My advice:
First off, I would quit holding her behind her head. I know this stops them from biting.....But, if the animal is already afraid or upset this will not help matters in the long run.
Sometimes we get lucky and have nice "lovey" boas and other times we get those "challenges". Personally, I love both. I love the easy ones because they are easy. I love the challenging ones because they will tame down. With all the animals I have owned I have yet to have one that has not tamed down. (I've owned boas, burm, retics, bloods, kingsnakes, bullsnakes, to name a few.)
For me, conditioning, consistency, and love is the key.
Conditioning and consistency:
We as humans are very conditioned whether we like to admit it or not. (Example. Green light. Red light. If you are like most you will think of a stop light. A ringing phone. Pick it up.) Snakes can be conditioned as well. First, you need to associate handling time just as it is. A great way to do this is owning a snake hook. If you don't have one. You should. I'll open my tank/tub and rub the snake lightly with the hook. This lets my snakes know that it's handling time. Not feeding time. I think hook them and bring them out enough so I can grab hold of them. For challenging animals I also don't move as much as I do with tamed animals. Gloves can be good and I have used them on my bigger snakes from time to time. (I am personally not a big glove guy though. I want them to be able to feel my warmth and love coming through my hands. I think gloves block that connection.) This is where baby steps come into play. If I get the snake out of the tank and I hold it without it striking at all I will hold it for a couple of minutes. Then I will put it back in it's cage. This way you are strengthing it's association with being outside as a good thing that is safe. For me, if a snake does strike while out I will hold it till it "relaxes" a bit. Then I'll put it back. (I personally won't put a snake right back in it's tank after it strikes. I don't want to condition it into thinking.....If I strike, he'll leave me alone. Because, that is what it is hoping and genetically programmed to do.) I may do this a couple of times a day. At least once a day at least. (Make note. If the animal is so stressed by this that it goes off feed. Then you will have to get it feeding again. Then, repeat the process. But, slower.) Try to make it a good experience for you both. Also, do this in a non busy area. For obvious reasons.
Love:
This is where the tree hugger comes out in me. Animals feel love as much as people do. You need to be in a good "state" for bonding time. Talk to your boa. Tell him/her it's safe. Tell it you love it.
There are many other factors that could cause a boa to act this way. Is the cage located in a bad area? Is it a new acquisition? Do your hands smell like another animal? Etc. There really are a lot of variables. Too many to discuss.
Make sure the animal has a hide area. This will be "it's space". I actually don't give my animals hides anymore unless I think they are needed. Some animals do need them.
Throw an old shirt of yours in the tank. Some have had success with that. This gets the animal use to your scent. Again, monitor your snakes behavior. I believe with snakes you really can be in tune with them. You can read their body language. You can read their movements. You can read their breathing patterns. Etc.
The challenges in taming a boa can actually be more rewarding in some ways. I think you learn more from them then the tame ones.
Enough of my ranting. I hope this helps a little.
John
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"To be the best..........You must lose your mind."

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