TIMES-COLONIST (Victoria, British Columbia) 21 August 03 Snakes alive!: Gardeners discover a bond in their ophiophobia (Helen Chesnut)
Of all God's creatures, my least favourite is the snake. My natural aversion to slithering serpents was considerably heightened during my childhood on Tattersall Drive in Victoria, when many a delightful playtime in the neighbourhood woodlands was marred by the odious little boy from across the street chasing me home, writhing snake in hand.
When I began developing this garden, my children were just eight and 10. The property was surrounded by forest and contained several snake-infested wooded areas. I was convinced they lay in wait for me. Snakes would shoot out of compost piles as I added plant clippings to the heap. They curled up in the head lettuce, and formed sinister coils by pathways. It's a wonder my shrieks in reaction to reptilian encounters did not cause a heart attack somewhere in the neighbourhood, at that time composed entirely of retired people.
The children became so accustomed to my garden screaming that they responded to it with a well-practised chorus of "Mommy's seen a sna-ake!"
I was more than pleased to receive a recent e-mail affirming that I am not alone in dissolving into a puddle of fright at the sight of a snake.
Freaked out in the flora. Here is Clive's story, to which he has given the heading: This Used to be Paradise.
"I am an avid gardener, who enjoys time in the garden. I find it very relaxing and calming. I spend many hours daydreaming while weeding. I solve all the world's problems in my garden. I used to think of my garden as my little paradise. That was until this year.
"The blood-curdling screams that can be heard, probably as far away as Qualicum, are from me as I am nearly scared to death by the slithering creatures that have invaded my garden this summer.
"I know I am a hundred times bigger than they are, but size isn't everything.
"I know they are beneficial to the garden, but I can live with imperfection.
"I swear they spend the day lying in ambush, waiting to startle the daylights out of me. My wife, who is not a gardener, likes to sit outside and read. She always has encouraging comments like, 'What a baby your are,' or 'Shall I call an ambulance? Have they bitten off a limb?' What irritates me even more is how calmly she picks them up, puts them in a bucket and carries them across the road to set them free.
"I am sure with my luck we probably have homing snakes, who communicate to all their comrades what fun it is to live in our garden. Actually, if only they would attack, I might get some sympathy from my so-called friends who seem to get much pleasure from my cowardice.
"I thought of making peace with the neighbour's cat. 'Why not take care of my snake problem, and I'll look the other way as you use my flower beds as your private toilet.' But I think the cat enjoys listening to me cursing his name every morning as I find his latest deposit.
"There could be one benefit to snakes. They could be keeping me healthy. I figure if I can do the 100-yard dash in less than 10 seconds, that's pretty good. If I can go from 70 heart beats a minute to 150 in a split second that has to be a great test of strength for the heart as long as the stress does not do me in.
"Seriously, I know the benefits of snakes, but I am not capable of sharing my garden with them. I keep a clean and healthy garden and don't know what has attracted them. Can they be trapped or discouraged? Any suggestion short of moving would be greatly appreciated."
My reply. Ordinary garden snakes possibly indicate the presence of slugs, which snakes devour. The only way I can think of for avoiding being startled by them is to bash lightly around the area you are about to work in with a light bamboo cane, to move the creatures away. Clive responded that he had decided to ask his wife "to pre-inspect the area I plan to work in, as a sort of reconnaissance mission. Perhaps this will draw her into joining me in the pleasures of gardening."
Editor's note: Alternative versions of ophiophobia, the fear of snakes, can be found in various dictionaries and Web sites. The TC conforms to the Oxford Canadian dictionary.