Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Vinny lyink on him blankey in delta sleepe an him eyebools rolink while him dreaam. Him smilink an mumblink.Him chanting now in hims sleep:

"Buildd it an dey wont come
Buildd it an dey wont come
Buildd it an dey wont commmmmmmmmmme!!!!"

Suddenly him sit up. Him rub hims eyes, grab a powir bar, git dwessed wifowt a showr or nuthing cause him a Heman Kit, yeahhhhhhh. Him hop owt da screen Roni ripped in da den and breakk into da garage dat hims daddy lockedd to keep hims owt. Him grabb a huge tool box, dump owt all da toolz and pick out wat him need. Him got ratchett efuryfings. Ratchit screwdriver, ratchet rench, rachet ratchetz. Him gots belt sanderz an beltliss sanders, resiprokatink saw an non recipwikating saw. Him put on da carpinters aprin an dump handfulls uf ebery size nailz in der. Him gotz de planez too. an all da reglar stuff like hammerz an chizels an chit lyke dat. An anudder tool him no kin identify but him lyke da feel uf. Him gonta name it a whirrink zip bop.

Vinny finish buttin hims overhallz. Him tie hims steel toe shoes an put a bandanna rown hims head under hims cap. Him look up at da sky an it a nice balmy day an him pop a wad uf tobacky in hims mouf. Leest he FINKs it a nice balmy day annaconta him no efun know what balmmy meens. Him put a spwing in hims step and head ober to DEXXTUHs howse. Him stand owtside DEXXTUH's bedroome window and trow stones at it.

PPppppsssssTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! DEXTUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!. Lets git startedd on da convershion uf da amoosement partk to owr sanktuary!!!!!!

>>PPppppsssssTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! DEXTUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!. Lets git startedd on da convershion uf da amoosement partk to owr sanktuary!!!!!!>>

Dexx hear a sharp crrrrrack,leap out ob bed an stumble to da window. Him gaze past da crooked crack in da glass wif one eyeboll open an see Vinny in da front yard below...bended forward, paw to mouf wif a 'My Bad' wook on hims face. Normally, Dexx wud be annoyed but dis is only a slight inconvenience given da eggsitement ob da Boys Only project. Da boykits ob MCV haf needed a place ob dems own to unwind fur a while now and effurykit is fired up about da project.

Well, it clear to Dexx dat Vinny not got a clue wot dis thing duz but not wanting to embarrass hims bud...let's the subject drop. The boys finish loadink da truck and head off to da funhouse to start remodelink.
-----

Dextuh - Kink ob da Scandahoovian Forest Minkys
Morgan Le Fay - aka 'Hoover da Dust Bunny Muncher'
Oscar & Monte - Da Mighty Uff Duh Twins

::well, as luck would haff it, Pepper is out in the woods in hims little woodshed and him is making chocorat turtle candies for hims annual "After Easter Candy Clearance Sale". Pepper is wearing hims Tommy Helfigger polo shirt and Dockers Khaki pants. Pepper like to look stylish when him make candy, but that neither here nor there.

Pepper glance up from the pot of boiling chocorat just in time to see Binny and Dextuh whiz by in they car on they way to somewhere. Pepper quick drop what him doing and hop onto hims little Segway scooter and follow Binny and Dextuh over to the park. Pepper hide behind a tree and spy on Binny and Dextuh. Peppr see them unload a whole bunch of tools and stuff*.

Vinny", inquire Dexx "Wot in da wurld is dis?". Him hold up a peculiar battery operated thing wot appear not to haf any construction use wot so eber. "It's from my Mom's toolbox", snort Vinny, "and it furry important"

Pepper hear Dexx ask Binny about that particular tool and Pepper recognizes right off what it is. Pepper chuckle to him ownself on accounta because Pepper's mom-julie got one in her tool box too but that neither here nor there.....

Anyway, Pepper watches as Dexx and Binny chew they tobaccy and hammer and saw and chisel this and that. Finally Pepper get up enough nerve and pop out from behind the tree and screech "BOO!" at the top of hims lungs and it just about scare Binny and Dexx to deaf. Hee Hee Hee Hee giggle Pepper to him ownself.::::

Hey! You guys. Whatcha doink? Can I help? Huh, can I? :leads Pepper to the point of tears:::

I want to help. Whatcha building? ::says Pepper as him pull out hims little hankie to wipe hims nose. This hankie is the one with the sweet, little tulips on it. And, of course, the tatting around the edge. It one of Pepper's favorite springtime hankies:::
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

Gonzilly, who is up in the tree observing Vinny and Dexryh doing all of the work, sees Pepper sneaking up on Vinny and Dextuh. He sees Pepper peekaboo them and giggles his tails off! Gonzilly decides to do the same thing. Gonzilly yells down peekaboo from the top of the tree and screems so loud he scares himself. He falls out of the tree and crashes down on Vinny and Dextuh's project. Luckily, the tool box breaks Gonzilly's fall. All is well and good except for a few tools that were crushed to death. too bad so sad........

Gonzilly shakes it off and asks to join into the craft project instead of watching from on top of the tree. What are we making anyway?

GOnzilly puts on his fancy tool belt and hard hat, ready to pound a few nails.......
-----
Gonzo, Stumpy, and Willy

All is well and good except for a few tools that were crushed to death. too bad so sad........
>>
>>Gonzilly shakes it off and asks to join into the craft project instead of watching from on top of the tree. What are we making anyway?
*********************************************

::Vinny iz prakly horriffied wen him see wat Gonzo doned to hims mommy's tool. Him finking her is gonta be berry crabby. But den him wemember dat her haz otherz not xctly da same but similarlyy importent. Vinny shrug and suggest dey all goes haf sum lunch.

:a boyz (yeaaaaaaaaah) go to da greezy spoon pwace an eats all kindz uf fings dey culdnt haf if der wuz girlz der. NO SALAD. Onion ringz. Garlik balls. Frenche fwies made in crisco. Fat back ribz. Pigz nucklez. Hot g*ggies wit hot chili and burgirs wif 70 percent gwound beef wat leavez a greeze puddle on da plate. NO UDDER VEGTABLILES BUT DA TATERZ.Dey share all da foodie togetter, eatink owt uf one hugge plate wit der fingerz an no forkz an talkink wif der moufs full. Vinny pour ketchup all ober efuryfing an drips burger greaze on hims Gwateful Dead Tshirt fwom daddy's hippy days. Dey wash da food down wif imported nip beer, da dark ale kind, drunked rite owt uf da bottles wich dem opeined wit der toofers. Fer dezert dey haf double chokrat cake wif stwawberriz an whippiedd cweam. NO FRUIT.

Aftur da plate all emptied, da boys (yeaaaaaaaaa) haf a burpink contest and also a contezt from da udder end. DEXXTUH lite a match wen it hims turn an him blow Peppir owt da door. After dey write der namez in da stweet, if youse gits my drifft, dey goes back to work but nobody want to do nuthin::

dey goes back to work but nobody want to do nuthin::

Go figger!! :::says Pepper as him pick him ownself up off the street after Dextuh lite the match and blowed him away:::

Well, so, but, anyway, we need a plan here. Let's go catch the monday night baseball game and haff some popcorn, peanuts and beer until we get up some energy. I just starved!! Love, Pepper
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

>>dey goes back to work but nobody want to do nuthin::
>>
>>Go figger!! :::says Pepper as him pick him ownself up off the street after Dextuh lite the match and blowed him away:::
>>

Gonzilly, Vinny and Dextuh follow behind Peper to the baseball field giggling behind his back cuz Pepper's fur is all singed off and it looks like he got a really bad perm!!!!!!

Gonzilly gets his mitt just in case he can catch a fly ball and get it autographed by some famous baseball player and then sell the ball on Ebay for big bucks........

So the boys all get to the game, but nokit wants to sit by pepper cuz well, his fur stinks, and no kit wants to sit by dex, cuz well, he leaked a bit during the firings, so gonzilly and Vinny sit together and Dex and Peper sit behind them and to the left. Just as expected, a fly ball flew up to the boys and thwacked Vinny right in the head. Vinny was all smart allicky before the game and said I don't need no stinking mitt!

Gonzilly got the bounce off of Vinny's head and the fly ball is his.

Hopefully he can get a good price for it still with the little blood stain on it. He is sure Vinny will be fine but the boys take off to the first aid station just in case.............

-----
Gonzo, Stumpy, and Willy

Just as expected, a fly ball flew up to the boys and thwacked Vinny right in the head. Vinny was all smart allicky before the game and said I don't need no stinking mitt!
>>
>>Gonzilly got the bounce off of Vinny's head and the fly ball is his.
>>
>>Hopefully he can get a good price for it still with the little blood stain on it. He is sure Vinny will be fine but the boys take off to the first aid station just in case.............
************************************************
:::Vinny yell owt as dey stroll to da furst aid stand:::

"Culd youse hurry up, I iz runnink owt uf blood!!!"

:::THen vinny go silent fer da rest uf da walk till him gits to da furst aid stand, hims eyez all glazed ober. Him finally speek an da boys git a little nerbous::

"Iz a widdle T pot shortt an stoutt
her iz my handle der iz my spout
wen i gits all steamed up den i showt
jus tip me ober an pour mee owt!"

:::Dexx an GOnzilly an Peppir stand der an blink an vinny speek sum more:

"Itzy bitzy spider down da water spout
down comed da rain an wash da spider owwwwwwwwwwt"

"Mayyyy da bird uf paradize fly up her nooooose
May da elephant carress youse wif his toesssssssss.......

"Wow lookit da LIGHTZZZZZ!!"

Sigh......wot a bunch ob slackers.

*Note: The term 'bitch' in this thread refers to 'goggie' therefore makink it eggsempt from any profanity laws...neener, neener, neener
-----

Dextuh - Kink ob da Scandahoovian Forest Minkys
Morgan Le Fay - aka 'Hoover da Dust Bunny Muncher'
Oscar & Monte - Da Mighty Uff Duh Twins

Note: The term 'bitch' in this thread refers to 'goggie' therefore makink it eggsempt from any profanity laws...neener, neener, neener

MOL yeah, and when I said the word "ass" i was referring to a mule.. but that neither here nor there.

Anyway, i want the room what got the mirrowed walls. I gonna turn that into something you won't believe. Closed-circuit TVs and everything. Just you all wait. Love, Pepper
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

>>Note: The term 'bitch' in this thread refers to 'goggie' therefore makink it eggsempt from any profanity laws...neener, neener, neener
>>
>>
>>MOL yeah, and when I said the word "ass" i was referring to a mule.. but that neither here nor there.
>>
*************************************************
::Vinny becomes temporarily cognizant:::

Yeah dat ryte and and my mommy's tool box is berry portant too cause her doez all da howse repairs annaconta her says daddy don't know hims uh...wateffur... fwom a hammer.

:::Vinny rubs him head and wanders off:::

"Would youse lyke to swing on a starr?
Carry moonbeemz home in a jar?
An be better off den youse is...uh are?
Or wuldju ratter be a mule???"

>>Well, so, but, anyway, we need a plan here. Let's go catch the monday night baseball game and haff some popcorn, peanuts and beer until we get up some energy. I just starved!! Love, Pepper
>>-----
>> Pepper (one, fine, little dood)
****************************************
Well geeze ifn I thowt we wuz gonta do DAT, I woulda wore my white undershirtt wit da yellow stainz under da arms!!!

::Giz arrive at da scene an cant believe wat him sees. Him had gone to pick owt da cigarz fer da cigarz bar. Fuente Double Coronaz. Don Tomas an Partagas Robustoz. Da fat stuff fer REEL MEN. Yeaaaaaaaaaaa. Him plopped down da box uf Dominican smokes and reconnoiter::

:epperz butt iz all burnt an him smell suspishously uf sulfer an methane. Worser yet, Vinny wanderink arownd rubbink hims head an mumbling an singink stoopid fings lyke Does yer chewink gum lose it flabor on da bedpost obernight. Giz lite up a Macanudo panatella just to cover up da smell uf dese guys. Him put hims pawkies on him hips an do a chiggin bob::

"Wat da H iz goink on here!! I brung da cigarz an mommy sent me ober here to find her uh...tool and youse guys looks like hell....make dat HECK!"

::Giz pull out a Tshirt fwom hims knapsack wat says SUPERIVIZOR on it and put it on:::

"Okey youse girliez! Lift dat hoe! Toe dat bar!! Heeve ho!! Haul yer buttz!!!"

:a udders jus stare at Giz an Vinny wander up to Giz and sing two barz uf::

"Did youse eber haf to make up yer minds
to pick up on one an leeve da udder behind?
It not oftin easy it not oftin kind,
didjus eber haf to makes up yer mind???"

::epper curls up in the fetal position and hide him face. Him just know that when this thread meets the light of day, him gonna get in big, bad trouble just like last week. WAAA WAAA WAA The you-know-what-gonna-hit-the-fan. Pepper just fearing the day that you-know-who sees this. Pepper ball himself up in a tite little package and sniff and cry softly::::
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

>>::epper curls up in the fetal position and hide him face. Him just know that when this thread meets the light of day, him gonna get in big, bad trouble just like last week. WAAA WAAA WAA The you-know-what-gonna-hit-the-fan. Pepper just fearing the day that you-know-who sees this. Pepper ball himself up in a tite little package and sniff and cry softly::::
>>-----
>> Pepper (one, fine, little dood)
************************************************

Lissen Peppir, fer da ryte price I culd be convincced not to tell. Mreheh.

I don't care who knows what or who knows who or whatever you is sayink Pepper. All I knows is I caught BBBBB (Barry Bonds Best BaseBall) and it is gonna be worf a fortune on EBAY! I am gonna sell it and wiff my winninks I am gonna buy a special room in this here fun house filled wiff a million lizards for me to hunt. sort of like a wild hunting range, but we stock it wiff a billion lizards!

I knew it was a great day for goink to a baseball game. I could just feel it in my bones!!!!!

I think wiff the extra moneys what aint being used to pay for lizards should be used for a spa day for all us boys. You guys look like hell! And that aint meant as a bad word, it is meant as a descriptive word. afterall, just looks at yourself all bludgeoned and stinky and singed. And giz could use a good ole mud bathand facial scrub himownself. I heard he used to be a solid white cat!!!!!

So, who runs the spa in town? Who you got to call to get a good day of treatments in this here town>? SOmeone hand me a shellaphone and hand it to me quick. It aint looking so good let me tell you!!!!!

gonzilly

-----
Gonzo, Stumpy, and Willy

>>I think wiff the extra moneys what aint being used to pay for lizards should be used for a spa day for all us boys. You guys look like hell! And that aint meant as a bad word, it is meant as a descriptive word. afterall, just looks at yourself all bludgeoned and stinky and singed. And giz could use a good ole mud bathand facial scrub himownself. I heard he used to be a solid white cat!!!!!

***********************************************************
I iz a tuxie!!! And I iz CLEEN!!! An YOUSE shuld talk Gonzo. Carefull xaminashun uf dat pikture uf you and Willy reveels dat der is sumpfing berry obsceene bowt da juxtaposition uf yer tail. An worster yet, it lookz lyke Willy LIKEZ it cause him back foot iz curled undir. Moreofur, der are orginizashuns wat raise money to midikally sepirate kits lyke youse. Sekondly, you aint selling dat baseball wit my litle bwudder's blood on it unless youse share da profit wit him. I iz speeking for him on dis annaconta him is in da cornir rite now singing
"Da Anaheim Assusa and Cucamonga Sewing Circle, Book Review and Timing Association" song.

Note: Da word Obsceene in dis post is used in da context uf "strange" rathir den as in dirty fings.

:epper sees that 24 hours haff passed by without the you-know-who seeing this thread and jumping down on him like a duck on a June Bug, so Pepper picks himself up, dabs at hims tear-stained eyes with hims hankie. This one is a brand new hankie, every!! It adorable. It got little monkeys blowing horns on it. How clever and imaginative!! No end to what the hankie-makers will think of next!! But, that neither here nor there.

Pepper decide to be brave and he not gonna sniffle and worry about you-know-who seeing this thread and beatin upside hims head. Him gonna turn over a new leaf and be a big, brave mankit. Yes, indeed. It a brand new day here too.

Pepper decide that the house of fun should have a room with a big screen tv, a bar, a popcorn macheen, a pool table, a dart board, all the DVDs and CDs ever produced. Him gonna get to work on that right away. Yes, indeed, it a brand new day.

And, btw, the words "monkeys blowing horns" is not nasty nor obscene. That what they really are. MOL And, the words "hankie makers" is used on in the most innocent of context. Not to be confused with hankie makers, the nasty kind.

Love, Pepper
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

Firstly mr. gizster, I am sharing all the wealth with everykit. I am taking us all to a spa and such to pamper ourselves and all. B. I am building the lizard hunting forest for all of us kits to use. and fourthly, I offered Vinny a mitt but he was to cocky to take one saying he can catch the ball wiffout. Well I know better. THat barry bondskit takes steroids. I am keeping a glove with me at all times, and I wear protective cup gear to cover my neuticals. I have sensitive places you know. Plus I put in a pouch guard to protect my pouch.

So anyhow, get yourself geared up for some fancy lizard hunting! How is your room coming along? Hmmmmmm????????

p.s. The terms neutical, cocky and ball, and bondskit are to be taken for their descriptive meaning and nothing else........

gonadzilly ::::::::::::::and my name should be taken the same way as well:::::::::::::
-----
Gonzo, Stumpy, and Willy

>>Firstly mr. gizster, I am sharing all the wealth with everykit. >>So anyhow, get yourself geared up for some fancy lizard hunting! How is your room coming along? Hmmmmmm????????
>>
>>p.s. The terms neutical, cocky and ball, and bondskit are to be taken for their descriptive meaning and nothing else........
>>
>>gonadzilly ::::::::::::::and my name should be taken the same way as well:::::::::::::
**********************************************
::Gizmo watchez Vinny circle da room an paw each corner in pantametir while singink "Da Ladies Uf Da Harem uf Da Court uf King Harackadus Were Just Passing By":::

Lissin little gonads*, I haf a widdle bwudder here wat is prakly bwain damajed, thow I admitt it hard too access just how much him haz changed sintce dat fatefull collishion wit da ball youse is sellink. I haf no tyme fer any room renovashuns as I haf all I kin do to keep dis widdle twit fwom bangink hims head agin. Caint we at leest find a use fer him now dat him is in dis...uh state? Maybe we kin use him fer sekond base? Or a coat rackk durink hims rehabilitashun witch will be paid fer fwom yer pwofitz at Ebay? Doez I haf to bwing Flea Bailey into dis?

*Note: Gonads wuze used here in da contekxt uf da intent dat gonad iz danog bakwardz. It wuz not to implly da ekzistance uf small gonads but rathir da exzitence uf small danogs. Ball referr to da ball wat hit Vinny head az in base type ball.

Gonzo passes a helmet to Vinny.

Here you go buddy. I am gonna put this here helmet on your noggin for your own purrrtection. You keep banging your head against the wall and you are gonna have a brain leak iffin you aren't careful.

Now, I think we all worked hard today on preliminary plans, except for you Vinny, but you can make up for it tomorrow. I say we start a new thread tomorrow by the name of day number 2 or something. and by number 2 I am not referring to a bodily function, I mean of the second day. and also by head I was referring to your skull, Vinny and nuffing else.

gonzo
-----
Gonzo, Stumpy, and Willy

:::well, so, but, anyway, Pepper finishes up the room of which he was responsible. It like the entertainment room for menkits. Pepper got the big, hooge TV screen in there all by himownself and he hung interesting wallpaper. The wallpaper gots little mice playing sports. There is a mouse playing baseball and a mouse bowling a ball and all sorts of stuff like that. It reel cute wallpaper. And, it's hung very well.

Pepper dust off hims paws and go outside and see if him can find the other kits. Perhaps they would like to take a break and get a bite of lunch. Vinny is planting some plants and bushes around the place and it looking very comfy and homey. Gonzo and Dextuh and Vinny and Pepper gonna haff a blast when this place is finished.

DISCLAIMER: The words "hung very well" are not obscene. They are adjectives to describe the wallpaper; nothing else. The word "bushes" is not obscene either. It an adjective too.

Love, Pepper
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

::::::Munchie finally fownds dis thread and falls ober dead after laffing so hard she can't control her bodily functions::::

*note: bodily functions iz not meant in da deregatory sense..it meens functions ob da body...what we all haf...and nuffink more.
-----
Munchie & the Catnip Crew

>>*note: bodily functions iz not meant in da deregatory sense..it meens functions ob da body...what we all haf...and nuffink more.
>>-----
>>Munchie & the Catnip Crew
**********************************************
::Giz stare at da puddil underneeth Munchie:::

Munchie, I fink youse underroggitory body funcshins is leekink

epper curls up in the fetal position and hide him face. Him just know that when this thread meets the light of day, him gonna get in big, bad trouble just like last week. WAAA WAAA WAA The you-know-what-gonna-hit-the-fan. Pepper just fearing the day that you-know-who sees this. Pepper ball himself up in a tite little package and sniff and cry softly::::

I forgot to write my disclaimer for this post from the odder night. A mere oversight on my part on accounta because I was scairt to deaf.

But, fetal position not an obscene term used in this context. It just a term. period.
Period not a feminine term used in this context. It used as an end to a statement.
"ball and tite little package" not nasty. they just the only words that sprang into my mind at the time and I swear my mind not in the gutter where it usually is.

sorry i forgetted to add my disclaimer earlier. I won't let that happen again.... Love, Pepper
-----
Pepper (one, fine, little dood)