Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Certain advice has been posted on this forum (Lonny) about how to get you wife to like toads. I tried this with my amorous male toad spud. Spud performed on queue hugging her ring and middle fingers. It went well for 30 seconds or so and spud started doing the pulsing and heavy breathing thing male toads do. My wife didn’t care for this. My “filthy little beast” and I were been banished to the garage. I have since been allowed back in the house but the toad has not.
Other phrases that were said during this incident were:
“Where did you find him?”
“Where did I find you?”

And my favorite:
“What the hell is wrong with you” referring to me and not the toad.

Perhaps next time, if there is such a thing, the encounter will be much shorter.

Thus explains why I am now with my second wife.
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How to get your wife to like toads; 1.Get a male toad. 2.Get him to hug your wifes wrist (amplexus). 3. Tickle him so he chirps in protest. 4.Say "Awww, he likes you". Note; Make sure he pees first or you may receive bodily harm during this procedure.

Oh my, thats funny!!! Thanks for the chuckle.

You poor men and the women who don't "get" you. LOL
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Heather

After getting the proverbial “expressed written permission” to bring the defendant (AKA the toad, or Spud) back in the house due to cold temperatures, it is not a good thing to hold the toad and sympathetically say, “I feel your pain”. I have felt much pain since this incident started. Our (more like my wife’s now) female toad, Buffy, has received much pampering from the wife. She will be getting her own 20 gal tank soon. Spud will be living in a shoebox under a bridge, right next to me.

Man, this homeless thing really brings me down. Tell Spud I have a nice tank he can share with a young female.
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How to get your wife to like toads; 1.Get a male toad. 2.Get him to hug your wifes wrist (amplexus). 3. Tickle him so he chirps in protest. 4.Say "Awww, he likes you". Note; Make sure he pees first or you may receive bodily harm during this procedure.

Aaaaww!!! Poor Spud!!! And poor you! Tell that wife of yours that she needs to share! You need "His and Her's" tanks! Sure, her tank may need to be a little larger because she'll be bigger than Spud. But poor Spud shouldn't be left out!

Personally, I prefer male amphibians... they don't get as large, they seem to be(just in my experiance)more mellow.. and they sing!!!

Good luck to you and Spud!!!

(BTW your posts just kill me with laughter!)
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Heather

I had an injured male Cane toad for a while. I knew when he was getting better because he "burped" one night. I had him in an aquarium in my bedroom so I could keep an eye on him. The "burp" woke me up (about 2am). I didn't know what it was at first, then he did it again. Happy that he was making progress, I went back to sleep. The next night, he "burped" again at about 2am and woke me up. I thought it was kinda cute, even though it interrupted my sleep. Each night the "burps" became longer and more frequent untill I finally decided he was well enough to get his own room (the basement). Soon our Bufosaurus was "burping","growling","humming" and out right "howling" at every noise in the house. Run the vacuum, Brrrrr. Walk up creaky stairs, Brrrrrrr. Flush the toilet, Brrrrr. Fart in your sleep, "burp" "burp" "burp" (at least I found out why he was "burping" at 2am), of course, I blamed that one on my wife. We decided that our patient was well enough to be returned to the wild and let him go. To this day, every time my wife farts in her sleep, I expect to hear the cute little "burp". I miss him. Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't get soggy, I gotta go.
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How to get your wife to like toads; 1.Get a male toad. 2.Get him to hug your wifes wrist (amplexus). 3. Tickle him so he chirps in protest. 4.Say "Awww, he likes you". Note; Make sure he pees first or you may receive bodily harm during this procedure.

Actually, the previous post should have been titled "singing cane toad". Sorry.
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How to get your wife to like toads; 1.Get a male toad. 2.Get him to hug your wifes wrist (amplexus). 3. Tickle him so he chirps in protest. 4.Say "Awww, he likes you". Note; Make sure he pees first or you may receive bodily harm during this procedure.