THE OREGONIAN (Portland, Oregon) 27 July 06 Snake eyes - Fear of wildlife slithers into view (Dulcy Mahar)
J ust when I think I'm a mature adult, along comes something like the Great Snake Incident. I blame my friend Carlene for what happened. She told me how one of her cats brought a snake in while she was home alone, and how she had to get it out of the house with a stick. The incident must have imprinted on me.
Because, only a week later, I went out at night to move a sprinkler, and there was a snake in the path. I wasn't sure at first if it was a twig or a snake. So I got as close as I dared. It was all curvy like a snake. I went around to another side, and sure enough I saw a stripe down its back.
I ran inside and screeched for my husband. He was upstairs and took his sweet time. I screeched again, and when he came down I was angry and said something about how traumatized I was and how he needed to respond more quickly.
We went outside with the flashlight, and I shone it right on the snake. He kept saying, where is it? And I kept saying, it's right there where the light is. I was getting really mad because he seemed downright pigheaded about not seeing the snake, and I definitely needed rescuing.
Then he leaned down to pick it up, and I screeched again. "Don't touch it," I yelled. "It might bite you." He ignored me, picked it up and snapped it in two.
It was a twig.
I was so unnerved by the whole incident that I made him go down the dark path and turn off the sprinkler because I was sure there was a snake lurking out there ready to jump at my ankles.
It seems to me that all those magazine articles about attracting wildlife to your garden are so much hoo-hah. What people really want is selective attraction. One man's sweet honeybee fertilizing the flowers is another man's vicious stinger.
If we are going to be candid, we have to admit that most of us actually don't want that much wildlife in our gardens. I have seen considerable hand-wringing over the damage done by those winsome deer and cute little bunnies. And anyone who owns a pond knows that raccoons are fond of re-enacting Sherman's march through Georgia.
Then, of course, there is the constant battle with slugs, snails, aphids and, for some, spiders. I happen not to mind spiders, which is good because right now they are so busy draping every inch of my garden with webs that you'd think Hollywood was about to start filming "Return of the Arachnids."
When it comes to wildlife in the garden, most people have the welcome mat out for butterflies and diminutive birds, certainly something smaller than herons and hawks.
Bats, like snakes, are the subject of a great divide. Both can be great garden helpers. Bats are voracious mosquito eaters, and our locals are not at all like the bloodsuckers of vampire fame. Long ago, I put a bat box I got at the Audubon Society's store on the south side of the house in hopes of attracting more bats.
Since our garden snakes are not poisonous, they too should be welcome guests. However, I can't say I have a snake box. Intellectually, I accept that snakes are good for my garden. But when a snake, or maybe even a twig, rears its slithery head, intellect flies out the window.
Ever since the Great Snake Incident, my husband has taken to making remarks about rescuing me from the anaconda. Cute. I know I will not hear the end of this incident for some time.
Fear of wildlife slithers into view