest earned him two season tickets and a team jersey, which is the least they could do for this alliterative mastermind.
Four reasons why this name is great:
1. It's a welcome departure from the train names. Our railroad history is important, as every out-of-town reporter likes to remind us, but it's about time we veered off that track. The Steam collapsed. The Express failed. We were running out of hip-sounding tie-ins. Consider where we were headed:
Teenager A: You going to the Roanoke Whistle game tonight?
Teen B: Two words, bro -- Toot, toot.
Teen A: Nice. See you there.
2. It's plural. I can't stress this enough. I'm not sure why our sports culture has started this trend of singular nicknames, but it has to stop. All that does is lead to awkward sentences that, while grammatically correct, are about as annoying to read as they are to write.
The Roanoke Caboose, which has won five of its past six games, has moved itself to a game back of the division lead. If it wins tonight, it will be in a tie for first place.
Repeat: There should be no "it" in team.
3. Snakes are active. Imagine all the fun things they can do! They can "strike back for a victory." They can "slither to the top of the standings." They can "scale back the penalties." They can have a "cold-blooded response to their losing streak." And those are just the layups. Imagine when a maverick wordsmith such as Randy King starts draining the 30-footers.
An active nickname is the key to a good slogan. Example: What can an Avalanche do? Fall. Hence, the ill-conceived "Ride the Slide" marketing campaign of 2004, which was way more prophetic than the team had hoped.
But a good nickname doesn't guarantee a great slogan. On the Vipers' Web site (http://www.valleyvipershockey.com), the banner headline implores us to "CATCH THE FEVER." Umm, OK.
Might want to dig a little deeper there, guys.
4) The logo rocks. There's a news copy editor at this paper who, thanks to the relaxed dress code of the night shift, often wears his Roanoke Dazzle T-shirt to work. It is quite dreadful. Train tracks crossing over a basketball with a star on it? Huh? Hey, if you're going to cover that many themes, why not throw in a mountain and a mug shot of Nelson Harris, too?
But it's hard to blame whoever created the logo, because "Dazzle" is a pretty nebulous transitive verb/noun.
It's like that Simpsons episode where Milhouse's dad tries to draw "dignity" during a game of Pictionary. Tough assignment.
But snake logos can be vibrant, and the Vipers nailed it. Dark purple with angry eyes, huge fangs, scaly body wrapped around the letters. Definitely makes me want to go to a game.
Just as soon as I finish this McRib.

Vipers a great name for new team?

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