TRIBUNE-REVIEW (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) 07 December 07 See you way later, alligator (Eric Heyl)
Rare is the moment when any commonality can be found between a modest concrete garage in Larimer and the marshy wilds of the Florida Everglades.
Consider Thursday a rarity.
In that Animal Rescue League of Western Pennsylvania garage was a creature much more indigenous to the Everglades than these parts: an alligator.
A large one.
The 6-foot-long creature sat in a cage, being warmed with heat lamps, as the rescue league folks frantically phoned Trader Joe's to ask if the nearby grocery could rush over the largest package in stock of Purina Gator Chow.
"This is unusual for us," rescue league development director Dan Musher said. "We've cared for the occasional goat or pot-bellied pig, but we deal mostly in dogs and cats. Large reptiles really aren't our area of expertise."
Nor do they fall within the purview of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police.
Officers discovered the alligator Wednesday in an unlikely habitat -- the basement of a North Murtland Avenue residence where they went to arrest three robbery suspects.
Guilty of nothing more than hanging out with some shady characters, the alligator nonetheless was hauled off to the rescue league. It immediately was segregated from the other animals for reasons that should be stunningly apparent to anyone not recovering quickly enough from a debilitating head injury.
Unlike some of the other animals the facility houses, Musher said, the creature has not been nicknamed by rescue league staff.
"We've been calling him, 'The Big Alligator,' " he said.
What fate awaits The Big Alligator?
On the rescue league's Web site, you can click on links that say "Woof! I Want to Adopt a Dog!" or "Meow! I Want to Adopt a Cat!" But there is no link that says, "Chomp! Gimme that Gator!"
Musher said the omission probably is for the best.
"Alligators don't make good pets," he said. "They can't be domesticated. You can't teach them tricks, and they don't depend on humans for food or care, unless they're living in someone's basement."
So if you're elderly and wondering if you qualify for a senior citizen discount on alligator adoption fees, let me save you the trouble of inquiring. You aren't getting the gator.
The rescue league is consulting with a local herpetological expert to determine who does get it. Musher believes the animal ultimately will be shipped south to a more appropriate climate.
Given the alligator's history, that certainly leaves open the possibility of it being apprehended in some future fugitive roundup in West Palm Beach.
Musher doesn't know exactly how long The Big Alligator will be in that Everglades substitute of a garage, but the rescue league's goal is to make its stay as brief as possible.
"Honestly," he said, "we're better with warm-blooded animals."
See you way later, alligator