Reptile & Amphibian Forums

OK, I have a 3 year-old extremely friendly, very gentle mix-breed cat (Maggie) who has been my 'baby' for several years. She has always been around other cats, although last year my roommate's 17 year-old siamese would chase and lash out at her. We kept them separate as much as possible, but now in my new apartment, I adopted a 1-year-old Maine Coon about 1 1/2 months ago.

Sage is as sweet as she can be. She seems to adore Maggie and bounds up to her to play and Maggie just freaks out, I guess she's thinking Sage is coming after her like my old roommate's cat did. By freak out, I mean literally go nuts, and make that awful cat-in-terror shriek as well as lashing out with ears back. Sage always backs off and looks rather confused that Maggie doesn't like her. Because she is just a year, she hasn't fully grown out of her kittenish play stage yet (plus she was found at 7 mos with a litter of kittens and probably missed out on most of her kitten stage playing mommy).

I did separate them at first and introduce them slowly. Maggie will touch noses with Sage sometimes and I have even seen Maggie let Sage lick her face. It doesn't seem to be a jealousy issue because Maggie seems calmer around Sage when I am close, and most of the time when she freaks out I am out of the room or on the other side of the room. Maggie growls whenever Sage comes near her, and Sage follows Maggie around with utter devotion.

I have been trying the Feliway plugin and the herbal remedy suggested here for at least three weeks and it hasn't seemed to make a difference. I think if Maggie calmed down she'd realize that Sage totally adores her and wouldn't hurt her, and would also be a fun playmate. My old roommate also had a kitten and he and Maggie played together all the time with no problem.

Any suggestions?

Sometimes a cat will be afraid of another cat for no apparent reason. Sage might have inadvertantly startled Maggie in some way that you didn't notice. Maggie is now being on the defensive. Or Maggie might have had a totally different scare and is taking it out on Sage.

Good luck! I hope things will work out.
-----
Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

I actually still have her antianxiety meds from moving. She didn't eat for three days (although that might have been from the stress of moving and not the meds). Maybe I will try a half-dose of the meds tonight.

Maggie sounds just like my cat Crash. She was abused by another cat for a little over a month before I was able to get her out of that house. Ever since she has had a hard time adjusting to new cats. The worst was when I adopted Gabby last yr. It took almost 10 months for her to get used to Gabby. They now are able to sit near each other. And Crash even lets Gabby rub on her once in a while. The meds sound like a good idea. It will all work out in time.
-----
Jaime owned by
Mya the dog
and the cats:Crash, Moxie, Gabby and sometimes Tucker

Firstly, I know what you're going through! But believe me, it will get better. There are a few basic things that may help you in your situation. Most importantly, don't try to be fair. By this I mean don't try to help the situation the way you would with humans; you'll just end up getting nowhere and the cats will get frustrated. Cats have a unique code of conduct all of their own. As you probably already know, even the most easy going cat will get affected if things don't go their way. For one, any change in environment, such as moving house, new pets, etc., is NOT a good thing for a cat. So its no
surprise Maggie is resentful of Sage popping up on the scene. You, as "head cat", have to restore order by supporting Sage's right to space and privacy. I know it may seem cruel to Sage, but cats don't think that way. Sage will see this as normal boundary forming and will learn to accept it. You can do this in a variety of ways: keep Maggie's bed and food on a higher level than Sage's (whilst still feeding at the same times). This shows Maggie she need not feel threatened by the newcomer, whilst Sage will learn about her lower rank in the house (this is what I mean about not trying to be "fair" - cats' understanding of "fair" is completely different, they need and expect boundary formation). Keep Maggie's toys out of reach of Sage and show Maggie only she has access to them. You can also designate times when Maggie has complete run of the house without Sage being present. Give Maggie special time alone with yourself, doing things you both normally enjoy doing together, even if its just being in the same room together (she may act bitterly towards you for a while, but persevere; remember, she looks to you to maintain order in the house, and so far she feels angry with your "management rules"!). Anyway, you get the general drift. Maggie must be made to feel of prime importance. Secondly, when contact is inevitable, there are a few simple rules. When Maggie starts getting aggressive, DO NOT scold her. In fact, don't pay any attention to her. Instead, from a short distance keep reassuring both cats in a calming tone ("good kitties, beautiful cats", etc.). ONLY interfere if you feel Maggie is feeling cornered or extremely unsafe. In this case, remove Sage from the room without making
a fuss over her and go back to comforting Maggie, giving her some breathing space before reintroducing Sage onto the scene. Keep giving your affection and attention to Sage down to a minimum in front of Maggie, until things get better. Instead, speak kindly of Sage in front of Maggie when they're both in the room, saying things like 'Sage is a good cat' etc. But don't
overdo it. Stop if you feel Maggie getting jealous or stiff.
If this happens, immediately revert your attention to Maggie.
You may find some of this cruel or hard, but it works and is the closest you'll get to resolving disputes in a "feline fashion". Good luck and don't give up!!!

Actually, I already do many of these things. I would put Maggie's food up, but I really don't have anywhere 'up' to put it. I do let her get up on the counter to jump onto the fridge, which is the only time she is allowed on a counter or table. I have separated them, but that almost seems worse. Sage cries and Maggie hides from her crying, even though the door is closed between them. However, when it comes to food, Maggie seems to have no problem sharing with Sage. They will share treats happily and eat side by side. I shower Maggie with attention, but still try to give Sage enough attention to feel loved. As far as toys, they seem to have completely different preferences (Maggie likes strings and Sage likes balls and mice), so that doesn't seem to be an issue at all. Maggie has never liked to play by herself unless it's with a live bug.

Sage already seems to give Maggie preference. I let Maggie show her aggressiveness without punishment, and sometimes if Sage is showing aggression (which I'm positive is just kittenish play-she just desperately wants Maggie as a playmate), I do say no to Sage. Sage always backs off and kowtows anyway if Maggie growls or shows any aggression. Maggie has allowed Sage to wash her head, and they touch noses regularly, but Maggie is still acting timid a lot. Even when I keep Maggie in my room at night with Sage out (almost a necessity since Sage is extremely noisy at night), Maggie won't sleep with me anymore.

I just want my happy cat back.

I think you may be getting your happy cat back soon. It sounds like she is already starting to accept Sage. Be patient!
-----
Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

It's been a little better lately. Here is a pic of them together:

>>It's been a little better lately. Here is a pic of them together:
>>
>>

They are both beautiful - actually if they are letting each other get that close they are probably going to be OK with each other.
-----
Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

Oh Sage adores Maggie. She turned around after that and started licking Maggie's head. Maggie is doing better, but I think that she would continue to eat treats if a strange dog was attacking her, and only run away once the treats were gone...

>>Oh Sage adores Maggie. She turned around after that and started licking Maggie's head. Maggie is doing better, but I think that she would continue to eat treats if a strange dog was attacking her, and only run away once the treats were gone...
>>
>>

LOL!
-----
Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!