I habn't writted bout eneefing for a long time, so meez desided dat it is time for a *storee*. Akshully, it is more ub a storee 'bout meez Mom, eben tho meez wuz there atta time it oll taked plase. Doze ub you hoo hab noed us for yeerz no 'bout owr todes. We hab a tode hoo issa size ub meez Dad's fist. Him (her???) used to lib inna garden, but now we fink dat him (him or her will be referred to as him dust kauz it is eezier) libs under da porch dat meez Dad bilded... akshully is still inna prosess ub finishing. Eneeway, we don't see da hyoog tode berree offen now, (Mom sez dat it is old, but it duzn't 'peer to hab sloed down enee) but wen we did, dare were sum reelee loud, reelee skaree, reelee blood kurdling skreems dat kamed frum meez Mom. It seems dat her neber seed him until her had her hand olmost on him ~ ushually at dusk. Geez.. her wud 'barrass me wif her leep and skreem. Dust majin how dat poor tode feeld ~ poor gi. Meez bets dat hims eerz herted and mabee eben habs a heering problim now. Eneeway, Mom wuz pulling sum wee wittol weeds owt ob da flower gardin inna middol ob da yard and alla sudden her did her werld famus bakwerd leep. Now dat habs to be hard on dat poor (bone on bone and her dust had a cortisone 'jekshun) hip ub herz. But at leest no wun but meez seed her. WE didn't eben no dat we now hab anuver tode... and it libs inna bushiz... an it is dust normal size.... and it issa same color assa dert.... and it skared (OK.. startold) meez Mom. Meez kan ollwaze tell.. her duz sumpin strange wif her bref and makes a weerd gasping noise. Meez kan't majin wi her is so startold (her swares dat her isn't 'frade.. dat it dust catchiz her off gard) bi sumpin so teenee.. I meen, it isn't like it is skaree wike a hyoog ebil skaree *kaw kaw* berdee. Now dat is sumpin dat kauziz me to run to da door at full speed ushullee looking ober meez sholdir da hole way and skreeming for meez Mom to hab da door opin wen meez gits dare. Den dare are doz hyoog spiderz. Now meez fotted dat da skreems dat her emits wen da tode *startles* her were loud... you shud heer her wen da hyoog ebil uglee 'normus spider lands on her ~ wate.. you prolly did hear her.. yeah, dat wuz meez Mom. Nextist time her chasis meez to meez krate, meez is going to hab a big hyoog ebil uglee 'normous spider kostume in dare to put on. Meez will dust hab to make shur dat meez duzn't wook inna mirror..............
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