Reptile & Amphibian Forums

I feel so terrible, you guys. I need someone to shed some light on how this could have happened. Yesterday, Pandora was soaking her water when my boyfriend and I went out. She had her head poking out and seemed to be enjoying herself. She seemed really full, though- we fed her nightcrawlers the day before for the first time, and she loved them. (I think she ate four or five.) Last night when we returned, she was floating belly-up in her water, dead. I feel so awful. I feel like I killed her somehow. I can't see how this happened- she was sweet, eating, and was getting her colors back. My boyfriend buried her. He said that her belly seemed lumpy, but I'm not sure if that was because she was gravid or her being in the water for so long bloated her. I'm not even sure how long she was dead before we found her. Just to think of her struggling to get out of the water and I wasn't there to help her makes me feel so guilty I want to cry again. Is it possible she could have been eggbound? Her water wasn't even deep, it's the depth we always fill it to, and she's been in and out of it a bunch of times. I just don't see how she could have drowned. I guess I'll never know. I'm going to the pet store we got her from to see if they had problems with the other MHD they had there. I just wanted to vent, and see if maybe Marcia or someone could shed some light on the situation. Thanks. I miss her already.

Kali

but I M so sorry for the loss
I read your post the same day it went up, and I could not answer right away, I was so upset for you, feeling the loss with you (to a degree, I know)
I M more jumpy about my Erowen now (I M not saying anything bad to you)
I M glad I have a paint tray for her to swim in, it might be smaller than some other things I could use, but it has a gradient to it
but she has a larger piece of wood for climbing on, so I cannot always see her, and I admit I get scared of that image of your baby in the water
I hope you are well,
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Elizabeth (ecb)

Make this world a better and more beautiful place that You have been in it
*Edward W Bok*

Thanks Elizabeth It's just nice to have someone who cares about what I'm going through. Nobody except my boyfriend really understands that it's painful... everybody else is just kind of like, "so... it's just a lizard..." I don't know why some people think affection for pets only extends to furry, cuddly animals. I hope somehow Pandora knows I would never have intentionally hurt her... someday, we might get another MHD, but this time we want a CB. Anyway, thanks for your kind words. It means alot.

Kali

I was not sure I should post anything, because what happened touched me SO deeply
heck, my daughter gets upset at having to kill feeder mice for her Snake
We all aproach death differently
I grew up on a farm, there are many shades of grey when it comes to the death of a pet, or a person
no feelings of sadness or loss are wrong
its just we all have a different way of looking at each relationship, and each death
a senseless death of someone/thing we cared for is hard to take
fur or not
I have been consoling a 5yo about a goldfish for a little over a day
Did you see Joe's Post about the babies?
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Elizabeth (ecb)

Make this world a better and more beautiful place that You have been in it
*Edward W Bok*

I have to say that her belly would not be lumpy from bloating and water. I don't think the water killed her or that she drowned. If her belly was lumpy my bet would be that she was egg bound. I have only experience that once and it was heart-breaking. I do know how you feel. I have lost other MHDs but the egg-bound lady was special and losing her was hard to bear. In fact, she is the only MHD I have lost that got a proper burial!

I am sure you did all you could have for her. If you had noted that she was ready to lay eggs there is some possiblity that a well informed vet could have tried to help her with the eggs but chances are she still would not have laid them on her own and very well would have died anyway.

If it would help you at all, check out this site and maybe you would want to have her added to this memorial site......
www.geocities.com/vanyul_69/memorial/. I had Darla added after I lost her. Somehow it helps a little!

Marcia

It's a huge load off my shoulders (and my heart) that it wasn't my fault. I've read your journal on your website about Darla, and how you removed her eggs after she died. I wanted to open Pandora up and remove her eggs, but I just couldn't. I knew I didn't have the expertise or the bravery. Besides, I wasn't sure how long she'd been gone and how long the eggs can survive in a dead mother. But thanks again, Marcia. You're a lifesaver on this forum!

Kali