Your family whines because you won't let them eat the lizard's salad.
You rank grocery stores by the quality of the vegetables they carry.
You buy less frozen food for your family so all the frozen rodents will fit in the freezer.
Your in-laws know not to look in the bottom drawer of the freezer.
No one notices the frozen rat thawing on the counter.
You understand what the iguana wants by the look in its eyes.
You think that just about everything can be turned into a cage, cage furniture or feeding platform.
Your reptile cages are clean and spotless but the house is a total wreck.
Day dreams consist of snakes, turtles and lizards.
Your friend has a bug and rodent problem so they call you
You no longer think FaceBook is the best website because you've found ReptileChannel.com
Your herp has its own MySpace page and has more friends than you do
You try to lick your eyes like a crested gecko.
You decorate your room with plants and vines, then put your chameleon and red-eyed treefrog in it.
You assure visitors that you don't have a "problem," that it is just a member of your free-range roach colony. (They weren't supposed to be able to breed!)
You must determine the species of every reptile you see in movies, TV shows and magazines.
You cannot go on a vacation without stopping at a pet store with reptiles, or else you will suffer from "reptile deprivation."
You call your reptiles your babies, but not your kids.
You are afraid of getting bit by your child's hampster, but being bit by a snake doesn't phase you.
People commonly refer to you as "the crazy reptile lady" or "the crazy reptile guy."
You wear a heart-shaped locket around your neck with pictures of your reptiles inside.
House guests will never come inside your house because of all of the reptiles.
You set your alarm clock for the midnight, so you can wake up and watch your reptiles at their time of day.
Your house and car have multiple reptile decorations.
You see a rabbit outside and you wonder if it would be small enough for your snake.
You are having a bad day and a friend can say the word "reptiles" and cheer you up.
You are a rich, well invested adult, but drive a beat up car, because all the money goes to the reptiles.
You get highly offended whenever someone says worms and snakes are the practically the exact same.
You buy your three-year-old nephew reptile books for his birthday.
It's a compliment when people say your house is a zoo.
People pay to come in your house and see your reptiles instead of going to the city zoo.
Everyone else's one-liners sound exactly like you!
Happy Holidays everyone!
Brian
