Personally, I dont like handling my animal(s) because they dont seem to like it. My desire to hold them is quickly overpowered by my desire to make them happy.
my animal isnt here for my amusement- its here to live its life. The fact that I, as a 'higher' being, use my intelligence to capture and confine this creature, means that I have taken on the responsibilities usually handled by mother nature- in this case water, food, light, sanitation, etc.
I look at this in a very strange fashion.
I often see people thinking in 2 mainstream fashions about a diety- a Natural aspect, and Religious aspect.
The natural aspect tends to not pay much attention to mankind, but rather be going about its business(maintaining existence), and man just happens to get caught up in the mix (being part of the world and all); which eventually leads to interaction between man and nature (be it a beautiful sunset that you see, or a terrible storm that you dont survive).
The religious aspect tends to have a very close eye on man, sometimes even to the point of watching individuals and messing with their lives; all the while DOING very little that can be percieved by Man. The religious aspect also tends to have a 'wrathful' side, becoming angry and destructive when its desires are not met.
I tell you this because I see a keeper as a kind of 'deity' to a lizard- a massive force that can completely turn the world on its end, but also can and does provide the much needed resources of life (water, food, etc).
I see many taking the 'religious aspect' route- forcing themselves upon their animals, eyeing them constantly, and taking offense if the creature dosnt respond well to its treatment.
I prefer to take a 'nature aspect' approach- I am here, doing whats going to be done; the animal can choose to interact with me, or it can choose to ignore me and simply deal with the results of my work. I dont hover over it like a mother over a newborn- I simply allow it to live, providing it what it needs to do so, and allow it to decide how much it wants to interact with me when the time arrives.
Hope i didnt come off all 'stoner philosophy' on ya there... somehow i think i did 
'...well I only have one monitor and I handle him all the time for a variety of reasons
1.For cage cleaning and health inspections
2.To take him outside for some sunlight
3.Because I guess I never got over that "want" to handle my reptiles,even after 20 years.
If you dont beleive in handling your "pets" maybe you should take up rock collecting...'
I can agree with some of that, and disagree with most of it.
The cage cleaning thing- thats just bogus.
Thats done for your sake, not the animals. Theres no NEED to remove an animal from its enclosure for cleaning; unless its a seriously big job (the animal gets in the way) or the animal is flighty/aggressive (you get in the way of the animal).
What I CAN approve of is doing it for medical reasons- its HARD to keep tabs on the overall physical health of a monitor unless you have liberty to A. get close to it and B. get a good look at all sides of it. It can be hard/impossible to do this in some setups, and it is impossible (short of domination) to do such a thing with a flighty/aggressive animal. If such is the case, I suppose its a needed evil to protect the well-being of your animal. I manage to do it pretty well without removing or handling him, especially when he graces me with his touch and climbs up my arm.
I do not approve of taking your animal outside- I just dont. The negative possibilities (infection, parasites, predation by larger animals, escape, etc) outweigh the minimal benefit your monitor will gain from anything less than a few hours in the sun.
You take the animal outside because YOU want to go outside with it, not because IT has any real desire to spend a half hour in the yard. Thats my take on that whole situation at least.
That last bit is just a poor excuse.
"Because I guess I never got over that "want" to handle my reptiles,even after 20 years"
Maybe you should work on that- seems like forcing yourself on your animals for the sake of making you happy has been a serious part of your husbandry, even over 20 years.
"If you dont beleive in handling your "pets" maybe you should take up rock collecting"
I think you have it backwards there, as a rock isnt really going to mind being handled; while the opposite is true of most (if not all) reptile species.
I cant speak for anyone else, but I dont handle my animal because I dont consider him a 'pet'. A 'pet'is by definition
'1. any domesticated or tamed animal that is kept as a companion and cared for affectionately. '
Did you catch those 2 words Im focusing on here? 'domesticated' and 'tamed'.
A monitor is not domesticated. A monitor lizard cannot be 'tamed' because it was not 'untamed' to begin with. By imposing your will on this animal, you are not 'freeing' it from its 'wild nature'. You are pushing a set of expectations that YOU have about the animal, onto it. And from its stand point, these are often 'negative' and when it responds 'negatively' to said conditions, you consider that 'untamed' (ie, aggression when it dosnt want to be handled, aka pestered).
The other part Id like to focus on from the definition is the 'kept as a companion and cared for affectionately. ' part.
You CAN keep monitors as pets in this sense- but you have to understand that caring for them affectionately (by human standards) is not what they want or need.
You CAN be affectionate towards your animal without touching him- if only in the thoughts you bear. You dont have to hug your monitor to let it know that you care about its safety- there are other ways to show it that, and it wont understand the concept of 'affection' in the human sense anyway.
To be kept as a companion is something that all monitors are (or should be), regardless of setup, species, size, aggression, etc.
I dont consider my animal a 'pet', because a pet is something that has been totally and completely dominated by man.
I consider my animal a companion, because he still has quite a bit of fight in him and will continue to do so as long I continue to uphold my responsibility to keep him healthy and happy.
...didnt mean for that to come out sounding personal, was just an overall statement regardin the whole 'monitors as pets' way of thinking, which I am coming to despise more and more each day.