From what you are saying that the pair has only been together for about a month, it's most likely a pre-ovulation swell that you are seeing. As you said in your friend's case, his female was swelled for a while, it went down, then she swelled again huge.... that second swelling, was definately ovulation. When the female ovulates, the swelling is typically enormous and looks like the girl is ready to explode..

My advise to you, leave the male in there with the girl. Sometimes they take breaks on their own and will breed whenever they feel like it. It wont hurt anything to leave him in there and keep trying.

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