Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Place your entries here, I'm REALLY looking forward to these.....
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Kel

www.collaredlizards.co.uk
0:0:1 Timor Monitor
2:2 Collared Lizards
1:6 Green Anoles
1:0 Dune Scorpion
3:0 Imperial Scorpions
2:0 Desert Hairy Scorpions
0:1 Mexican Red Knee Tarantula

not really a story, but this is how i imagine my lizards to think
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midge--well, it was sunny AGAIN today. I wish the weather would change sometimes. It's ALWAYS 105 degrees in the sun. That strange fleshy branch came out of the sky again and the tree it is attached to made those strange noises again. I wish I knew what it wanted and why it likes to interupt me when i am digging at the invisible barrier. I mean, I know something is out there. I can see it but for some reason, I just can't get to it. at least the branch is warm. later on, i sat on my sister. she is so much more comfortable than the ground.

jolly-- (tongue flick) oooh can i eat that?!? (tongue flick) oooh can i eat that?!? (tongue flick) oooh can i eat that?!? (tongue flick) oooh can i eat that?!? the big branch is coming out of the sky, I wonder if i can eat it? midge is sitting on me. i wonder if she has any food.

kaiser---OH GOD, IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!!!!! WHY DOES THAT BRANCH WANT TO EAT ME? MAYBE IF I SIT REALLY STILL FOR THE NEXT SEVEN HOURS IT WON'T EAT ME. OH GOD IT PUT BUGS IN THE CAGE!!! THEY ARE GOING TO EAT ME, I KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO EAT ME. WHY WHY WHY WHY DOES EVERYTHING WANT TO EAT ME? OH GOD, TIME TO RUN AROUND IN HYSTERICAL CIRCLES.
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vonnie

***I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. Kahlil Gibran***

PML, I nearly peed myself reading that, it's exactly what I think they think too. Ha Ha!!!! Except yoda's is slightly more relaxed about the branch:

"Hey this thing I'm sitting on is really not very warm this morning, maybe if I make myself as flat as a pancake and chill out for a while that really bright thing up there might start working and it might get warmer........"

Half an hour later....

"(Yawn)...Man, I'm starting to sweat crickets, I cant be bothered to move, maybe if I open my mouth a little bit it might not be so warm"

Another hour passes by......

"Ok so the little lady is sitting on my head with her finger in my eye and her toe in my butt. Maybe if I lick her she'll go away"

She doesnt go away, he closes the eye with the finger in it and shuffles about a little so the toe is no longer in his butt....

"Oh, here comes breakfast, at least the little lady has gotten off my head".

The invisible barrier makes a horrible toe curling shreik as the brown squishy thing moves it out the way. He opens one eye, but doesnt move a muscle, he is so relaxed that he almost falls back to sleep.

"Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep then breakfast will come to me today"

The "Little Lady" at this point has two grass hoppers in her mouth and a third one sitting on her head, she cant decide whether to eat the ones in her mouth or shake the one off her head and eat all three at the same time. Her tail is curled and she is as excited as a kitten with a ball.

"Man she's dumb. Why doesnt she see that if she just plays ignorant and pretends she's not hungry the squishy thing will bring breakfast to her"

He closes one eye but keeps the other half open watching the box of hoppers. One jumps out, and sits two inches from his face. His tail curls but he he's too chilled out to get up and eat it. The "Little Lady" beats him to it.

"OK, so she's dumb, and that makes me one very unhappy lizard. I'll show her how its done......."

He jumps on the brown squishy thing, just as it begins to move back out of the tank. "Hey where ya think you're goin"? He pounces, throws the dirtiest mean look he can at the squishy thing's face, and curls his tail. He jumps on the squishy thing, sticks his head in the box, and eats. And he eats, and he eats. Then he eats some more, so his belly feels like it is about to burst, he throws another mean look at the brown swuishy thing, and saunters back over to his "Warm thing". He watches the brown squishy thing as he goes, but takes his time.

"Oh god I feel sick", he thinks as he climbs up the "warm thing" under the "really bright thing up there". The "Little Lady" has laid down in his spot, she is smiling because she got grass hoppers for breakfast. She loves to eat hoppers. He doesnt like her very much at this point, so he pretends she is not there, lays across her back sideways in a belly flop type of motion, and closes his eyes.

"Maybe later I'll dig a hole and bury the little lady in it, if she stays still long enough......."

Man its hard being a lizard.
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Kel

www.collaredlizards.co.uk
0:0:1 Timor Monitor
2:2 Collared Lizards
1:6 Green Anoles
1:0 Dune Scorpion
3:0 Imperial Scorpions
2:0 Desert Hairy Scorpions
0:1 Mexican Red Knee Tarantula

"Ok so the little lady is sitting on my head with her finger in my eye and her toe in my butt. Maybe if I lick her she'll go away"

I nearly died!
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vonnie

***I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. Kahlil Gibran***

I just kind of thought about what they actually do every morning. She does it all the time, and I see the look of dismay rather than disgust in his little face. It bothers him, I can tell.
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Kel

www.collaredlizards.co.uk
0:0:1 Timor Monitor
2:2 Collared Lizards
1:6 Green Anoles
1:0 Dune Scorpion
3:0 Imperial Scorpions
2:0 Desert Hairy Scorpions
0:1 Mexican Red Knee Tarantula

oh trust me, i know how very true it is. jolly outweighs her sisters by alot and she insists on sitting on top them also and i am always waiting for one of them to get the toenail inside the eye
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vonnie

***I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. Kahlil Gibran***

hahhahaha!! that cracked me up.
thanks