Reptile & Amphibian Forums

To have support from all of you (you know who you are) really
makes my heart melt knowing that I am not going through this
alone. Thank you for all who has taken enough time to care about
my situation. There is nothing I can do but just thank you guys
for everything and truely hope I can meet each and every one of
you in person. Thanks
-----
Kenny Bowman

"Symetry Exotics"
Honesty is the only route to TRUE respect, anything else is unacceptable....

Kenny,
While we have never met in person and may never meet in person, I want you to know that you have my full support. Anything that is within my capacity to do, I will. I'm not the richest man in the world, but at the very least I can provide a non-judgmental ear for you to vent to. As far as I'm concerned there is no "upper limit" of support that I'm willing to give, I have no idea what I would have to offer, but if it's mine, you can consider it yours.

The mother of my first child had a boy about a year before her and I began dating. I had known her for a couple years before that and knew that the father of this boy had pretty much abandoned them mostly because of the medical problems he was born with. I was essentially the only father this child had ever know and I was happy to call him son.

Before Tristan was born we knew that he had Spina Bifida (which is when the spine is exposed... the skin never sealed around his spine). This condition can be extreme to the point that the person afflicted with it can be paralyzed. The doctors told us that he would never walk. It took Tristan longer than it does most kids, but utilizing a walker and leg splints he eventually learned to walk.

By the time he was two and a half we knew that there was something else not quite right with him. He had frequent, quarterly, doctor exams that we not only expensive but also could take a day or more each. The testing was always a stressful thing for everyone and usually I stayed in the room with him, whether it was x-rays, a blood draw, or some of the other, more invasive, tests that needed to be performed the agreement with the doctors was that I would ALWAYS be able to be in the room and within physical contact with Tristan (even during some of the surgeries). It calmed him down and made his mother feel better knowing that someone was there with him. She always came to the appointments too, but was often unable to go into the testing rooms because she would break down anytime they performed a test that would cause pain (which was often).

When he was two and a half the doctors finally were able to give him a diagnosis of Autism. Due to his physical afflictions Tristan will never be continent (be able to control either his bowel or bladder), he has multiple large scars on his back, a shunt in his head (to drain away excess spinal fluid that would otherwise put pressure on his brain) and been diagnosed with Autism. He had been through a lot in his short life up until then and at the time I had no one to talk to or lean on. Eventually his mother and I split (after having a child together, Tristan's younger brother). During the time I was with her, though, I had to be the strong one and she had both me and her family to help her.

I know what it's like to be up against impossible odds and to see a small child you love dearly suffer. I know what it's like to wonder why someone so small should be tested in such a big way. I discovered that some of life's questions don't have an answer and even if there is some sort of reason - we (as mere men) will never learn the answers in this life time. The best we can do is to band together, take care of each other to the best of our abilities and pray. I have no idea how Jesus prayed so hard that he sweat blood, but I do know what it is like to pray and beg with every fiber of your soul.

There were a few times that Tristan's life was on a delicate balance. I've been there, brother, I know what it is like not knowing.

I'm here if you need me, you have my prayers and like I said, anything that is within my power to do or provide is yours for the asking.

Here for you,
Brandon Sander
sander.brandon@gmail.com
brandon.sander@mnsu.edu
507-276-4296 (Central Time... I'm a night owl, usually up until 3 or 4 a.m. so don't hesitate to call, even if it is "late" If I don't answer, leave a message and let me know the best time to call back, I'll bend over backwards to return your call. Call for anything, even if it is just to cuss someone out for an hour or so, - don't feel bad about it, I've been there, and understand the emotions.
-----
.
.
.
.
Stay United!

"...I say 'apparently' because despite all our progress she is not at all a tame or handle-able snake and gettting her from that cage would re-start a war.. and we've had a good armistice for several months now."-Gus Rentfro - I love this quote!

I meant for that to be a private email... guess I hit the wrong button. Either way, I meant every word I wrote.
-----
.
.
.
.
Stay United!

"...I say 'apparently' because despite all our progress she is not at all a tame or handle-able snake and gettting her from that cage would re-start a war.. and we've had a good armistice for several months now."-Gus Rentfro - I love this quote!

I am pretty sure I will call at some point, the things you said
reminds me of a 'wiseman'. Just full of Honor and Loyalty to
someone you do not know, you just care. Thank you very much for
your kind heart, it is obvious because you spent about an hour
writing that. Im in Oregon

Your words are Gold Brother
-----
Kenny Bowman

"Symetry Exotics"
Honesty is the only route to TRUE respect, anything else is unacceptable....

I hope things are going well...I am sure you all will be relieved when Tuesday has come and gone.

Take advantage of the support that has been "sent" to you.
-----
Joel Thomas

Don't tread on me!

.
-----
Kenny Bowman

"Symetry Exotics"
Honesty is the only route to TRUE respect, anything else is unacceptable....

I can always maintain in emergencies or when I am needed to be the strong one but after all is said and done some times a good cry is in order

Brandon that is a touching story that has given me a lot of respect for you...you are one of the great ones, to take time and offer emotional support for a beautiful child in need speaks a lot about your character....especially since it is not your child!

My heart goes out to all the children with any afflictions and to the strong people in their lives that help them through.

The ones that hurt can give so much....you are a MAN Brandon!
-----
Joel Thomas

Don't tread on me!

You are one fine character. I am sure glad I met you
-----
Kenny Bowman

"Symetry Exotics"
Honesty is the only route to TRUE respect, anything else is unacceptable....

Begin to imagine what you are going though, as I have said many many times before, No Thanks are needed bro. What are friends for if they can't be there for a friend! Hope all is going well and I shall talk to ya soon.

Eric Baker

Your one of my best 'Dogs" bro AND DONT YOU FORGET THAT!
Do you hear that Eric?
Coming............
Coming............

THANKS ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!
Got to leave now, Tia had me go to the store before hand.....
Figures......!

Dont you love going to the In Laws Family Reunion? I DONT. 100%
Honest, that is the only route to true respect... but I still
dont want to go lol!! I will call you later on tonight
-----
Kenny Bowman

"Symetry Exotics"
Honesty is the only route to TRUE respect, anything else is unacceptable....