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DAILY RECORD (Parsippany, New Jersey) 20 July 08 Alligators and snakes can't compare as pets to that faithful dog (Matt Manochio)
Word came down Tuesday that Parsippany animal control officers found a small alligator and a "very, very large snake" in an apartment. I immediately envisioned the animals belonging to some pallid-skinned "Magic: The Gathering" player with black, thick-rimmed glasses who hasn't been outside since 2004.
Fortunately, I was wrong; it was 2005. Actually, it turns out Dizzy the alligator and Hiss the 10-foot Burmese python belonged to a traveling road show of exotic, cold-blooded animals called Snakes-N-Scales and Turtle Tales, based in Wanaque. They tote around these critters to schools and camps for educational purposes. And according to its Web site, the animals it displays are rescued. Dizzy, for instance, got its name because a car rolled over one of its little legs, causing it to swim in a circle. So good for Snakes-N-Scales.
Apparently, an employee who'd just moved to Troy Hills Village left the two beasties in her apartment because she was en route to a bug show and didn't want to leave them in her car due to the heat. (You certainly don't want to roll your window down a crack for a python, especially if you're parked next to a car that has a window open to keep a puppy cool.)
So the animals weren't technically pets, and they're normally kept at Snakes-N-Scales headquarters.
But you know there are people out there who keep these types of creatures as pets, and I'll never understand that. Pets are defined as animals that provide companionship or amusement.
Dogs provide great companionship when they plop down next to you after a long day and rest their heads on your lap.
Cats are amusing because of the noises they make when you toss them into a bathtub full of water and then drop in a running hairdryer. (I'm kidding. Lighten up.)
Roger Harkavy, 36, of Morristown, used to own two corn snakes and a king snake, and at one time was on the editorial staff of the now-defunct Reptile & Amphibian magazine.
"For most people who keep them, I think the appeal of having reptiles and amphibians is very similar to having a nice aquarium -- the chance to own creatures from an exotic environment that have unusual habits or appearances that make them interesting to observe, and their small size makes it possible to do it in your home."
I can understand getting a couple of clown fish, but an alligator? Alligators are known for one thing: springing out of marshes and snapping off Floridians' heads. That's it. Nothing good can come of one of those at home. (Unless your next-door neighbor is a jerk who owns a swimming pool.)
"These animals almost always make horrible pets," Harkavy e-mailed me. "Caimans (small crocodiles) may look cute when they're young, but they grow up into full-size crocodiles (with bites to match), and even though I've seen some large pythons that are docile and even friendly, they get to be completely unmanageable, growing as thick as a man's leg and sometimes over 15 feet long."
My brother once bought me a carnivorous toad for Christmas. This thing did nothing but sit in its terrarium, eat baby mice and grow exponentially to resemble Marlon Brando from "Apocalypse Now." You couldn't exactly play with the toad because it would bite onto your fingers if they got too close. This was not a pet. It was a remorseless eater of small living things. I didn't even bother naming it and gave it away within a year.
I have nothing against exotic animals. But if you really want to be different and own a creature that nobody else has, then buy a Nubian vulture -- the kind you see in Africa picking on the zebra carcass.
They don't fly that far, so there's a good chance you could catch it if it gets away. And you won't have to worry about your neighbor leashing to a tree one of those yappy little froufrou dogs that wake you up every morning at 6. Just let the vulture outside and go back to bed.
Or, your could do the sensible thing and buy an obedient, faithful dog who'll come when you call it and plop down next to you after a hard day's work. They're not exactly exotic, but I'm naming my next bullmastiff Harvey, if it's a boy, and Daisy, if it's a girl. I can't wait.
Alligators and snakes can't compare as pets to that faithful dog

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