MIAMI HERALD (Florida) 26 October 07 E! models, pythons mix it up at Hard Rock (Glenn Garvin)
It was a television producer's -- and maybe a Freudian psychologist's -- dream: Three half-nekkid models, their bodies draped in slithering snakes, with South Florida's version of the Temple of Mammon, the Seminole Hard Rock Casino near Hollywood, looming in the background as the cameras rolled.
Better yet, the snakes were getting frisky.
One wriggled down a model's back, slipped its head into the bow securing her bikini top and tugged: Call it anthropomorphism, but it sure looked like he was trying to untie it. Meanwhile, a second python coiled itself into a noose around another's neck.
A snake wrangler grabbed the prurient-minded python and placed it back on her shoulders. But since the FCC has no clear rules against the on-camera strangulation of reality-show contestants, the second model was on her own. ''Just let me know when you can't breathe,'' the wrangler helpfully advised her.
Soft-core kink and hard-core lunacy were the rules of the game on a makeshift platform alongside the Hard Rock's pool, where the E! television channel was shooting Last Model Standing, which will air Nov. 24.
Competing for a fashion layout in Marie Claire magazine, seven aspiring Miami models took part in a 31-hour marathon competition in which they had to keep a hand touching a giant magazine cover while meeting challenges such as balancing martini glasses on their heads and striking torturous poses in six-inch heels . . . and, oh yeah, those snakes.
The marathon, which began Tuesday night, finally ended in the wee hours of Thursday morning when one of the final two competitors collapsed after standing in a one-legged flamingo pose for 47 minutes, holding a foot in one hand while keeping the other on that magazine cover.
It was a satisfying conclusion for E! producers, who were in a blind panic when the first model was eliminated less than half an hour into the competition.
''She was chatting with the other girls, kind of talking with her hands, and they came off the cover,'' said Jason Kennedy, the E! anchor who hosted. 'The producers were saying, `If they're dropping like flies after 25 minutes, how are we going to get a show out of this?' ''
But after that, the models put on their game faces.
Accessorizing their designer gowns (and, from time to time, bikinis; they changed clothes every few hours) with looks of steely resolve (unless they sensed a camera -- which prompted a sunny smile), they not only talked smack, but even launched psy-war attacks.
''Oh, yeah,'' confirmed Lei, one of the models, during the hourly five-minute break. (E! ordered them not to give their full names.) 'We tried everything. Like saying, `Ohmigod, you've got bugs in your hair!' None of it really worked, though.''
Sometime around the 12-hour mark, exhaustion began to take its toll. The chatter slowed, and a second model was eliminated when she reflexively reached up to straighten a collar. A third washed out during the martini-glass challenge. As the 24th hour approached, the models had not only the bodies of famine victims, but the glassy-eyed stare.
''It's hard, but I'm glad I'm doing this,'' said 21-year-old Kelly during a break. ''Even if I don't win, this is good training.'' Ummm, training? Are there a lot of career openings for standing around touching a magazine cover? ''It's, uh, experience. Or something,'' Kelly said. ``I'm sorry. I don't know how to make it sound good. I'm really tired.''
Weariness soon claimed another model -- she simply forgot to put her hand on the cover when competition resumed after a break. And at the 26-hour mark, the pythons came out. Some of the models, clued in by a question from producers about what they feared most, had expected the snakes, but others were surprised.
''I guarantee she didn't know this was coming,'' said WFOR-CBS 4 reporter Jawan Strader, whose girlfriend Joanna had the python around her neck. ``She hates-hates-hates snakes. I didn't know she had this in her.''
Snake wrangler Mitch Brynes, who brought the pythons down from Bushnell, in Sumter County, said they really weren't dangerous. Sort of. ''I've never heard of a python eating a fashion model,'' he said. ``Maybe taking a little nip of one.''
''I think you should have gotten one of those 25-foot pythons,'' said a spectator as he madly snapped photos.
''No, that might have been a problem,'' conceded Brynes. Replied the spectator, as chilly as a producer: ``But it would have been great television footage.''
E! models, pythons mix it up at Hard Rock