Finally, someone doing some research before acquiring an animal. That's certainly a breath of fresh air. Kudos, sir.
Sav specific care sheets I like, personally, are on savannahmonitor.org, and Bamboozoo.weebly.com. Varanus.net, in the Captive FAQ, also has a general care sheet guideline that can apply to savs as well.
As for getting a monitor because your son wants one, don't do it. However, if YOU want one for your own personal enjoyment, then continue researching and researching and researching until you decide you really do actually want one. These lizards, if given proper care, can live for a long time. At the ripe old age of ten, your son has yet to develop a real social life. He has yet to find a significant other. He has yet to deal with high school sports teams and extra curricular activities. Not to mention college and employment. If you're not getting this lizard for your own purposes, it will be nothing more than a burden and an obligation for you if your son loses interest, which is most often the case.
Consider these facts:
These lizards can exceed lengths of up to four feet. No tabletop enclosure is going to suffice for long. They need custom-built enclosures; not fish tanks, or hamster cages, or screened terrariums. The materials can be costly, especially when you get to building his adult enclosure (which you should be planning and thinking about before you acquire a lizard). An 8'x4'x4' enclosure is the absolute MINIMUM for an adult. Even a juvenile will utilize every inch of that enclosure if given the chance. Do you have space to accommodate something that size or larger?
Savs are built for burrowing. Their enclosure must allow for this. Any of the care sheets listed will get into further detail, but they should always have access to dirt.
These lizards are not like snakes. They require small feedings very often. I feed mine twice daily. Are you willing to go out and buy whole food prey items every day or keep yet another container for raising your own live food? The first two sites I listed above have lists of prey items.
Water must be changed daily. They need something large enough to soak their entire body in, which even for a juvenile requires a good amount of water. It's a huge pain. The enclosure will also need upkeep.
It takes me about two hours a day to care for my savannah. We have a specific routine in the morning, afternoon, and night. How you care for yours is totally up to you, but my particular routine goes like this (it's a bit excessive):
Morning: Check temps, humidity, equipment. Remove water basin from enclosure, bring to bathroom, dump water, lightly scrub inside, refill, return to enclosure. Spot clean excrement.
Lure Sav up my arm and carry to a large area for training purposes. For her entire feeding, I make her work. She gets food for walking up to me or for following a "target." I make her climb and run for exercise. She will get food from tongs or I'll toss a live feeder for her to chase, which she loves. After watching some of MDFMonitor's youtube videos, I now have her mount my hand or climb my pant leg, as well. All this provides her with exercise, mental stimulation, and reinforcement that I am a good thing to be around.
Afternoon: She eats a second meal with the same routine as above.Afterwards, I'll sit in my room with her and let her roam if she chooses to leave her enclosure. Usually she'll explore for a little while then wander back in.
Night: I check all the temps, humidity levels, and equipment.
If after all this you decide you want one, here are the answers to your questions:
Taming: Browse the forums for a post titled "Need help taming monitor" That has a lot of information regarding this topic.
At the expo, most, if not all, of these lizards will be wild caught. If you find a cute little hatchling that is super sweet and easily accepts handling, walk away. You want the most lively lizard there, which probably means the one you can't go near because he's hissing and tail whipping and trying to bite. Don't worry, this is normal (see taming post). Also, your lizard should appear alert with clear eyes, clear nose, clear vent area and appear well hydrated (skin that doesn't tent or look pinched) and well fed (nice full tail base).
I'm under the impression that until your lizard lays eggs, you'll never really know. If you catch him going to the bathroom and he everts his hemipenes, than yes, he's a male.
Your dog or cat, just like you, will most likely be viewed as a predator. When he's full grown, your very small dog or cat might look appealing as a snack. Then again, I've seen videos of them co-existing. I guess it all depends on your monitor, your dog, and your cat. I wouldn't let my dogs near my girl because they would think she was prey.
I hope this huge rant helps.
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