Reptile & Amphibian Forums

How do I convince my gf to let me get another snake? I just got a 2008 het albino male, and want to get a female to breed him with. I'm going to the reptile show on L.I next week. I want to get another one, but I know I'll have to walk through the gates of hell to do so. Any suggestions?

find a new girlfriend, hey, it's your money man, as long as you aren't asking her to take care of it what the hell should she care?
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1.0 Het Albino Burm
1.1 Mojave Ball Pythons
0.1 Normal Ball Python
1.0 Albino Ball Python
1.1 Pastel Ball Pythons
0.1 Spider Ball Python
0.2 Het Albino Ball Pythons
0.1 Lavender Albino Retic

Seeking bigger cages for the family

I agree. If you're a kid living at home, ask your mom. If you're married, ask your wife (if you want). If you're renting, ask your landlord. But you should never have to ask your girlfriend. Is it her place, or something?

Couldn't have said it better.

Agreed with all posts above... and I'M THE GIRL IN THE RELATIONSHIP. A few people on here know us, and Frank's my partner in our Snake Madness... and its wayyy more fun that way. If he wasn't into it, or vice versa, I don't think it would ever work!! LoL!!
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Cheers!
• Chelsea Lynn Gardiner
(and Frank M. Wood)

It is better to ask forgiveness than permission! That is how I got most of my new snakes.
Trey

EXACTLY what I did. My girlfriend and I went to the show....My intentions were to find my first ball python..hers? just to look at all the cool animals. I bought it, she got mad, she got over it, and now she loves him!!! I asked forgiveness not permission...WELL PUT!!

I guess it would entirely depend on your relationship and why you would think you'd have to walk through the gates of hell to get a new snake? Is it just that she doesn't like snakes (or the one that you have) or have you discussed getting more and she is adamantly against it? If one more is that big of an issue where are you going to be when you start breeding and there are more?
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Tosha
JET Pythons
Toshas Blog

I learned many years ago, that if something is REALLY important to me (like my animals), that I had better marry somebody who shares at least part of my interests. Back when I was single, I knew way too many people who did not share important interests, and who seemed like they spent A LOT of time and energy fighting about who got to do (or buy, or keep, or whatever)their particular interest required.

If reptiles are a major interest for you, it is important to figure out how that will work into your lives now, before possible marriage. Will it be a major bone of contention FOREVER? Better to know that now, rather than later.

If it is just one of many interests for you, then it is still important to figure out to negotiate with a future mate so that both of you get most of what is really important to each of you. Whenever something seems REALLY important to her, you have to "give in", and vice versa. If you can't both make that happen, then it is good to find it out now, instead of after marriage and kids. I think that good negotiation skills, and the willingness of both parties to compromise, might be one of the most important assets to make a long term relationship work out happily.

Good luck!

Great post Kathy...

I definitely agree. I wasn't trying to be mean in my first post, but if your relationship is going to work and she is offended/scared of snakes and this is one of your hobbies then she will either have to accept and deal with it or it just isn't going to work.

My girlfriend lives with me and she LOVES animals. It took her a few years to come around to love the snake, but after she took him out for a bit she loved him and got her own ball python. This followed by me buying about 12 more I'm pushing her hard on a rat barn idea but she isn't budging, lol....
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1.0 Het Albino Burm
1.1 Mojave Ball Pythons
0.1 Normal Ball Python
1.0 Albino Ball Python
1.1 Pastel Ball Pythons
0.1 Spider Ball Python
0.2 Het Albino Ball Pythons
0.1 Lavender Albino Retic

Seeking bigger cages for the family

It took her a few years to come around to love the snake, but after she took him out for a bit she loved him

Almost the same exact expeience. It just didn't quit take that long!

Sit down with her and look at pictures of morphs together, trying not to stress what you want but ask her what she thinks of this pattern or that. Let her see all kinds of morphs not just the ones you like, and ask her to make a list of the ones she likes. Then take her list and explain what makes the morphs she likes (for example if she likes a bumble bee explain that it is the mix of the spider to pastel). Teach her, and then talk about breeding idea with the morphs that both of you like set in mind as goal (if you don't agree put hers first, even if your albinos need to sit on the back burner a few years).

If she is declining the buy because of finances, be patient and wait.

If you really love your girl friend, then you have to stop thinking about what do I want... but rather what do she want. If you really want her in your world you need to keep her in your world, not just make a move for yourself. If you look at divorces across America today a lot of it has to do with partners putting themselves first and forgetting the other person.

My wife and I talk about every morph before we buy one and knowing that my wife is just as excited to see what the combination will look like out of those eggs makes me even more thrilling for me.

To steal a quote from the movie Fireproof
"Never leave your partner behind"

Also I know this may be a little deep for a dating couple but if your dating Marriage should be what you are heading for (if not whats the point),but if your relationship is really hitting hard ends, and you want out, Do it before you get to the Alter.

Matt

Tell us why she doesn't want, and may be we can help.

If you live together and share the expenses etc... may be she is right, you both have to decide on it.

For that, me and my GF pay everything together. Rent, food etc... and the extra money that we both personnaly make are going for our own personnel expense. Snake being one of mine.

If it's cause she knows that you won't have enough money, she is also right.

If it's cause she hate them etc... then you should talk with her and come to an agreement.
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love this world, don't hate it.

I appreciate everyone's input. My GF and I have a great relationship. She pretty much lets me do what I want, and had no problems with me getting my first ball. I think her concern right now is space, as we live in a small studio. She also has this idea that if I start breeding in afew years, there will be snakes all over the place. Maybe I shouldnt have showed her some of those RDR videos!

Glad she's not opposed to snakes altogether. If it's just a space issue, then that's something you can work on.

Have you thought about a rack system? There's a lot to chose from, and even a small one could hold a breeding pair and their babies.

Also, it might help to explain to her that if you get an '08 or '09 female it could take 2-3 years to get her up to breeding size... plenty of time to make room. And even then a 1st clutch could only be 4-6 eggs, if everything goes well, these guys don't have huge clutches like burms.

Best of luck,

Allison

easier?....

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..JY

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Unless you are living together I don't see why she needs to be consulted. But it certainly won't hurt the 'negotiations' if you take her out or cook her a nice dinner, some dancing or movie, a long gentle massage (or rough if she's into a more vigorous experience). Then while she is relaxed and content, you can mention your male snake needs a girlfriend.
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PHLdyPayne