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Un-bonding and my choice

Tony D Jun 06, 2012 11:02 AM

The subject of how to improve the condition and lives of our charges should be something we're all interested in. That the same players time and time again fail to reframe from antagonistic posts is beyond disheartening. Its gotten to the point that any involvement, no matter how well intentioned, just seems to feed the monster. I'd like to think that one could meaningfully contribute here but after so many attempts with the same results continuing would only be evidence of insanity.

If any of you wish to have meaningful and respectful debate you know where to reach me but I can no longer afford to participate in "community" that is so broadly viewed as negative.
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“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.” Emmerson

WWW.TDSNAKES.BLOGSPOT.COM

Replies (18)

BobS Jun 06, 2012 01:06 PM

You are one of a number of nice decent folks who gets trampled by huge obnoxious egos that have no personal insight as to how they come across to others and probably worse yet, don't care even if they do.

Spirited debate amongst guys is one thing. The stuff that goes on here is just totally bizarre, not unlike a Twilight Zone episode where the biggest offenders try to paint themselves as victims being persecuted for standing for the truth rather than guys acting like egomaniacal bullies and feigning surprise when they cause a backlash from regular folks no willing to accept disrespectful behavior.

I think a phyciatrist might say something along the lines of Narcasitic behavior with no insight. It isn't likely to change easily as we are talking about grown men who have acted this way all their lives. There may or not be wreckage in their personal lives as a consequence that eventually could help them take ownership of their behavior and make changes but without that or earnest moderation here it is not realistic to believe anything can/will change.

I peek in here every now and again because reptiles are a serious passion but it is always the same 3 folks ( lets be clear, FR, BR and Thomas) berating others. I can not stand on the fence as some try to do and not say something. Sometimes for bad stuff to go on decent people just need to stay quiet for it to flourish.

I miss the times when this was a good forum to enjoy the animals and banter and debate fun stuff. It increased my passion. This is like watching a bad accident over and over and over and over again......

pyromaniac Jun 06, 2012 03:04 PM

I agree about the odd hostile behaviour.
"Fighting on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics; you are still retarded even if you win."
Quote from anonymous wise person

BobS, I really like your pyros and their attractive habitats!
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Bob
Pyromaniac AKA Greatballzofire
Keeping cats allows man to cohabitate with tigers. Keeping reptiles allows man to cohabitate with dinosaurs.

BobS Jun 06, 2012 03:07 PM

Thanks Bob.

Bluerosy Jun 06, 2012 05:45 PM

Atcually healthy debate is good if people follow some simple guidlines.
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Why I say, you attack is, you do not consider anything said, and use random questions that do not relate to the subject or the train of thought that will allow you to learn about the subject. You jump back and forth in some random line of questioning base on what you do not understand.

FR

GerardS Jun 06, 2012 03:55 PM

Good to see you posting again bud, the email you sent me with the movie quote was awesome.
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Gerard

"Sleep my friend and you will see, your dreams are my reality. "

www.livebaitclip.com

GONE FISHING!!!

DMong Jun 06, 2012 04:08 PM

Definition of BERATE. transitive verb. : to scold or condemn vehemently and at length

Well said, Bob. Yes, the word "BERATE" seems all too fitting here.

It is extremely disappointing to see that no matter what topic ever comes up here, it ALWAYS leads to the very same thing time after time after time and always with the very same key players. It's no wonder at all why so many no longer participate here that had fun doing so and plenty of helpful information and experience in the past.

Very nice pyros and in your video, I'm sure they are quite happy in those enclosure habitats...

~Doug
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"a snake in the grass is a GOOD thing"

serpentinespecialties.webs.com

Joe_M Jun 06, 2012 07:54 PM

>>You are one of a number of nice decent folks who gets trampled by huge obnoxious egos that have no personal insight as to how they come across to others and probably worse yet, don't care even if they do.
>>
>>Spirited debate amongst guys is one thing. The stuff that goes on here is just totally bizarre, not unlike a Twilight Zone episode where the biggest offenders try to paint themselves as victims being persecuted for standing for the truth rather than guys acting like egomaniacal bullies and feigning surprise when they cause a backlash from regular folks no willing to accept disrespectful behavior.
>>
>>I think a phyciatrist might say something along the lines of Narcasitic behavior with no insight. It isn't likely to change easily as we are talking about grown men who have acted this way all their lives. There may or not be wreckage in their personal lives as a consequence that eventually could help them take ownership of their behavior and make changes but without that or earnest moderation here it is not realistic to believe anything can/will change.
>>
>>I peek in here every now and again because reptiles are a serious passion but it is always the same 3 folks ( lets be clear, FR, BR and Thomas) berating others. I can not stand on the fence as some try to do and not say something. Sometimes for bad stuff to go on decent people just need to stay quiet for it to flourish.
>>
>>
>>I miss the times when this was a good forum to enjoy the animals and banter and debate fun stuff. It increased my passion. This is like watching a bad accident over and over and over and over again......
>>
>>


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Joe

DISCERN Jun 06, 2012 08:39 PM

Bob, your post is so spot on, breeders all over are clapping their hands as they read this. True breeders and herpers.

To say you love the hobby also should regard the fact of having to embrace everything that goes along with it, in terms of the scene, as a whole, i.e. People. You may not be a people person yourself, and that is fine. However, you must be able to share ideas, and not seek out to bully others, as the typical 3 you have pointed out, who have themselves destroyed what once was a very nice forum. You may not agree, but you should always try to treat others with respect, not berate others due to differences of opinion behind a keyboard far away safe in their homes. Anything you see that is a post back towards someone berating others is simply a reaction. Without a cause, no reaction would be pursued.

Those in the scene know how things are, and what truly goes on.

The trick is, when it comes to bullies, is to ignore. Once they realize they receive no attention from their juvenile behavior, they stop or leave.

I was watching one of my favorite movies the other day, where, in a scene, some young boys are bullying a girl during swim class, in the pool. Teacher catches them, and the main bully screams out, " What??????? I didn't do anything!! "..while the whole world had just watched him be a bully. It really did remind me of a few insecure individuals here, who do the exact same thing.

Oh well, it is just one internet forum out of many. I would not let the rudeness of others with unfortunate reps ruin it. Simply put, contribute here, and ignore those who seek to point you towards their ego, versus the most important thing being discussed, which is snakes.

Great post Bob! You are among the elite in this hobby, and I always appreciate your zeal, positive outlook, and complete regard for others. You rule, my friend!!
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Genesis 1:1

FR Jun 06, 2012 03:59 PM

Tony, working on this forum is not much different then working in the field or in life.

There is always something trying to stop you, get in your way, or just plain cause grief.

our task is to get around it, much like studying these animals in the field. Everything gets in the way, we just have to keep going.

Even if you and I are having a disagreement, somebody is learning. Maybe you, me, or someone other then us.

So to me, these battles are worth the grief. I simply forget it within a couple of hours. I really do.

I have always said this is not about friends, as my friends do not have to keep or keep reptiles well. They are just my friends.

I think the key is to stay in context, that is, make your questions known to the person you want to respond to them, and make sure that person stays on track.

The tag a longs here, will always be here. But then, you have to ask, are they important? Not to me, how about to you? are they important to our animals is an even better question. No they are not. Are they a problem, no, only irrations. Stay and keep going.

Dobry Jun 06, 2012 06:14 PM

It is always something else!

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"We are challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations" George W.

Dobry Jun 06, 2012 06:15 PM

lets try this one.....

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4zvYLxZuf8]
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"We are challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations" George W.

Dobry Jun 06, 2012 06:17 PM

Well I am pseudo retarded and cannot figure it out so you will have to cut and paste.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4zvYLxZuf8
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"We are challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations" George W.

pyromaniac Jun 06, 2012 06:22 PM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4zvYLxZuf8

BB code corrrected.
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Bob
Pyromaniac AKA Greatballzofire
Keeping cats allows man to cohabitate with tigers. Keeping reptiles allows man to cohabitate with dinosaurs.

Dobry Jun 06, 2012 06:26 PM

Hey Bob thanks,

I was trying to imbed it so that the youtube video plays when you open the post. Do you know how to do that? I have seen it done before.

Anyway thanks,
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"We are challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations" George W.

KcTrader Jun 06, 2012 06:30 PM

Dobry, When you reply to a post all the way at the bottom you will see YouTube ID or URL: you just copy and paste in the box next to it. Just make sure you preview the message before posting sometimes doesn't work.....
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Dobry Jun 06, 2012 06:48 PM

Now I feel really dumb! LOL

Thanks,
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"We are challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations" George W.

pyromaniac Jun 06, 2012 06:27 PM

But not my stupid typing! LOL!
Anyway, awesome you tube video! Thanks for posting that!
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Bob
Pyromaniac AKA Greatballzofire
Keeping cats allows man to cohabitate with tigers. Keeping reptiles allows man to cohabitate with dinosaurs.

KcTrader Jun 06, 2012 06:31 PM


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