O/T but just need to vent..... (2007 Archive)

RussellLe Oct 25, 2007 12:57 PM

My GF was 5 months pregnant and she was coming back from a meeting in Dallas area. Some a**hole wanted to get drunk and run a red light now she just got out of the hospital and we lost the baby. This would have been my first child and It was a boy like I had always wanted, so it really does hurt. She has been in tears for the past week, and I am at a loss of words when I see her.

melindaste Oct 25, 2007 01:11 PM

I am so sorry for the both of you. I hope the driver was caught, and is charged accordingly. I hope that your girlfriend is other than the obvious ok.

wetceal Oct 25, 2007 01:13 PM

I am so sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend's loss. I don't even know what to say to help ease your pain. I have a passionate hatred for drunk driving as well. Sean had a close call with a drunk driver a few years ago. If he hadn't been in his Land Cruiser that was like a tank, then he probably wouldn't have made it out of that accident.

Once again, I'm so sorry to read about you and your girlfriend. At least you can take comfort in the fact that she made it through the accident.

You will both be in our thoughts...

Celia
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Celia Chien
www.ExoticsByNature.com

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royalkreationz Oct 25, 2007 01:54 PM

That sucks. As you know, I lost my 4 year old this year to someone else's stuprid driving and I know exactly how you feel. Be sure you keep up with the prosecution of that butthead. According to TX law, that person is eligible for intoxication manslaughter charges. Follow up and don't let anyone tell you nothing can be done to him. Be persistent. I am going to send you my contact info in an email, and if you need someone to talk to who has been there, I will be all ears and help you any way I can. I could ramble on about this for hours, but I am fixing to get way too emotional about this type of subject. Take care of yourselves, let wisdom be your guide and not anger, and love that girl because she needs it. Also, let yourself be loved because you need it too. I know how it is trying to be the strong one, but don't hold your emotions in because in a short time frame they will rear their ugly heads and it sucks, believe me.

Take care and let me know how I can help.
Thoughts and prayers,
Jody Barnes
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Happy Herping,
Jody Barnes
Royal Kreationz

KMS Oct 25, 2007 02:13 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss. today things may not seam so bright but each passing day it will and someday youll have the son you always wanted...God Bless you and your family.
Kevin Stoltz
www.kmsreptiles.com

414reptiles Oct 25, 2007 02:47 PM

sorry for your loss , i dont really know what to say but that is a heartbreaking event
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we're here because a hobby became an obsession

some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant...don't know who started this saying but it's the truth

csquared1 Oct 25, 2007 03:05 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You and your family will be in my prayers.
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Craig

Gotta love the Bumble Bee.

RoyalVariations Oct 25, 2007 03:57 PM

You both are in our prayers.

God Bless,
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Kyle
www.royalvariations.com

"be safe, be happy and dont let anyone make you afraid" David Coverdale

RussellLe Oct 25, 2007 04:05 PM

This day is just getting crazy for me, I just got home from picking up my niece and nephew from school and a young kid bumped me from behind. No damage to the car and no injuries but I mean what else?! Then I leave again overseas in 2 weeks while my GF is going through this... I really am fed up with everything right now.

JSpythons Oct 25, 2007 05:40 PM

your loss. I can't even begin to think about how unbelievably painful that would be. About the trip, is it 100% necessary that you go? If you don't have to, I'd give it up. I think you could tell them that you had a very traumatic family emergency and I think you could get out of it. Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless you and your family as you go through this.

JenHarrison Oct 26, 2007 12:28 AM

If he's military, they aren't going to excuse him from deployment for something like this. They have strict rules about what warrants being left back in garrison or being allowed to take leave from a conflict zone. We've dealt with the bureaucracy too much in the past year and know all too well how insensitive and cold the military is.

However, if it's a short deployment to a non-conflict zone for something not really necessary, he may be able to get out of it if he goes up the chain of command.

To the OP: I am extremely sorry for your loss. As a mother with a young daughter, I would be heartbroken beyond repair if anything happened to her. I feel for you and your girlfriend, and hope you are able to have support during this tough time. As for your girlfriend, just continue to be there for her, even if it has to be silently. Just your presence next to her would be a comfort. Let her know that you love her, and that you are facing this together -- that she is not alone. Also make sure she knows that this is NOT her fault -- mothers tend to feel like everything that happens to their child is their fault, like we didn't do something right or made the choice to go out when we should have stayed home, or couldn't protect them like we should have. She may feel like she wasn't strong enough to protect the baby inside her, and that may be why she is taking this so hard. For a mother to have her child inside her and already love it so much, it hurts deeply not to be able to welcome it into the world and see the one that you felt moving. She is going to grieve for awhile, and may never be able to let it completely go despite being able to move forward.

I'm not sure how spiritual you two are, but perhaps it would be some comfort to think that perhaps this happened for a reason -- perhaps there would have been something wrong with the baby that would have endangered your girlfriend's health/life later on in the pregnancy. Perhaps you were not meant to have this child, but meant to have another one later on (and you WILL have another chance to have this son). My mom went through many miscarriages before she had me, and she took that to mean that I was the one supposed to be with her -- the others were not. She took it to mean that I was strong and had the will to live and make it through. Perhaps this is only the beginning to the journey you will have with your next child. I have you both in my thoughts...
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~* Jen *~

Pink Lady Constrictors

ginebig Oct 25, 2007 08:59 PM

You're being deployed in two weeks? DAMN!! Just make sure she knows you love her. Tell her every chance you get. You've got nothing but time for another boy. Both of you hold onto that, and YOU stay out of the line of fire. Will there be someone to help her through this while you're gone? Prayers goin' up for the both of you from Michigan.

Quig
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Don't interupt me when I'm talkin' to myself

Steve_Harrison Oct 25, 2007 10:03 PM

Hey man-

Any help I can give you locally? I'm in the Jax, FL area and can give a hand if you live locally. Man, that really sucks- fatherhood is the BEST! It straightened my wild butt out quick, and I just LOVE my kids- they are awesome! You'll get another chance, just be there for her and don't say too much- just be there..

Praying for you,

Steve Harrison

yeahyeah Oct 26, 2007 09:48 PM

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I pray that God gives you and your wife the strength to carry through this. I don't know if this helps at all, but when I'm down or discouraged I like to read the lyrics of this song: