hello
well, MR. Brach sent me another little scribbling the other day... i dont know if it's a joke or serious but either way it's worth sharing,
enjoy -- Tom

Relocation Plan Foiled

By

Mr. Brach

Due to the recent problems regarding the US/Mexican border – many plans have been formulated among security agents… some include DNR. These plans were discussed on capital hill (as I’m sure all of you know) for security issues pertaining to our border. One document was accidentally leaked and forwarded to me personally. The authentication of this document being legitimate is easily disputed but still remains intriguing. This plan though highly admired, is a little crazy… even for government standards. Of the twenty pages of this plan that go on and on… and on with jargon that is unnecessary and pointless, I am able to sum up this plan in this short little essay. It goes like this:

The plan is a multi-billion dollar effort to quarry the Rio Grande, Mexican/US border by unearthing the ground to form a 600-mile long, one-mile wide, moat. The moat will have a cyclone fence placed approximately 100 yards from each edge of the moat. That fence will be complimented by another cyclone fence located approximately one hundred yards from the end of the first cyclone fence. There will be border patrol located on the outer perimeter of the second cyclone fence.

All the sand, dirt, and mud that are excavated will be carried on truck to be taken to the city of New Orleans. It will then be dumped in an attempt to raise New Orleans above sea level. Once New Orleans is leveled and the moat is complete. The final timely and costly venture of the plan will then be put into action. The entire states of Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama will be scoured and then stripped of all alligator, caiman, or crocodilian that inhabit the state. This includes all alligator farms as well. The crocodilian will all be relocated to the giant manmade moat located on the US/Mexican Border. The alligators can free feast on all who enter their domain.

The few stragglers that get by and manage to elude the jaws of the gators… or the top secret harvested rattlesnakes that are infesting the gaps between the two cyclone fences will be easily obtained by the border patrol waiting on the other side. In conclusion, we have killed three birds with one stone. We’ve handled the border dispute and immigration problem. We salvaged the city of New Orleans. And we quelled the threat of the alligators in the Southern States. Well… at least for some people we did… remember… for alligators… it all tastes like chicken to them.

Mr. Brach – author of “Hunting in the Wild” and “The Fall of 99” Volumes 1, 2, & 3.