This was a close one. Observers say an attack was imminent. Luckily a quick thinking family member who was close by with implements of destruction sprang into action and saved the toddler from certain doom.



Neighborhood experts were baffled by the existence of such a creature so far from it's natural range. One woman exclaimed "They need to stay where they belong. This is America, not Egypt".



DNR has enlisted the help of wildlife-google-image-search-expert Vanessa to help ID the wicked killer and they have settles on a super hybrid Anaconda/Devil. Apparently this snake uses candy to lure in it's victims. Even worse she points out how it was wrapped around eggs that if they hatch could contain another super hybrid flying medusa snake that is bend on world destruction.



"These things are sold to 12 year olds and given away free with packs of gum." "It's got to stop" exclaimed senator D. Umbass. Senator Umbass is vowing to eliminate all snakes from the state with the help of Saint Patrick if re-elected. "We need to keep our streets safe for children". "Forget drugs and gang violence, these are the real menace 2 society".

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