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From The Onion:

tragic python accident could have been avoided

If it wasn't so tragic and terrible in so many ways it almost seems to have a surreal Saturday nite live parody/skit quality to it. Who couldn't have seen that coming? Um DYFS? Hello....

I would think that even with reptile hobbyists as jurors (peers) there is a good chance they would be convicted of manslaughter or reckless endangerment if authorities decide to go to trial.

It's OK, the chinese government took the Onion seriously a time or two as well. Great cultural confusion
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We wouldn't have 6 and a half billion people if you had to be beautiful to get laid.
6.6 African House snakes
3.2 reticulated pythons
.1 corn snake
4.2 Florida Kings
1.2 speckled kings
1.2 ball pythons
0.0.1 Argentine boa

you can't possibly think that's for real, can you?
:Mark
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Surrender Dorothy!

crimsonking.piczo.com/

My bad. OK, I can be a dope sometimes.( Like ya'll didn't already know that.)

hehehe...I figured as much really..

:Mark
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Surrender Dorothy!

crimsonking.piczo.com/

>>From The Onion:
>>
>>
>>tragic python accident could have been avoided

The onion......satire. Sick, but satire.

Sides, I would love to see any 20 snake that could actually ingest a kid bigger than an infant. Kill maybe....eat, nah!
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Sonya

I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.
Happy Bunny

np

>>>>From The Onion:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>tragic python accident could have been avoided
>>
>>The onion......satire. Sick, but satire.
>>
>>Sides, I would love to see any 20 snake that could actually ingest a kid bigger than an infant. Kill maybe....eat, nah!
>>-----
>>Sonya
>>
>>I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.
>>Happy Bunny

Then you've never seen a 20' snake. I've taken care of a few 20' retics in my time and they could easily eat a small adult. These snakes were as big around as a telephone pole and were up to 195 lbs. An infant to a 20' adult would be like a hatchling retic eating a pinky or fuzzy.
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www.brandonosbornereptiles.com

>>>>>>From The Onion:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>tragic python accident could have been avoided
>>>>
>>>>The onion......satire. Sick, but satire.
>>>>
>>>>Sides, I would love to see any 20 snake that could actually ingest a kid bigger than an infant. Kill maybe....eat, nah!
>>>>-----
>>>>Sonya
>>>>
>>>>I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.
>>>>Happy Bunny
>>
>>Then you've never seen a 20' snake. I've taken care of a few 20' retics in my time and they could easily eat a small adult. These snakes were as big around as a telephone pole and were up to 195 lbs. An infant to a 20' adult would be like a hatchling retic eating a pinky or fuzzy.
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>>www.brandonosbornereptiles.com

I have handled 20ft burms and none were obese as so many are nor did they seem to have a jaw likely to distend around a kids shoulders. (though knew of one eating the owners dog) Possible.....who knows. Stupid to advertise or joke about the possibility if you ask me, given the legal environments. 'course 'giants' are illegal here in NY now.
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Sonya

I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.
Happy Bunny

I've also handled some big burms. Never seen an actual 20' in person although I've seen some that claimed to be. None of the retics I worked with were obese in the sense. We fed them three 8-10 lb. rabbit a week and you couldn't even tell they had eaten. As far as I can remember the original breeder, who is one of the most well-known breeders in the world, was feeding them goats and pigs. I'm not "advertising" the danger of these snakes, but it should be made known, they are not to be treated like a ball python. A 20' snake IS capable of eating a person, and would make a snack out of an infant or a toddler.

On a side note, I don't agree with the spoof created by the onion. Some people take this crap seriously and it makes all snake keepers look bad.
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www.brandonosbornereptiles.com

Hi Sonya,

I'm gonna have to agree with Brandon on this one. I've seen a 20 foot burm, and while it may have matched 20' retics in length, proportionally the retics were much larger and more powerful in all other respects. The monster retics that I have seen at Tom Crutchfield's ('95) and NERD's place ('97,'02) scard me. AT Kevin's (NERD) joint in '97, a nearly 20' calico retic hit the glass of a giant Neodesha in a full feeding response directed at a petite female associate standing next to me. If that snake wasn't hindered by glass, he (likely a she actually), would have killed and swallowed her with little difficulty. While there is inherent risk in keeping any powerful animal (horse, dog, retic) responsible keepers should not have that right taken from them. All of these animals can be worked with safely, obviously the conditions in which the composite snake was kept were not safe, or responsible. I just hope folks realize how silly that spoof really was and don't take it too seriously.

Will

Maybe. I think it's worse to act like it isn't a possibility though. I mean, we accept some degree of risk when keeping giants/hots. We try to minimize them (at least I do, constriction does not sound like a good way to die)...but they're still present.
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We wouldn't have 6 and a half billion people if you had to be beautiful to get laid.
6.6 African House snakes
3.2 reticulated pythons
.1 corn snake
4.2 Florida Kings
1.2 speckled kings
1.2 ball pythons
0.0.1 Argentine boa

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Infants are like 6-9 pounds...I feed my juvy, 10' retics 4 lb rabbits. I have no doubt a large adult in the 16 foot range can eat a kid. Hell, the breeder I got them from feeds small goats to his bigger adults...I'll try to get a picture of me with Citrus tonight so you can see her size...she's an early 09, and around 10'...don't know the weight, but a 4 lb rabbit makes a minor lump.
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We wouldn't have 6 and a half billion people if you had to be beautiful to get laid.
6.6 African House snakes
3.2 reticulated pythons
.1 corn snake
4.2 Florida Kings
1.2 speckled kings
1.2 ball pythons
0.0.1 Argentine boa

I think I'll try that.
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Mark

"If only I had checked on them before I went shopping and to the movies."

"No it's not your fault. You can't think that way."
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www.hcu-tx.org/

"Just love your kids everyday...Because you never know when god is going to invite them up to heaven through your snake"

"That's a great lesson"

I think satire is good...it makes people stop, pull their heads out of their rear-ends and think about what they're listening to.
Plus, if Americans get good enough at it (thinking) glen beck might go back to being an alcoholic and leave my TV and radio alone!
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0.1 Ball Python (Bea)
1.1 Corn - Male Butter (Butters), Female Normal (Rusty)
1.0 Rosy (Pumkin)
1.1 Checkered Garter (Cracker & Tweek)
1.0 Mexican Black Kingsnake (Gooch)
0.0.1 Knoblachi King Snake (Sparky)
0.1 Bullsnake - Het for white sided (June)

This is in incredibly bad taste for comedy.

To address the real possibility of a small child being killed by a large snake, we have already read of such recent tragedies. But for this snake to actually get it's mouth around this particular sized child and swallow him would in my opinion be impossible, even if left alone for days instead of minutes to complete the task.

>>This is in incredibly bad taste for comedy.
>>
>>To address the real possibility of a small child being killed by a large snake, we have already read of such recent tragedies. But for this snake to actually get it's mouth around this particular sized child and swallow him would in my opinion be impossible, even if left alone for days instead of minutes to complete the task.

Bad taste, good pun!

>>Bad taste, good pun!

Had to be said!

Is this real? Looks like a load of crap to me!
Jeff

I just saw the first 10 second or so and thought it was another tragedy and another stupid talk show..........

Yes, it portrays snake owners in a terrible light. Yes, the message it puts out is ghastly, but it was soooo over the top, im not positive the right word, Parody? It was obvious to me that it was a joke and me and my kids cracked up numerous times. ....Dave.

yeah, I laught my butt off. But I like the Onion. Cynical and snarkY
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We wouldn't have 6 and a half billion people if you had to be beautiful to get laid.
6.6 African House snakes
3.2 reticulated pythons
.1 corn snake
4.2 Florida Kings
1.2 speckled kings
1.2 ball pythons
0.0.1 Argentine boa

What do u mean its not real? I just donated money for a therapy python for Zacks sister!!