If your nervous about probing you can try this:
Grasp the tail, put your thumb on the vent and with firm pressure slide your thumb towards the back of the tail. If it's a male you can feel sometimes one or two pops pass by your thumb. That's the hemipenes. You can also note the scale count of the pops. The female will feel smooth. Give it a few tries. I've done it with 18" to 6 foot boas.

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