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Well, let's see now ... we could say ... nahh! Let's just leave this one alone.

THE NATION (Bangkok, Thailand) 08 June 08 Man with condom on found bitten to death by snake
Ayutthaya: A body of a 40-year-old man with a cobra carcass in his head was found on a roadside here Sunday morning.
An preliminary autopsy also found that Wiroj Banlen, 40, was wearing a condom although he was putting on his trousers. No semen was found inside the condom.
His body was found on the side of a dirt road in Tambon Lamsai of Ayutthaya's Wangnoi district at 7 am.
He was bitten several times by the snake on his right leg and on his cheeks.
His hands were clenching the dead cobra, whose body was bitten several times especially on its stomach.
The preliminary autopsy found scales of the snake in his mouth.
His body was sent for a full autopsy at a hospital.
Man with condom on found bitten to death by snake

I hope this doesn't work out to be a theme in Asia and the S Pacific!

THE TELEGRAPH (London, UK) 30 May 08 Tourist bitten on penis by deadly brown snake (Nick Squires)
Sydney: A tourist in Australia is lucky to be alive after being bitten on the penis by one of the world’s most venomous snakes.
The man was having a roadside toilet stop when the deadly brown snake emerged from the bush and lunged at his crotch.
It bit him on the end of the penis but did not release a significant amount of toxin through its fangs.
Paramedics rushed to the aid of the tourist, who was on a road near the town of Laura, on the wild and rugged Cape York Peninsula of Queensland.
"It certainly had a swipe at him," an ambulance spokesman told the Cairns Post. "But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock."
The incident happened a month ago but has only just come to light after it was confirmed by medical staff.
Despite his lucky escape, the tourist was left vomiting and with stomach pain from the small amount of poison the snake had injected.
Paramedics wrapped his penis in plastic sheeting and took him to hospital in nearby Cooktown, named after Capt James Cook, where he spent a night recovering.
The man, whose nationality was not released, was extremely fortunate to be alive but also “shocked and embarrassed” about where he had been bitten, an ambulance spokesman said.
Brown snakes are among the most common species of snake in Australia and are often encountered around farms, in bushland and even in suburbia. They cause more deaths from snakebite than any other species.
The eastern or common brown snake has the second most potent venom of any land snake, second only to the inland taipan, also found in Australia. The brown snake’s venom is 12 times more toxic than that of the Indian cobra.
About 3,000 Australians are bitten by snakes each year, but on average there are only one or two deaths because most victims receive anti-venom.
Brown snakes account for about half of all Australia’s snake bites, with the rest from tiger snakes, death adders and taipans.
Tourist bitten on penis by deadly brown snake

CAIRNS POST (Australia) 11 June 08 Snake charmer uses rum remedy (Damon Guppy)
A man who was bitten on the penis by a deadly snake yesterday told how he used a cold rum can to soothe the pain while he rang his mother to say a final goodbye.
"I thought I was gone," Cairns carpenter Daryl Zutt said of his now notorious encounter with a brown snake during a roadside toilet stop in remote Far North Queensland.
"I thought, ‘Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I’m gonna cark it’."
When The Cairns Post revealed details of the bizarre encounter two weeks ago, the story attracted headlines worldwide.
But the identity of the victim remained unknown until yesterday when Daryl Zutt came forward to tell how the brown snake took a near-fatal swipe as he relieved himself near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, on April 27.
Mr Zutt and his mates were returning from a pig-hunting and fishing trip near Musgrave Station.
"I squatted down … I reckon I must’ve nearly sat on his head," he said.
"As soon as I felt it, I yelled.
"It really hurt.
"When it happened, I knew in the back of my mind it was a snake.
"I seen him coming out from between my legs."
He said he tried to remain calm as he inspected the damage.
"He got me about halfway down," he said. "I saw fang marks and a bit of blood come out."
Mr Zutt saw the snake, which he said looked like an eastern brown, slither under rocks.
He alerted his mate and they drove to Lakeland to seek medical help.
His friend called triple-0 to advise authorities of the bite.
When he arrived at Lakeland, emergency services volunteers were waiting to help him.
"I was nauseous and had pains in the stomach," Mr Zutt said.
"I couldn’t talk properly.
"I was tongue-tied."
A paramedic treated Mr Zutt and took him to Cooktown Hospital.
After a series of blood and urine tests, which confirmed he was not envenomated, he was discharged.
He praised all staff who helped him, especially Dr Natasha Coventry and the hospital’s nurses.
Mr Zutt said he had copped a ribbing from his mates but they knew full well "they could’ve been attending my funeral".
"They’ve been saying things like ‘It was a trouser snake fight’ and ‘He (the snake) saw the competition and got scared’," he said.
"Once they knew I was right, the jokes came out."
He said he would still venture to the outback but there would be no more "running through the bush barefoot and pig-hunting".
Snake charmer uses rum remedy