Reptile & Amphibian Forums

I can guess some of you out there have dealt with the problem that is stumping me so I'd love some feedback on how anyone came to a solution:
PROBLEM: My family just got it's first snake (A Snow bullsnake) about 2 months ago and not only have several friends made it clear that they would not be visiting but my mother (I'm 32)also won't come into the house due to religious reasons (The whole Genesis snake thingy) and my father just disclosed his terror of snakes that he developed in Vietnam and he has also decided not to enter the house. My parents used to come over at least weekly and now they come by and stand in the carport. We have offered to put her (our snake Ka) in a seperate enclosure 2 rooms away from the living area when company comes over but apparently that is not enough. We will not get rid of Ka so the thing seems unsolvable but to salvage my relationships I figured I'd ask the experts if I'm missing some solution that has worked for them. Any and all advice welcome.

Thanks,
Ron

Hi,

You have posed a very good question. The fear/ ignorance of the animal run deep in many people. I believe IMO this fear is communicated and nurtured inmost homes that snakes are dangerous and bad. Also exaggerations (stories) of this animal have left it with a bad name. To try and unhinge and dispel this fear could take many years for some/most. Unfortunately not reversible in many cases.

It seems that most oppose any attempt at education of this animal. And will refuse to enter your home. Sound familiar. For as many years as some people have been taught to fear snakes I would not expect any quick changes in acceptance.

Education of the animal has worked for me with some people. Always remember that your fascination and interest with snakes could be someone else’s worst nightmare.

Good luck and welcome to the ownership of an animal not excepted by many.

For me, in some cases, it's a benefit. My Mother-in-law won't come to my house. That's not a bad thing.

I have found that if you can convince them to come in "just for a second to look" at how and where the animal is housed, sometimes it puts their mind at ease. Especially if the snake is in a room where they don't have to see the animal or the cage while they are visiting. I have found that it is never a good idea to display a snake in the living room. It tends to stress the animal more that necessary because of the volume of human traffic, and it is just not fair to people that may want to visit but have a fear of snakes.

You cannot overcome someone else's fear of snakes by exposing them to the snake. You can help them overcome their own fear by allowing gradual exposure over a period of time, but they have to be willing. The best thing is to keep the animal in a place where you can enjoy it when you want to, but they don't have to. And, it is not necessary to let everyone that comes into your house know that you have snakes.

It works at my houes also. Hmmm!

Wish it worked in my house, Maybe i should tell her their deadly? Yea deadly bulls, corns, and greentrees that will work!

Don't forget about the fearsome "Brattlers" (Bullsnake/Rattlesnake hybrids).

My parents used to come over at least weekly and now they come by and stand in the carport.

I think we can agree that this sort of fear is irrational (since the snake poses no threat to them). If you had a giant angry wasp nest in your living room or an attack dog, their behavior could be justified as rational, but not in this case (IMHO).

One could argue that you are enabling their irrational fear by agreeing to meet with them in the carport. Maybe it's time they faced these fears? They are in no danger (we aren't asking them to face down hungry lions!).

If the only the way they could spend time with you was to enter your home because you refused to reinforce their fears by sitting outside, you might find the would acquiesce and learn to tolerate the animal over time. I would still offer to keep it in another room, but sitting outside is ridiculous, IMHO.
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Chris Harrison

I agree 100% with Chris! There is no way that I would meet someone outside of my house if I had a snake in one of our bedrooms (my hubby is back and forth on the snake issue, but we have agreed that when I do get one, it will stay in my oldest son's bedroom). It is my house and no one is going to force me to do anything that I disagree with. There is no reason whatsoever, I don't give (ahem) what kind of story is behind their fears (btw...my brother and I are Christians and we don't and never have feared snakes, even w/the Genesis story, which is a story of evil, not of snakes---hey, is it just me or hasn't the devil also made appearances as humans--it's not the reptiles' fault if he choose their form to approach Eve). If my folks want to see me then can come into my house. If they don't want to come into my house, then I suppose they don't want to see me bad enough. If they choose to hurt their relationship with you over a snake (especially if it is kept out of their view) then that's their problem!

Sorry for being so abrupt, I'm sure you will be more kind when making your feelings known to your folks, but seriously, this is highly irrational behaviour and it is wrong of them to expect you to understand and force you out of your home if they come by. As far as the whole Genesis thing goes, if someone uses that lame excuse to rationalize their irrational fear of snakes tell them this:

The devil is a supernatural being, an archangel, that can take any form, he was not created as a lizard or a snake, therefore to say that snakes are evil because of the story in Genesis is FALSE! As a matter of fact, he would've taken on a form that Eve would have been willing to TRUST (which he chose a reptile), after all it was her and Adam's business to care for all of the creatures in the Garden. The fact that she so willingly talked to and trusted a reptile shows that they were not created evil, and by nature, are not evil.

Anyhow, I've rambled on long enough. Good luck with it!
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~redmom~
My Email

I think he takes the form of a human a lot more often that he does the form of a reptile...evil is much more common from humans.

LOL...I'll second that! As Steve Irwin once said, he'd rather tangle with a taipan than some humans he knows (being that some men/women are the true monsters, not snakes, of course).
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~redmom~
My Email

Even more so since snakes can not reason enough to even know hatred or evil lol. Some people need to go retake biology and understand they can not attribute human characertistics to animals. My $.02

Andy
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Andy Maddox
Houston Herp Key
The Reptizone

Who are you who can say it's ok to live through me? Alice In Chains

>>One could argue that you are enabling their irrational fear ...

Absolutely.

>>If the only the way they could spend time with you was to enter your home because you refused to reinforce their fears by sitting outside, you might find the would acquiesce and learn to tolerate the animal over time. I would still offer to keep it in another room, but sitting outside is ridiculous, IMHO.

It seems to me, that the parents are still trying to control their offspring, by insisting on conformation to their requirements. Irrationality knows no bounds, and catering to only conveys to them that you acknowledge that their fears/demands have some validity. If they don't, and if you know they don't, then don't buy into their absurd game.

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tricia

Patience and persistance should be your watchwords.... My grandmother is almost the same way.. she hates snakes... mostly because of fear.. not because of religious problems however. Its taken me 3 years to get her to even let me take the snake out of its enclosure around her.. but she allows it now.. She'll look at him.. won't touch him yet.. but its progress... It also helps that Sutekh has never once struck at anything but food... *shrugs* Time and knowledge are your two best weapons...
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Lucien

1.0 Columbian Redtail Boa (BCI)
3.1 Leopard geckos (2 Blizzard and 2 het Blizzard)
0.1 Savannah Monitor
13 rats
12 Gerbils
2 Dogs
3 cats
1 Albino Corey (fish)

>>PROBLEM: My family just got it's first snake (A Snow bullsnake) about 2 months ago and not only have several friends made it clear that they would not be visiting but my mother (I'm 32)also won't come into the house due to religious reasons (The whole Genesis snake thingy) and my father just disclosed his terror of snakes that he developed in Vietnam and he has also decided not to enter the house.

"And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life."
Genesis 3:3

So...for tempting Eve, God cursed the "serpent" to crawl on it's belly...therefore the serpent was not a snake, but a lizard or a dragon or somesuch when it tempted Eve. Though you could reasonably conclude from this passage that God turned him into a snake I guess.
Tell your friends to watch those green anoles, they're REALLY evil.
You might also try pointing out that Genesis talks about *A* serpent, not *ALL* serpents. So it's pretty silly to extend a story about one serpent to all of them unless they're willing to admit/accept that Genesis was not meant to be taken literally at which point the whole argument becomes pretty silly.

As far as your dad, I'm not sure what to tell you. I get a lot of Vietnam vets in the snake room where I volunteer who remember the stories they heard about snakes that attack from the trees and kill you before you can take another step. I can only suggest that you ask him to take a minute and think honestly about the people that told him this and whether he believes they knew anything whatsoever about snakes. Ask him if he still thinks the VC could see in the dark.
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Larry D. Fishel
Side effects may include paralysis
and death but are generally mild.

Tell your parents it is usually very amenable to treatment, but they have to want to overcome it.

I have been married for 15 years to a very tolerant woman. I have had several snakes as well as many lizard and amphibian rehabs. Right not we only snake we have is a ball python (she belongs to my herp crazed 5 year old daughter). My wife made it clear to me early on that while she tolerates most of the other critters, SHE DOES NOT LIKE SNAKES. I do not try to get her to like them. I know that there are some things that are so ingrained that trying to change them will only alienate that person. The best I have done is, Like another member stated, show her that the enclosure that the snake is housed is completely secure (and then some). The best you can do, if you insist on keeping the snake, is show the person that you are willing to go that extra mile to prevent any accidental contact. But unfortunately, some people will resent the fact that you wouldn't bow down to their wishes and chose "that nasty animal" over them. I've been lucky. I've had herps my entire life. Anybody who knows me, knows that to come into my house means to enter a herptarium. Usually, the first thing they ask is "what kind of lost critter did you take in this time?". My mother got used to having snakes crawling through the house when I was very young (and inexperienced at housing herps) but she still won't hold one. I hope your relatives are as understanding as the people in my life and they come to accept your new housemate. If not, you may have to make the worst of choices.
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