Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Hi all,

I am new to this message board, and message boards in general. I am desperate for advice. My kitten is FURIOUS with me! I have a 5 1/2-month old kitten and work 10-12 hours a day. Callie is a Balinese, and is extremely social, so it became clear that she needed a full-time playmate. On Friday we a adopted a brother for her...an 11-week old Balinese boy, Kazee. I am sad to say that I did everything wrong!

Mistake number 1. I was told that introducing the new kitten on neutral ground would help the process. Since Callie is extremely curious and adventurous, I took her with me to pick him up. She likes the car, and is leash trained (she actually gets excited when I take her harness out), so that wasn't a problem, but the screaming children and other cats were. She was NOT happy.

Mistake number 2. "just throw them together...they'll be fine." Well, after he tested negative for FIV/FELV, I let him have free run of the house. Callie did a good amount of hissing and growling, and tried to give Kazee an occassional swat, but the little boy was oblivious. He ducked the swats, and if she came too close, he'd swat back (actually it was more like a wave than a swat). Callie appeared to be frightened of him (she weighs over 10 pounds and he weighs 2.5 pounds), and still seems to be a little afraid. He shows absolutely NO respect for her territorial rights, and she backs down and "pouts".

On the positive side, by Sunday night, they were playing and last night they were sleeping together. All seems to be relatively ok between the two of them, although she gets angry when he plays with a toy and ignores her, and furious when he plays with me. She makes a noise that I cannot describe, and either goes into the kitchen and eats or sits by the front door with her back to us.

Unfortunately, she seems to be getting worse, not better. Any of you who have had a Bali (or Siamese) know how vocal they are. She is acting like a petulant child...alternating between whining and "scolding" me. The verbal reproaches are not to be believed!! She is quite the drama queen. If it wasn't so upsetting to me, it would be a riot!

She will no longer sleep with me, and chases Kazee off the bed when he snuggles up. She grumbles and runs away when I try to pet her. She whines when I pick her up and then chatters, squirms and tries to bite my hand (she only mouths me, but I don't like the direction the behavior is heading. She gets upset if I do, OR if I don't pay attention to her.

I brought her into the bedroom alone last night and tried to play with her with her favorite toy...fishing rod with a feather...she played for a few minutes and then meowed at the door. As I mentioned she loves to walk outside the apartment, so I put her harness on her and take her for walks in the hallway. She allows me to put the harness and leash on, and trots ahead of me as usual. HOWEVER, she chatters, scolding me, the entire time, and looks back at me periodically as if to emphasize the point. When we get back to the apartment she sits by the front door with her back to us.

I am completely at a loss. Please help!! Any ideas would be welcomed!!

Thank you!!

Desperate New Meowmie

You said "On Friday we adopted a brother for her" which lets me know you haven't had the new kitten for more than a week yet. I advise you to give Callie some space if she don't want bothered. Her plan is for you to get rid of Kazee, and you need to show her it's not working. Callie will adjust and go back to her usual self soon.

When we brought our new puppy Dodger home four years ago, Fluffy was the same way your cat is now. When my mother's friend Grace brought her new kitten home, her older cat was the same way your cat is now. I understand your concern. Just give your older cat a chance to adjust and everything should be fine.

Whatever you do, do NOT get rid of your new kitten. Everything will work out, and Callie and Kazee have a good chance of becoming friends after a while.

It works in steps:
(1) Callie hates you and Kazee
(2) Callie doesn't hate you anymore but still hates Kazee
(3) Callie loves you again and ignores Kazee
(4) Callie loves you still and is slightly accepting Kazee
(5) Callie loves you still and Kazee doen't annoy her any more
(6) Callie loves you still and Kazee is possibly her friend

Hang in there!

Original message:

Hi all,

I am new to this message board, and message boards in general. I am desperate for advice. My kitten is FURIOUS with me! I have a 5 1/2-month old kitten and work 10-12 hours a day. Callie is a Balinese, and is extremely social, so it became clear that she needed a full-time playmate. On Friday we a adopted a brother for her...an 11-week old Balinese boy, Kazee. I am sad to say that I did everything wrong!

Mistake number 1. I was told that introducing the new kitten on neutral ground would help the process. Since Callie is extremely curious and adventurous, I took her with me to pick him up. She likes the car, and is leash trained (she actually gets excited when I take her harness out), so that wasn't a problem, but the screaming children and other cats were. She was NOT happy.

Mistake number 2. "just throw them together...they'll be fine." Well, after he tested negative for FIV/FELV, I let him have free run of the house. Callie did a good amount of hissing and growling, and tried to give Kazee an occassional swat, but the little boy was oblivious. He ducked the swats, and if she came too close, he'd swat back (actually it was more like a wave than a swat). Callie appeared to be frightened of him (she weighs over 10 pounds and he weighs 2.5 pounds), and still seems to be a little afraid. He shows absolutely NO respect for her territorial rights, and she backs down and "pouts".

On the positive side, by Sunday night, they were playing and last night they were sleeping together. All seems to be relatively ok between the two of them, although she gets angry when he plays with a toy and ignores her, and furious when he plays with me. She makes a noise that I cannot describe, and either goes into the kitchen and eats or sits by the front door with her back to us.

Unfortunately, she seems to be getting worse, not better. Any of you who have had a Bali (or Siamese) know how vocal they are. She is acting like a petulant child...alternating between whining and "scolding" me. The verbal reproaches are not to be believed!! She is quite the drama queen. If it wasn't so upsetting to me, it would be a riot!

She will no longer sleep with me, and chases Kazee off the bed when he snuggles up. She grumbles and runs away when I try to pet her. She whines when I pick her up and then chatters, squirms and tries to bite my hand (she only mouths me, but I don't like the direction the behavior is heading. She gets upset if I do, OR if I don't pay attention to her.

I brought her into the bedroom alone last night and tried to play with her with her favorite toy...fishing rod with a feather...she played for a few minutes and then meowed at the door. As I mentioned she loves to walk outside the apartment, so I put her harness on her and take her for walks in the hallway. She allows me to put the harness and leash on, and trots ahead of me as usual. HOWEVER, she chatters, scolding me, the entire time, and looks back at me periodically as if to emphasize the point. When we get back to the apartment she sits by the front door with her back to us.

I am completely at a loss. Please help!! Any ideas would be welcomed!!

Thank you!!

Desperate New Meowmie

>>You said "On Friday we adopted a brother for her" which lets me know you haven't had the new kitten for more than a week yet. I advise you to give Callie some space if she don't want bothered. Her plan is for you to get rid of Kazee, and you need to show her it's not working. Callie will adjust and go back to her usual self soon.
>>
>>When we brought our new puppy Dodger home four years ago, Fluffy was the same way your cat is now. When my mother's friend Grace brought her new kitten home, her older cat was the same way your cat is now. I understand your concern. Just give your older cat a chance to adjust and everything should be fine.
>>
>>Whatever you do, do NOT get rid of your new kitten. Everything will work out, and Callie and Kazee have a good chance of becoming friends after a while.
>>
>>It works in steps:
>>1) Callie hates you and Kazee
>>2) Callie doesn't hate you anymore but still hates Kazee
>>3) Callie loves you again and ignores Kazee
>>4) Callie loves you still and is slightly accepting Kazee
>>5) Callie loves you still and Kazee doen't annoy her any more
>>6) Callie loves you still and Kazee is possibly her friend
>>
>>Hang in there!
**************************************************
PERFECT advice Pappilon. I went thru a similar hell when my mother died and I integrated her two cats with mine. One of her cats I was certain was going to either be killed or kill somebody. She terrorized my cats to no end, wouldnt even let them pass by her. They eventually began to just ignore her behaviors, and adapted an "oh yeah, ok" attude. It took a few months and now she is adapted and she actually likes it here. But boy, it was a rough haul at first. Cats have an interesting pattern when it comes to acceptance and I think you really nailed it down in your six steps. I actually think my cats cured her by just shrugging at her. So long as nobody bleeds and nobody gets hurt (flying hair notwithstanding), time helps to take care of these issues. Maybe this little gal knows that mommy will be upset if she carries on like she's been doing. Might not be a bad idea to just shrug at her more when she does it. Then her punishment efforts won't seem as fruitful to her. It seemed to work here. But hey what do I know: my cats only let me stay because there's a mortgage. LOL

Whoever gave you the advice "just throw them together and they will be fine" is very off track. The key to successful introductions between cats is slow and gradual. However, since they are already playing and sleeping together, I think you just need time and things will settle down. You may want to try one of those Feliway Comfort Zone Plug-ins. They tend to calm the cats down.
-----
Dottie
Proudly owned by The Catnip Crew...Munchkin,Casey,Maddie,Harley,Meadow,Ashley,Nicky and Mushka

Hi NewMeowme,
Don't worry your kitties are doing great. Your older kitty will get over her grumpy problem soon enough.
I brought a new kitten (Gabby) home in June. There are four other cats in our house. All of the cats kind of ignored Gabby for hte first week or so. Then Tucker (my 2 yr old) started playing with her instead of hissing. Boots and Lizzy (6 or 7 yr olds) also started playing with her. The only one t hat still doesnt like her is my grumpy ol' Crash (5 yr old). She has finally started tolerating the kitten but growls now at Boots and Lizzy. And she has started sleeping in the bedroom again instead of in the garage. It just takes a while for the adjustment.
Hang in there.

Jaime

Goodness Sakes!!!....Give this time. A week is hardly enough time. By this time next month, all will be well!

I agree with all posted responses on this one. In time, it sounds like your kitties will be getting along fine and love you too. It's great that you have a male and female (best combo as long as they are spayed and neutered). I adopted a tiny male kitten (Ziggy) in June as a companion to my female kitty, Molly (she was 7 months old at the time). I had the same situation occur with Molly. I transitioned into their meeting and accepting one another, and after 3 wks they were fine. Now they are such compadres. Ziggy is very affectionate with me. Molly, who was never a full blown cuddler - showed a marked decrease in her response to me (outside of "wake up and feed me" time). She is ever so slightly beginning to want to cuddle with me - and play with me. I think she needed to process her relationship with Ziggy first...and just could't reconcile her relationship with me until that was done. I'm sure Ziggy and Molly will have many more periods of adjustment (he's due to get neutered next month). I'm learing to just be patient and keep approaching her with love and tenderness. I am sure you will see a difference soon too.

Wow! Molly sounds like Callie!! No worries about male and female...Callie is already spayed, and Kazee is getting neutered ASAP!! He marks everything in sight! He basically claims everything he sees. I want to make sure that he is fixed long before he figures out how to spray!

Thank you to everyone who responded! As you may have expected, all is well here at Callie and Kazee's house. Patience is a virtue which, apparently, I do not possess! It seems as if Callie has forgiven me for bringing the Tazmanian devil, otherwise known as Kazee, into her life. She becomes more like her old self every day. Now, if I could only get him to stop trying to nurse on her, and to stop chasing her out of bed everytime she tries to snuggle with me!!! I know...in time, in time!

Thanks again! You got me through a very stressful time!!