from Maria
>>TO THE BEST OF THE BEST ON ANY INTERNET BOARD ... some of the best friends I have ... I am sorry not to have written individually - please forgive ... I am on third day of whatever flu this is and Mike is on second day ... we are both so sick we are barely functioning. But I had to get up and get this done. Leo went to the BRIDGE last night at 1:30 AM. He was 12 yrs 2 - 1/2 months old ... the last two months the arthritis had really been bothering him. His legs were just giving out on him once in awhile. We had him to Dr Stephanie a few weeks ago thinking his anal glans were plugged ... not ... he was having trouble trying to go poos cuz it hurt him crouching re legs ... at that time, his heart was strong his lungs were good ... no cause for alarm anywhere other than the arthritis was acting up. Up'd the G/C ... he was not in pain 99% of the time.
Last night, a gift box came from GERI (Panda) - for he and Satina .. he barked and barked and barked at it ... Daddy opened it and six toys flooded out ... he
methodically claimed all of them as his own. He had gone with me Monday and I had found the new way to take him in Cruiser ... so he had his last ride ... Tues night we had chicken (tiny bites) and he and Herself were each over one shoulder
(I sit in front of TV to eat some times) - his last walk w/me was Tues night and his last walk with Daddy was last night. About an hour after the box got opened he came in to us asking for help ... his legs were giving out ... he fell down, rallied, then b/c he did not look well ... MIKE made up this huge "nest" out of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets in living room and laid with him for over two hours ... Mike wanted me to keep Satina in bedroom so I did and Satina and I dozed on and off ... finally about 1 AM Mike woke me up and said ... maybe we should call Dr Dave to come down ... (to put him down) - he was having muscle spasms which always occurred w/arthritis attacks but these were really bad .. so about that time he came out and laid in hallway/dining room archway and just was panting ... I laid with him and held him and within a few minutes he was gone ... in 47 yrs I have never had a pet die in my arms. We want to bury him on our land but the ground is frozen solid so what we ended up doing is having vet cremate him. I detest cremation. Nothing to do w/religion I just don't like it .. we will either sprinkle his ashes at my parents grave or bury his ashes on our land he loved so well ... we wrapped him up in his blankie he has been covered up with the last couple years cuz of shoulders for my brother in law who took him to vets for cremation and I put a red rose on it where his head is ..
it has been a very long 24 hours I have not slept at all .. and damned this flu!
Not to push anything on anyone but ... for two years I said a daily prayer to St Francis, the animal saint, that Leo survived last spring and summer, then he did .. then I just ask St Francis that I not have to put him down that he died natural.
I just wish I was not this damned sick for all this. Whatever flu this it it has Mike and my butts toasted. When we got Leo ready for BIL to take him we let Satina see him smell him ... she seemed to accept his death as natural as animals do ...
I suspect her looking for him/grieving will come tomorrow and later ... truthfully ... I am so heartsick I don't know how I am going to survive ... this my PROTECTOR this was my baby 12 lb chow puppy that saved me from going over the edge when I lost my job husband son dog ... LEO ... I can see him at cemetery asking for snowballs to be thrown to catch ... I can see him asking for a pain pill ... I can see him
if I close my eyes asking for Frosty Paws ... entertaining my parents ... driving across OHIO throwing a fit four times ... I can see him accepting SATINA tiny as she was and his concern when she was spayed ... what I cannot see is HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM ... I am so heartsick I want to die ... I honestly want to just die with him that is how hurting I am ... I was not like this even when my parents died ...
but I did want to share this with the board as I know LEO has been a big part of this board ... how oh how howwwwwwwwwwww can he be GONE?????????????????
I thank each one of you for reading this and for the love and help I have gotten here over many years. Were it not for LEO ... I would never have gotten here nor would I have found SATINA ... is there anything special we can do for her at this time?
The moment Mike and I recoup from this damned flu I will be back on LOVE AND HUGS PEACE AND BLESSINGS LACIE
CHOW: a type of additional subsidiary DIETY designed to capture
the overflow and surplus of the worlds worship
Miss Satina Ebony Leo Little Lion Mike & Lacie
