Reptile & Amphibian Forums

My cat has always been sort of an aggressive player and a little skittish with strangers, but lately his behavior has gotten out of control.

Halifax can usually tolerate strangers (unless they are babies or small children-he hates those) being in the house for a limited amount of time (i.e. during a movie night or a game night) but when people extend their stay he starts to let them know how he feels about it. I had a friend sleep in my living room for a few weeks and Halifax crept up on her every night, settled in right next to her head, and growled until she sat up...at which point he would bolt and scamper behind or underneath something.

If people bring babies or children over, I have to put him in another room because he scares them with his open-mouthed growling.

Halifax also growls at people he sees out the window, but will run and hide if he thinks they may approach him.

Halifax HATES my new boyfriend. I used to think that my boyfriend may have been abusing him because Halifax would SCREAM when they were alone in a room together. However, my boyfriend has assured me that he never touches the cat (who would?) and I recently started noticing this behavior occuring without any provocation whatsoever. Halifax will growl when my boyfriend talks, and the growling does not stop! Worse yet, Halifax SCREAMS if my boyfriend goes near him just to pick something up off of the ground. I wish I could express the volume and intensity of the sounds that my cat makes on this forum, but as of yet, I have not recorded any audio/video of this behavior, which I guess might not be a bad idea. Suffice it to say that every time it happens, I cringe because it sounds like my cat is undergoing some sort of immense physical torture...and I worry that my neighbors may call Animal Welfare officers and take my cat away from me.

I have a feeling that this behavior could be a jealousy issue. Halifax no longer sleeps in the bed with me because my boyfriend doesn't like it. (Halifax steals elastic hair bands and ear plugs when we let him into the bedroom. He also wakes up my boyfriend a lot in the night.) When I sleep alone, Halifax will jump onto the bed, nuzzle my face, and settle in comfortably near my head, where he purrs until he falls asleep. However, we rarely have that time together anymore.

We recently adopted a new kitten and it is taking a few days, but Halifax seems to be warming up to him. They play together and chase eachother around the house until Halifax loses his patience (He is 3 years old and the kitten is only a little over a month old) and bats the kitten away. BUT whenever Halifax sees me pick up the kitten or play with it, he growls. I make it a point to pet Halifax before I pet the kitten because I heard that helps with jealous dogs, but the kitten approaches me more often than Halifax.

Halifax has always been a little stand-offish. He doesn't like to be pet for very long. (He bites when he's tired of it.) He also is generally an aggressive player. He likes to wrestle and he likes to bat your legs as you walk by (or grab them and hold on) and he likes to play chase games. He stops violent play when I saw "Ow."

He is neutered (the altering did NOT improve his behavior one bit) and I found him when he was just a little kitten out in the woods. I heard him mewing out there for three days before I finally found him, covered in cat lice, bone-thin, and with burrs all over his matted fur. Could his struggle for life in the wild be explanation for his behavior? He's already three years old. I am literally out of ideas on what to do. I've tried spraying him with water when he growls for no reason, putting him in "time out" (locking him in the bathroom for a little while) when he gets too vocal, giving him a firm "NO!" or "Halifax!" or "Stop it!" when he gets loud, flicking him on the nose (not many times because I hate doing it), and we've also tried ignoring the behavior with the thinking that he would stop when he realized it wasn't accomplishing anything. He seems to hate the time-out the worse, but now he recognizes when I say "You wanna go to time out?" and he just gets even more angry when he hears it. He continues to growl and rolls over on his side to make it more difficult for me to pick him up and put him in time out. I don't know what to do! I'm calling the vet this week to see what he thinks (medication, behavior specialist?) but in the meantime, I'm open to other ideas.

I should also mention that every once in a while Halifax exhibits very positive behavior. One time, he jumped into my boyfriend's lap out of the blue and let my boyfriend pet him for about 20 minutes without making a single negative sound.

In the meantime, I've told my boyfriend to NOT try to make friends with Halifax. I think Halifax needs to decide when they can become friends. So for now, I only let my boyfriend hold his finger out for Halifax to sniff, and that's the only interaction they have.

Halifax gets along fine with my ferret and has gotten along with some (not all) other adult cats in his life. My friends have called him bipolar and psycho and Satan.

My cat sounds awful and most of my friends have a genuine dislike for him but I'm really fond of him and he really is very nice to me. Giving him up is not an option that I am willing to seriously consider, but neither is giving up my boyfriend or any of my other friends.

Does anyone know how to deal with this? Especially the vocalizations...because they get old...and they are incredibly irritating!

Thanks for any ideas!

I forgot to mention...the vet assistants refuse to touch my cat because of his behavior. I think they have his file flagged or something. Whenever I say his name, they say "Oh. Him." He is KNOWN there and they don't like to touch him. Fortunately, the vet is very understanding and will deal with my cat's stunning vocal range and batting and hissing throughout the entire vet visit.

Hi There,

First of all, I do believe that the problems Halifax is having stem from his difficult start in life. Losing his mom early on is very hard on a kitten, and kittens that grow up alone often have behavioral issues. They lack the interaction with mom and other kittens so that normal development is almost impossible.

I think you have to accept the fact that Halifax will always have some issues. Then you can start working with him in hopes of seeing some "improvement" in his behavior. Cats are the way they are because of what they have gone through in their lives, just as we are.

Bonding with humans will always be difficult for Halifax, which may be why he hates your boyfriend. Jealousy is definitely an issue, for not only Halifax, but the boyfriend as well. Try looking at things from the cat's point of view. He has been banished from his bed most nights and his place has been taken by a stranger who also wants your attention. Plus there has been a kitten added to the household. I would not recommend adding a kitten when there is already so much tension in the house, but you have already taken him in.

Halifax becomes overstimulated when he feels he has had enough petting. This is not unusual in some cats and it's not something that is likely to change. The key is to only pet him as much as he likes.......when you see him flicking his tail or his ears go back it's time to stop.

As far as spraying Halifax with water, yelling at him, or flicking him on the nose, please don't. These things are not going to help, they will only cause more tension and stress for Halifax. He is already dealing with so much.

It disturbs me that you have considered the possibility that your boyfriend has abused Halifax. To me this would be a huge red flag, even though I know he has denied touching him. Even intentionally scaring a cat can be abuse. There have been times when I have looked back and realized that my cats had more insight than I did and I should have listened to them.

I am a vet tech in a cat hospital and I would probably be fired if I refused to do something for an aggressive cat. The assistants where you go need some serious training. We even have feral cats come in on a regular basis and rarely are hurt by them.

If you do decide to try medication on Halifax, ask your vet about clomipramine. It works very well in cats.

Regards,
PHKitkat