...i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face, listening to the quiet little 'peeps' of my beautiful bhc, olive. olive who is once again alone, missing a roommate/brother. my little boy bhc, tank, died today. i still can't believe it. he wasn't even a year old. i think it was stress. he almost hung himself completely, yesterday afternoon. if my daughter had not been up early due to a sore throat he would have been gone, and horribly, yesterday morning. he was busy disassembling their sleepy hut, which was really just a small, covered dog bed that our iggy outgrew. suited the two of them perfectly. they would put themselves to bed every night, curled up together in a little ball of caique, and peep quietly until they fell asleep. but i guess he had pulled a long piece of string out, got it wrapped around his neck, and then thrashed around just enough to almost kill himself. when libby found him, he was on his back with his wings out, and his eyes were no longer red. she wasn't even sure he was breathing, and after she frantically bit the string off his neck, she said she actually covered his nares, and blew a little into his beak. birdie cpr? beak p r? she showed up at my daycare sobbing, but the little man was still hanging in there. he seemed okay, but a little lethargic, so i took him to see an avian vet. she said he looked and sounded fine, which he definitely did, especially when i got him back home, and he hopped down to the play gym, shook himself out, and started munching on an apple. he was fine that night. fine this morning. fine this afternoon at lunch. i left home at just before two, after having olive and tank out, and having them use me as their mobile play gym for an hour or so, then i put them both back in their house. my daughter called me, shreiking and sobbing at four. he had obviously curled up in the sleepy hut, taken a nap, and never woke up. i'm pretty sure my neighbors now think i'm a complete nut. i loved him like i love all of my non. human kids. and he was even more of a luvbug than olive. i can't stop crying. we lost our sun conure in september, and i thought that was bad. this i think is the build up of the two of them. i have three more birds, and olive , the other bhc, is like a child to me. right now, she's asleep on me as i type this. i can feel her little heart gently tapping against my sternum, and i know she's okay. i'm scared to go to bed. if it can happen that easily, that quickly, what if? what if the stress of losing her brother kills her? i know it's irrational, but i'm terrified. if i knew i could stay upright i'd stay right here with her all night. i went on the grief support forum, but i'm scared that non. bird people will think 'he was just a bird' and that my loss will seem insignificant to them. i have five dogs, too, and at this point, i hope to god that either we all go together, or i go before they do. i don't think i would survive it. i have to change my profile now, and add tank to the kids at the bridge. this is by far one of the worst days ever.