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They rarely bite........

JM May 04, 2006 11:13 AM

Thought y’all might get a laugh out of this story~ it is *kind of* funny!

So~ I mentioned before that I have this 6 year old rescue snake that is only 500 grams right? Well on Tuesday a young (18 or so?) neighbor girl and her boyfriend came over wanting to know if I had any BPs available. I don’t right now, but I do have these rescues (including the small 6 year old) that will be ready for new homes *soon*. So~ I showed her several of my big BPs, and explained that BPs “Rarely bite, and if they do it’s not really a big deal” (famous last words…….can you see it coming?)

Then I take her to the quarantine area to show her the rescues that will need homes soon. I pull out this small 6 year old and I’m explaining that this snake has been underfed and should be much larger. Just as I’m explaining that this snake has a very aggressive feeding response since being in my care the little *darling* (not the word I’m really thinking!) turns around and clamps down on my wrist right at the joint. Then wraps tight on my arm and proceeds to try his absolute best to KILL my arm (I’ll never be hungry again!).

Very calmly, and trying not to admit how VERY badly that hurts I explained that the snake is always hungry and it’s not that the snake is mean, just that at this point he doesn’t understand that he can’t eat anything warm and moving he spots. My fault, not his. The girl is practically in a panic~ wants to pry the snake off my arm. No! Very calmly I explain that if I just run my arm under the cold tap he’ll lose his appetite and let go.

20 minutes later I’m dripping blood profusely and the snake has NOT given up. He’s actually doing an admirable job of killing my arm.

I tell her, no problem, he’s just determined. We’ll take him down stairs and spritz a shot of bourbon in his face. He’ll lose his appetite.

5 more minuites…..the snake and I have both had a shot of bourbon…….and he won’t let go. Lots more blood and it’s getting difficult to pretend it doesn’t hurt!

No problem……here help me get this bucket. Poor all that ice in there please. Yes…..fill it with water to the top. This should ruin his appetite……..any time now…….the ice water is making my arm hurt less (there is a plus!) Wow…..I didn’t think they could hold their breath quite THAT long!

FINALLY he lets go~

And shoots out of the bucket lunging for my other arm!!

I avoided that one~ got a hold of his head with my free hand~ and dripping blood and ice water dashed him back upstairs to put him in his tub!

The girl didn’t call back, I don’t think she wants a BP anymore

I don’t understand why not……..

They “rarely bite, and if they do it’s not really a big deal”
-----
Cheryl Marchek
AKA JM
The Red Dragons Den
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

Replies (28)

Liann May 04, 2006 11:22 AM

Great story! That so sounds like something that would happen to me! How's the wrist/arm doing?
-----
-----
Amber

Boas
1.1.0 Colombian (Austin & Ava)
1.0.0 Suriname (Aloysius)
1.1.0 Albino (Bo & Daisy)
Balls:
1.27.0 Normal (Tucker, Taylor,and lil' girls - RIP Eva)
1.1.0 Pastel
1.2.0 100% Het Pied
1.0.0 100% Het Albino (Bubba)
0.1.0 66% Poss. Het Albino
Corns:
1.1.0 Amber
1.1.0 Butter Motley
1.1.0 Crimson
1.1.0 Ghost
1.1.0 Hypo
0.0.1 Normal
1.1.0 Okeetee
1.0.1 Snow (Aiden)
1.1.0 Sunglow Motley
Milks:
1.1.0 Hypo Honduran (Damien & Lucy)
0.1.0 Pueblan (Marishka)
1.1.0 Sinaloan
Other:
1.0.0 Leopard Gecko
2.1.0 Dachshunds - Dakota, Montana, & Cheyenne
2.0.0 Ferrets - Bailey & Keyta

JM May 04, 2006 11:43 AM

I remember seeing a TV show once about the PSI a python can exert when attempting to kill prey~ I have a much better appreciation for what those numbers meant now!

LOL!

I'm soaking a bad shed off the little *darling* now (That may become his name....*Darling*....or maybe *Darkling* seeing as I may have to keep him if I can't convince him not to eat everything warm!) As soon as he's done I'll offer him another rat~ I don't think he lost many teeth to the incident (at least there were not very many in my wrist) and I'm hoping he's no worse for the expierience (I was really trying not to hurt him despite his intent to EAT my arm!)
-----
Cheryl Marchek
AKA JM
The Red Dragons Den
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

JP May 04, 2006 12:47 PM

I've had a few nasty bites over the years. Most have been feeding "accidents". I did have one particularly nasty Irian Carpet female that genuinely seemed to want to hurt me. She once left a tooth embedded in the knuckle on my index finger. The pain and swelling lasted for weeks and months. I guess the tooth has now been completely dissolved by my immune system. I can't feel it anymore, nor do I have any residual swelling there.

ginebig May 04, 2006 12:37 PM

ROTFLMAO!!! Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I'll bet that girl doesn't get within 15 feet of another live snake for the rest of her natural life . And in spite of my seeming insensitivity, I do hope your wrist is OK. I have a small, three foot plus, rock python who has the same reaction when I take her out in the fresh air. Youngster tried ta eat me face yesterday. If you ever decide you can't deal with the lil "Darkling" keep me in mind.

Quig

tailswithscales May 04, 2006 12:37 PM

That has got to be the funniest bite story I've ever read!! I do however have nothing but empathy for the pain you endured. Major kudos to you!
Excellent Story! Hope your healing well.
-----
Christine
Tails With Scales Reptiles
Happiness is biting my snake back!

mkco79 May 04, 2006 01:03 PM

LMAO! That is seriously the funniest post i have evver read on this site! Sorry about the arm but wow that is some funny stuff! Good story, thanks for sharing!
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Mike & Wendy

2.0.0 Siberian husky, Jackrussel/schitzu
0.0.1 Ball Python
1.0.1 Leopard Gecko
1.0.0 Beardie
4.0.0 Beta's
3.1.0 Future Herper's

xdeus May 04, 2006 01:10 PM

Great story and well written!

Too bad you couldn't grab the camera. It would have made for some great pics on the WIR!

kathylove May 04, 2006 01:25 PM

Bet that story is going to be told and embelished until that snake is at least 10'long and dripping venom, lol!

Remind me to tell you about my "funny" 12' Burmese python bite story (actually, it is pretty funny) when I FINALLY meet you in Anaheim this year.

See you then!

Melinda666 May 04, 2006 02:22 PM

LMAO!! poor little fella was just trying to get a warm meal. lol

805Ringo May 04, 2006 03:17 PM

n/m

jyohe May 04, 2006 05:58 PM

balls suck.....they are the worst beginner snake...they are not friendly they don't eat all year they just lay in a ball and do nothing all day..and they eat what they want and not always mice or rats.....and they are mean and nasty.

yep....balls suck......

funny story.......sorry you had that happen......

(been there done that.too many times.).......

Have fun........
.
.
.
-----
JYReptiles

Scales-N-Tails Reptiles ltd........Pa

805Ringo May 04, 2006 10:04 PM

Really?!! You haven't had good experiences with ball pythons? You think they're mean? Huh... Do you think boa constrictor are better tempered? I had both and I like both of them.

killerpython May 05, 2006 10:43 AM

I have to disagree. Balls do not suck (that sounds aweful) It is poor snake owners that do not understand how to keep a snake that suck. People that buy pets that are cool to have and then get tired of them. Like those @$$#01&$ that buy cute little burmese pythons then let them go in the everglades when they're 10 feet long eating rabbits....

It's not the pythons fault, its the jerk that bought it and didn't care for her...

I have 5 pythons, and never have any of them struck at anything but rodents.

That is a funny story though... happy healing

FredHammes May 06, 2006 05:53 PM

LOL!

I agree with part of that statement.

I love and enjoy my Ball Pythons. However, whoever started this thing about them being the best beginners' snake is full of it! I certainly do not recommend them for first-time keepers. I can really see how they could turn one off to snakes altogether......
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GratefulFred

jeff7777 May 04, 2006 05:59 PM

"...they rarely bite the crotch of your jeans!!!!"

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1.0 ball python "wolfgang"

Herpquest May 04, 2006 06:52 PM

you were 'HOT' Cheryl. That story just proves my point!!! Eric

nate7667 May 04, 2006 09:44 PM

That is hillarious! What a great story. I hope your wrist heals up. If that had been me, I'd been tempted to kung-fu the sh-it out of that snake and prob kill it, rather than gently un-wrap it.
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1 Ball Python named Rick James. He's the original superfreak.

jarskie May 05, 2006 01:11 AM

My snakes only respond to a good top shelf, well, crown royal to be exact, haha. Great story, and best of luck to those healing bite marks!

~Johnny

JM May 05, 2006 08:35 AM

And I think he considered part of the appetizer!
LOL!
-----
Cheryl Marchek
AKA JM
The Red Dragons Den
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

jarskie May 05, 2006 10:01 AM

"pour me something tall and strong"
"make it a hurricane, before I go insane"
Lol.

~Johnny

coldthumb May 05, 2006 11:32 AM

So i'm not the only ex-bartender on the forums ehh?


-----
Charles Glaspie

Tanstaafl:
"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch".
An acronym created by my favorite author Robert A. Heinlein.

jarskie May 07, 2006 02:26 AM

No sir, used to work at bar on the beach (galveston, texas) and mardi gras was really big there, and still is I might add. Hurricanes are the Mardi Gras drink of choice... Made so many I never wanted to smell so. co. again... Ah, those were the days..

~Johnny

coldthumb May 09, 2006 12:19 AM

Ah, those were the days..

yep,i bet they were! : )

I didn't get to sit on the beach,but watching 80 or so different "entertainers" was ..well entertaining
..sigh...yep..the good old days.
-----
Charles Glaspie

Tanstaafl:
"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch".
An acronym created by my favorite author Robert A. Heinlein.

JM May 05, 2006 08:16 AM

I find the funniest stories are usually the ones where I star as the leading Idiot! I was all busy being over confident in what I know and that snake sure did put me in my place! LOL! Oh well, wish I could say all the stories where I star as the leading Idiot are funny~ but saddly thats just not so. This one sure was!!

Quig~ if you want that Darkling snake you let me know and he's yours! LOL~ Evil little monster almost got me again yesterday after I soaked the shed off him! The entire episode did not affect his appetite at all, and he is convinced if he eats ME he'll never be hungry again!! (poor little guy)

Eric~ you always know how to make me smile~ I wonder how you always know when I most need the little pick up of some flattery too! Thanks!

JY~ Your right~ and Your wrong.....but thats okay~ so am I!

Thanks for sharing a laugh with me everyone!
-----
Cheryl Marchek
AKA JM
The Red Dragons Den
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

Liann May 05, 2006 08:20 AM

Thank "you" for the laugh! I made my husband read this last night and all he could say was "ouch!". He hasn't been bit by any of our snakes - "yet" - and I think he will be even more cautious now.

>>I find the funniest stories are usually the ones where I star as the leading Idiot! I was all busy being over confident in what I know and that snake sure did put me in my place! LOL! Oh well, wish I could say all the stories where I star as the leading Idiot are funny~ but saddly thats just not so. This one sure was!!
>>
>>Quig~ if you want that Darkling snake you let me know and he's yours! LOL~ Evil little monster almost got me again yesterday after I soaked the shed off him! The entire episode did not affect his appetite at all, and he is convinced if he eats ME he'll never be hungry again!! (poor little guy)
>>
>>Eric~ you always know how to make me smile~ I wonder how you always know when I most need the little pick up of some flattery too! Thanks!
>>
>>JY~ Your right~ and Your wrong.....but thats okay~ so am I!
>>
>>Thanks for sharing a laugh with me everyone!
>>-----
>>Cheryl Marchek
>>AKA JM
>> The Red Dragons Den
>>Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

-----
-----
Amber

Boas
1.1.0 Colombian (Austin & Ava)
1.0.0 Suriname (Aloysius)
1.1.0 Albino (Bo & Daisy)
Balls:
1.27.0 Normal (Tucker, Taylor,and lil' girls - RIP Eva)
1.1.0 Pastel
1.2.0 100% Het Pied
1.0.0 100% Het Albino (Bubba)
0.1.0 66% Poss. Het Albino
Corns:
1.1.0 Amber
1.1.0 Butter Motley
1.1.0 Crimson
1.1.0 Ghost
1.1.0 Hypo
0.0.1 Normal
1.1.0 Okeetee
1.0.1 Snow (Aiden)
1.1.0 Sunglow Motley
Milks:
1.1.0 Hypo Honduran (Damien & Lucy)
0.1.0 Pueblan (Marishka)
1.1.0 Sinaloan
Other:
1.0.0 Leopard Gecko
2.1.0 Dachshunds - Dakota, Montana, & Cheyenne
2.0.0 Ferrets - Bailey & Keyta

ginebig May 05, 2006 10:02 AM

>>Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons~ for you are Crunchy and taste good with Ketchup!

ginebig May 05, 2006 10:07 AM

The Rest Of The Story:

Cheryl, do ya think he took that line to heart? Nawwwww, he didn't have any ketchup

On another note, if you're serious about not wanting to shed anymore blood in breaking him, I have callouses he can't get through. Write me off list and we'll talk.

Quig

coldthumb May 05, 2006 11:39 AM

There was a retic yearling(bad rescue case)that eyed me that way once he was feeling better....but since it was a retic...lets just say i knew better than to trust him
So,he never got the chance...lol

Hilarious story!...Thanks for sharing .
-----
Charles Glaspie

Tanstaafl:
"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch".
An acronym created by my favorite author Robert A. Heinlein.

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