Reptile & Amphibian Forums

I adopted Dexter from a rescue group a week ago. He is about 10 months old and I thought he would be the perfect companion for Josie, my 10 month old female. (They've both been fixed.)

I separated him at first, but my apartment is small and the bathroom has no windows, so little ventilation. I figured that since Josie is very adaptable (she's been on planes, visited other houses with cats, met dogs and adapted within hours or a day, plus she has no fear of vaccuums, strange people, etc) the process could go faster. But the first time she saw him, she hissed and growled, and would do the same on the other side of the bathroom door. I exchanged their scents with a towel. Then a day later I let him wander around and she just growled and chased him back into the bathroom. And once he'd been out, he would howl at being alone in the bathroom so I had to let him out for fear of my neighbors. He has never hissed back at her, he just flattens his ears if she comes too close and hisses. Otherwise he follows her around. I don't think she's even swatted at him, but she hisses, growls, spits and chases him out of the main room. When i tried putting Dexter in the carrier for Josie to inspect, she just growled at him and when he moved she actually jumped at the cage and hissed/spit. But she doesn't hide or act really angry otherwise, just really wary and avoiding him.

I'm taking him to the vet this afternoon (though now I realize i should have done this before they interacted) and I'm also going to purchase some Feliway. But is there anything else I can do to make Josie relax around Dexter? I figure she's very territorial of me and my studio apartment, since we've been alone together for 4 months. I can't really go back in time and keep him isolated from her for longer.

Any advice/hope is appreciated!

It sounds like Josie is showing her dominance but not being too much of a threat otherwise. Although it will be difficult you'll probably need to keep them separated somehow a little longer. Can your ren or borrow a large kitty condo?

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Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!

Just let them be...they'll be OK. I have cats who had to learn to tolerate other 'strange' cats, and at first they all objected to the 'strange' cat's presence, but in the end, they adjust.

Simply put...Cats don't like 'strangers' in their territory, however, in the end, will learn to live with it. It really does all work out.
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Ruby and the Kitties
Simba, Samantha, Katrina & KatyKatt
Meow!! Meow!! Meow!! Meow!!

How wonderful to do nothing and then rest afterwards. Meow!

I dunno, I've heard the "let them sort it out" method is a bad way to go, you could end up with cats that will NEVER get along if you don't do it right. They feel their space is being invaded and nobody seems to care so it can make them bitter and defensive. First off are they both altered? I think you're doing the right thing with trying to let Josie have her space and you may opt to keep this up for a little while longer but even still it may be too late because Dexter doesn't seem to like being isolated and he's vocal about it. My friend had this problem with her dog but I don't think the same applies. After a week though I should think that they would've been better together but for some it takes more time. Try positive reinforcement, you could use her favorite treats or toy and always reward good behavior. When she's in front of the door or carrier, talk to her and let her know what's going on with the new kitten. Pat her and give her a few treats for good behavior and make sure she knows nothing is going to change. Give it time and I wish the best of luck to you and your growing feline family

I agree with just letting them go as well. I adopted a very scary Exotic Shorthair (Spooky) and just about 3 months later I found a little kitten(Cinders). The kitten was around 3 wks old so he was with me most of the time for about a week and a half to 2 wks. But when he mastered the stairs and I felt I could trust him using his little potty, they both had the run of the house. Yeah they didn't like each other for a while, but now they constantly run around and play with each other. Good thing too cuz Spooky is getting to be a little chunk monster. She looks like a panda bear.

I guess it really all depends on the cats...

Yeah, I don't know that I can really separate them again. Feliway seemed to mellow Josie out a bit. They're both altered, and Dexter wants to follow Josie around and she has no problem hissing and chasing him off if he gets too close, so i'm not really worried about them fighting. I think she still feels threatened and untrusting of him though. She's getting back to her normal routine a bit, but she's not sleeping with me or purring very much. I do give her attention specifically, but she seems annoyed with me.

I'll probably be moving in a month to a larger apartment - will this have an effect on their relationship? Meaning, since Josie will no longer feel that its her territory completely, will she be less upset?

Thanks for all the tips!

Cats are such strange little creatures! My first cat was Samantha and then when she was about 5 or 6 months old, I added my second cat, Simba. Sammi was still a little baby but hated it that another cat had invaded her 'territory'. Still today, 6 or 7 years later, she has not completely accepted Simba but has learned to 'tolerate' him.

So just put your cats together and let them work it out on thier own. It should take only a day or two. Cats don't like another creature invading 'their' territory but they'll get used to it, especially when they realize that it's not going to change. Of course, during this 'getting acquainted' time, you'll be there to make sure that nobody is actually hurting the other, as in a cat fight.
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Ruby and the Kitties
Simba, Samantha, Katrina & KatyKatt
Meow!! Meow!! Meow!! Meow!!

How wonderful to do nothing and then rest afterwards. Meow!

Wow - sounds eerily similar to what I have happening in my 2 br apt. (and, oddly comforting to know that this appears to be "normal"
You're right about your first cat being annoyed. My Maja didn't sleep near me or play or purr after the kitten arrive. She's back to herself, sort of, by now, but still very aggressive to him. Lots of chasing. It's tiring to juggle the two of them, keeping them separated, etc., and it has been a month. I, too, am concerned about damaging their relationship.... i don't want it to be constantly aggressive. I think at the end of this week, i'll just let them sort it out themselves, because I'm at the end of my rope. I'm moving to a house in a few months and I think that will help: new territory for both of them, it doesn't "belong" to one or the other, and now they'll have to rely on one another to manage their way around it. Let's see.
Keep trying!

Josie and Dexter are now completely cohabitating. And Josie goes through stages as she gets used to him. One day they're sleeping on the bed together with me (well, about a foot apart from each other). Today she's sulking and sleeping in her carrier (she loves it in there, its like a cave). But she's always curious about what he's up to and vice versa. I think that moving to a new space in a month will probably alter their relationship again, since she won't be so territorial.

Dexter is turning into a love-bug. He follows me around and hops on the bed to cuddle next to me. He also

Its funny, i always thought that dogs get jealous more than cats. But Josie is jealous. I sympathize with trying to juggle between two cats, making sure each gets enough attention!

>>Its funny, i always thought that dogs get jealous more than cats. But Josie is jealous. I sympathize with trying to juggle between two cats, making sure each gets enough attention!

Cats have been given a bad rap when it comes to socialization. Although they can be independent - they are also very social creatures and enjoy interaction with humans!
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Smile, it will make them wonder what you are up to!