She's beautiful.. I understand what you mean about neighbour problems. I don'y know how to teach a dog to refuse food though, no matter where it comes from. If you find out, I'd love to know. I've been trying to train my dog to stop picking up food scraps on walks for over a year with no success.
I have taught my dog to touch my hand though. It's not when he wants outside, just when I ask for it ("touch!"
. The problem I can see with that would be, what happens if she can't find your hand? If you're sleeping and your hands don't happen to be visible, she'll likely get very confused and possibly upset.
To teach my guy to touch my hands though I simply held out my hand right near his nose and when he sniffed it, I said "good!" and gave him a treat. We went through that about 10 times and then I started moving my hand a few inches away and saying "Touch!". When he sniffed it, another treat and praise. Within a few days I could say touch! anywhere in the house and he would come running and touch his nose to my hand. Don't know if that helps you, but that's what I did.
Maybe you could hang a bell or similar near the door and teach her to ring it when she wants out? Kaiser is trained to do that, and it's a much more pleasant sound than barking or whining. To do that, we just hung the bell from a decent width rope (he's a chewer when he gets excited and the original string broke quickly) on a hook near the door. We didn't want to hang it on the door because the bell would sound each time we opened it and we didn't want it to be confusing for him. The hook is about a foot away from the door.
When he wanted out we asked "outside?" and when he responded by tail wagging and jumping, we rang the bell and then asked him to sit and opened the door to let him out. When we say "okay", off he goes. It took about 4 days for him to realize that he heard the bell just before going out, every single time. That was when he started ringing it himself and then sitting, staring at the door.