Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Would you say something to a friend if you thought their vet was giving sub-par care?

I've used this vet in the past. Once as a back up when my own vet was elbow deep in emergency surgeries, and a couple of times when a friend was unexpectedly called out of town, I took her cats to scheduled appointments. I came away with a bad feeling each time. The office staff changes constantly.

Recently a friend took their 17 year old cat in after finding blood tinged stool outside of the litterbox. Wuzzy has lost 2 lbs in a year but the family has also added two kittens, a baby and a new high stress job in the same time frame. Blood work was taken, not explained to the owners. The vet just sent her home to die (reportedly the vet's words) with low dose prednisone saying it was cancer. That was two months ago. There has been no change in the cat (I've seen her) no more bloody stools, no vomiting. Outside of hairballs and a pulled tendon, this cat has no history of problems.

I'm not sure if I'm getting caught up in my dislike for this vet's awful bedside manner which my friends are comfortable with, or seeing a red flag. My own vet is very middle of the road when it comes to treatment, I'm not sure she'd suggest aggressive treatment if it were cancer at age 17, but she's always made sure I understood what was going on, explaining test results carefully, outlining treatment options.

My girlfriend gets teary eyed when she mentions Wuzzy - grieving has started. Do I push for her to take Wuzzy to another vet? Or just support her as she waits to say good-bye? What would you do?

Elizabeth

Wow- this is a tough situation and I can only tell you what I would consider. I had a vet that did essentially the same thing with my first cat - she had cancer and the poor thing was down to skin and bones and just would not eat very much. We were leaving to go on vacation and I asked the vet to put her down if she continued not eating as the vet was boarding her while we were gone. When I got back, the vet did not put her down - I had called the next day and found out she was still there. I brought her home and she died in my arms that night. I decided then that I would never let another one of my cats suffer like that and I didn't with my second one that I lost about 4 years ago. Needless to say I never went back to that vet but I now have a vet that I know has my cat's best interest at the fore front. Like your vet, she keeps me very informed. I look at situations like this in one way - what is best for the cat. I personally do not think suffering is an option. If you feel that the vet is not taking the cat's best interest into acount - then say something.
-----
Boris's Human, Pam

If it were me, I'd definitely say something. You wouldn't even have to mention that you felt that this vet gives substandard care, just something about getting a second opinion. Hopefully she will take her cat to your vet or a vet that you recommend.

-----
Ruby and the Kitties
Simba, Samantha, Katrina & KatyKatt
Meow!! Meow!! Meow!! Meow!!

How wonderful to do nothing and then rest afterwards. Meow!

Hi Elizabeth,

I have been in similar situations and think it's best to be totally honest. Most likely your friend will understand your concerns.

Even if nothing more can be done for your friend's senior kitty, talking to her may help her other cats in the future.

Regards,
PHKitkat

I'd speak up, maybe couching it in the second opinion terms but definitely to suggest that she consider that option. As perceptive as you are, I have a lot of confidence in your opinion of this vet and suspect she would respect your thoughts (assuming she knows you better than we do)
When doctor's offices of any sort give bad feelings, heed that warning. There's no reason for a vet to be callous and the fact that his staff turns over so often tells you a lot.
I'd say, be honest with your friend. I think she'll be thankful. Katc p.s. a friend has a senior cat who was sent home to die with cancer about six years ago. He's survived two moves and now runs the household in the new house and marriage.

If it were me, I would play less on how you don't like the vet because you might get her guard up that you think she is making a bad decision (whether you mean to or not) and I would play more on her getting a second opinion/examination. Let her know in this sitionation it wouldn't hurt as there may be other treatments that will make the cat more comfortable.

One thing you may face is people have different levels of what they'll do for a pet financially. Some people accept the less aggressive treatment (let the cat die of "old age" vs. others that will seek out treatment to make the cat comfortable and give a better quality of life. Unless we (you in this case) are willing to pay for additional vet care if they (she) isn't willing too, you really can't push it. It is amazing how some people roll easily into the "dying of old age" syndrom without seeing what the problem is. I have had more than one friend/family call with a Senior cat that is extremely thin that has either passed or about to pass and they say the cat is dying of old age. From what they indicate, the cat has/had been wasting away for several weeks. They just have it in their head that it is natural for older pets to die naturally... What they don't know is it could be something like kidney or thyroid problems that can be controlled for quite a while with meds. But, if suggested to see a vet, they "...don't take animals to the vet -- do you know how expensive that is???" I find it funny because it is usually a 15-17 year old beloved pet that has been with the for years!
-----
Tammy
Stanley and Pookey

Those little automatic smiling faces are annoying. I used a right paren to close off the section and it turned it into a winking smiley face. Sheesh...
-----
Tammy
Stanley and Pookey

If the cat isn't appearing to be ill but the friend is suffering. I would delicately mention that sometimes a second opinion is needed. It doesn't sound to me like enough was done to even diagnose the kitty much less pronounce it to be dying. Many things can cause a little blood in a stool, including worms.
-----
Tessa Onyx, Foudini, Charlee, Spottie, ShyRaven, Buddy, Tuxie, Widdle Attila Sipowitz, Lizzie, Minnie, ET, Mylo, Penny (We be house cats at last), and Salem, Wicca and Marmalade (We iz also house cats, we guess)and the 5 porch kits also Riley da goggie and Alex da baby hamster too
Tabitha and Samantha..always in our hearts
A house without cats is like a garden without flowers

Thank you to everyone who replied. I was really struggling with my own dislike of this vet. But my friends really like this vet, they have used to other.

Katc and Tessa pretty much summed up my own suspicious thoughts - Wuzzy might even be ill. We all tend to lose something as we age, often minor things that can be controlled as Tammy pointed out. I've played phone tag the past few days with my friends so I don't if there has been any change in the last week.

I'm not opposed to Wuzzy being allowed to die with dignity, I just don't understand how she could be given a death sentence with no explaination.

My friends lost a 3 y.o. cat to rabies vaccine related cancer about 18 months ago. This vet sent Mocha home to die (I don't know the location of the tumor or if amputation was raised. Mocha never left the master bedroom while I visited, unlike Wuzzy who comes and sees me) She had painkillers at one point. Twice they took her asking the vet if it was time to put her down, was she in a lot of pain, twice they were sent home. The third time they insisted Mocha be put down as they were going out of town and didn't want their sis who was cat sitting to be stuck making final arrangements. I recognize with their attachment to Mocha it might have been dicey for the vet to simply say "It's time."

But several years ago I picked up a mother cat and litter to foster. One kitten was clearly dying. I drove from the pick up to my own vet only to discover her scambling to cover a nasty emergency. So I drove to this vet and asked to have them put the kitten down. I was told the kitten was fine, asked to come back that afternoon for a scheduled appointment, which I did. When I came back, I pulled the kitten out of my shirt (I was trying to keep it warm) held it out and told the vet to put it down. She told me I could save the kitten, showed me how to tube feed it and sent me home. The kitten died mewling in pain 20 minutes later.

I've hesitated to speak up because if Wuzzy isn't dying, a little time might make my friends more inclined to consider getting a second opinion. And if she is, I think my position to be more of insisting they follow their gut when it comes to time to say good-bye.

Thanks again everyone for weighing in on a difficult call.

Purrs,
Elizabeth

Can you tell the baby had me up since 4 am? Meant to write my friends really like their vet, they use no other. Moving on....should read "Wuzzy might NOT be ill..."

Really bugs me, I can rattle off at least 6 really good vets in this area without thinking but I know 4 people who have dropped this vet for various reasons. When Mocha was ill, I did have a conversation about their vet being adverse to putting animals down but they still had absolute trust.

I have to agree, suggest a second opinion...
-----
PHTessie