For a medium sized monitor with lots of personality (really most of them) and a fairly laid back disposition (or so I've heard)(for a monitor), I was thinking maybe dumeril's. I haven't kept this species myself, so I can't give you any first hand experience, but captive bred specimens are supposed to be great monitors. Check out roughneckmonitors dot com for info and maybe a captive bred baby.
About handling, I wouldn't suggest getting any species with the mentality of being able to handle it. You may, or you may not. It depends on the individual, and the specific situation it's in. If you want something to handle and hold for long periods (a lap dog), well, I'd suggest a dog. But I would not suggest any reptile (especially monitors) for somebody wanting a loving, cuddly pet. But if you want animals that, if left alone, will put on a show and make you laugh almost everyday, then maybe monitors are for you. You can still interact (they are really good for food conditioning and such) with them and touch them if you like, but don't expect them to be a lap animal.
Cheers,
Ryan