Reptile & Amphibian Forums

::epper arises early in the a.m. and puts on hims white pants and hims red, white and bloo polo shirt and hims soft-as-butter leather deck shoos and hims natty little sailor hat. Him had hims XXXX-tight perm yesserday and hims facial and to tell the absolute truth, Pepper look like a billionaire hunka-hunka lovin' mankit. Him never ever lookeed bedder. Him look like a million bucks.

Pepper go over to the marina and spot the yacht belonging to Giz DaElder Nutcase and Flea Bailey, Esquire. Pepper got a bottle of Dom Perginon champagne in each paw and him see the new name engraved on the back of the yacht. To save $$$, instead of saying "Pepper Paid For It"... it just have "PPFIT" and Pepper start giggling because it remind him of when he had to pass a little gas in the library the odder day and wanted to do it indiscreetly and it camed out making a little farty sound ..."pppppppppfffffitttt". Just like those letters. MOL But that all neither here nor there.

Pepper call out "Hallow There! Ahoy Mates!! It me, Pepper!! I here!".. but no buddy on the yacht apparently. So, pepper climb aboard all by himself and have a look around. It cross him mind that if he take the boat out to sea, no buddy would ever know what happened to him if he not comed back. There no buddy on earth know where he is right now and he could sail far, far out and pretend to disappear and start a new identity. These thoughts crossing hims mind just when he see Giz and Flea walking down the boardwalk towards the ship....::::
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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

::Giz an Flea all smiles an dapper as dem wallk toward da froot::

I gonta leef dis one to youse Flea. I no fink I kin tallk an keeps a strait face at da same time.
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Premium cat food, $1.49 a can
Bowl uf Poland Springs water, $.50
Warm bed to sleep in, Free
A perfekt tuxie such as myownself, Pwiceless

Gettink Kickeded Downstairs Not Goot Fer Resume But Who Wantz To Work?

Peppir ole buddy! Giz dont him lookz greaaaat! I luff yer hanky! Are dose little yachts on dere???

Lissten buddy lets sign da pappers fer da land an den haf luntch. Now lissen, da acreage iz a little smaller acouse uf da qwick sand but no big deel. An da howse fer da frog iz beink bilt efun as wee speek. Jus da rite size fer a frog. Lissen buddy afore youse sign, I wants to gif youse dis chek fer $10,000 like I promissed as a tokin uf my esteem. Does youse gots da finders fee check fer $20,000 wit youse?

Gonzo charges down the dock crashing into everything in sight and jumps on the boat screaming:::::

WAIT!!! STOPPPPPPP!!!!

::::::every looks at gonzo and flea and giz worry a little that gonzo will aluminum foil their plans::::::::::

Can I be Gilligan?

:::::Flea and Giz regain their smiles and continue with their Pepper business::::::::::

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Gonzo, WoooLee, Stumpy and Squashy

Yo Giz heer come dat food junkie draggink da uddir cat fwom hims tail. Haf da butler trow a bunch of shrimps owt to keeps him bizy. Trow sum lobstir in dere too.

Good Gawd in da mornin'.....I gonna hafta take stock in windex iffin you kits keep on makin' mom squirt stuffs outta her mouf all ober da monitor!
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Munchie & the Catnip Crew

Ash wake up early in da mornink to da luffly smells ob Shrimp and lobster... him crack an eyeboll and follow hims nose..

ooooh other smells.. wot is dat.... oh it jus Vinny .. him needs a baff .. but dat not wot smells good...

Him goes back on hims search ob da shrimp and lobster and bumps into Gonzo who is eatink himself siwwy on da dock aside ob a big hugical yacht.

Moob ober Gonzo dere enuff fur me too...

skarf skarf munch munch.... burrrrrrrppppp

How comes all dis good food is out here? And wots da deal on dat yacht? I hears a bunch ob bumpink and thumpink and yowlink.. Mebbe we shood go check and see wot happenink after we eat up all dis food...

Ashums
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Meows and Headbonks

Ash, Zade and Antares

::Flea hand pepper da pen an him sign an hand ofur da twenty thousand dollir an Flea gif him da ten thowsand dollir while Giz tousel wif Gonzo ofur a lobstir tail. Flea knows him kits an Gonzo iz a chow hownd:::

Listen buddy it time to parrty! Don let any uf yer jelus fwiends tell you no diffrent, youse IS da PAID FOR BY PEPPER!

Letz ROCK!

Don't Bogart the crustacean Ashum! I gots a belly to fill and this is free grub. Soon I am gonna be Gilligan of that sailink vessel and I am sure I will aground on the shore of a desert isle after a three hour tour. It is all in da song below. Who are you gonna be on da ship Ashum? You want to be da professor? You are a pretty smart dude. I am Gilligan, Pepper is the skipper, Giz is the millionare and he will be needing somekit to play his wife. We need the movie star Ginger, mary ann, da real hot one in a non pretentious way, and the professor. I figure out of all dem choices you would choose the professor, but it is up to you. You think about it while I chow down on the rest of the lobster and packed food supplies. Iffin we are gonna be deserted on an island we might as well do it with only coconuts and papayas and none of these lobsters and shrimps. They will just spoil in the heat.

Gonzo

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour, a three hour tour………
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle
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Gonzo, WoooLee, Stumpy and Squashy

::Flea smile down on da dek where ashum an gonzo making seafood pigs uf demownselfs, suckink down jumbo shrimps an snarfink down efury tail an claw an guzzlink dom perignon.

Jaysus, if youse scuse da vernakular. Dem too look like da movie, "It's Alive!". I hopes dem no akssidently eet da dek chairz.

::epper twirls and whirls and swirls in circles on hims tippy toes around the deck of the yacht having had way too much dom perignon and some rum frooty drink called "The Yacht Special" that Flea been serving him non-stop since early afternoon. Pepper feel reel good about the events of the day. Him paid Flea the Finders' Fee and then Flea so graciously paid him a Thank You gift of $10,000 beeg ones. Pepper is thrilled. Him never thinked that him would become best buddy buds with Flea and Giz Da Nuthead.

They all is sailing off into the sunset and Gonzo and Ashums are eating like they no tomorrow. Pepper not had one tiny morsel of food all day long; only the drinks. Pepper trying to lose some weight on accounta (c. Binny 601 BC) because every keep teasing Pepper about hims tummy and split seam in hims belly.

Pepper take off hims white slacks and him polo shirt. It too hot on the deck in the sunshine. Him only gots hims lavender silk thong unnerpants on and of course, the soft-as-butter leather deck shoos. Him sweating up a storm. Him perspiring. Him dancing and singing the Gilligan Island theme at the top of hims lungs.

This gonna be quite an adventure. The yacht with the kits aboard sails farther and farther from shore. Destination unknown. Pepper feel a little bit nauseous and he hope he don't got to throw up all over the deck!!:::

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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

Pepper, you are the skipper of this vessel and you are passink out and ready to barf on the deck? This aint Gilligan's Island, this is the remake of the Exxon Valdeze crash. Sober up and get back to steering. We got a deserted Island to find and crash into and I am hoping it is somewhere tropical and not in Alaska!

gonzo
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Gonzo, WoooLee, Stumpy and Squashy

::Giz an Flea look down on da lowlifes parrtyink below. Dem dansink an singink da stoopit song fwom TV an provink beyond a doubt dat you cannot make a silk purrse owt uf a sow's eer:::

Jaysus Flea I glad we got dis boat inshured up da ying yang. I aint seen nuthin like dis sinse we akksidently drove tru dat neborhoood in Mew York City. I better call us da helikoptor an gits us da fershunk off dis boat:::

::Giz watch Peppir hurl all ober da new dek an him grab hims cell fone:::
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Premium cat food, $1.49 a can
Bowl uf Poland Springs water, $.50
Warm bed to sleep in, Free
A perfekt tuxie such as myownself, Pwiceless

Gettink Kickeded Downstairs Not Goot Fer Resume But Who Wantz To Work?

I wants to be Ginger please I wanna be.....

kiddink!

No one cood wear a dwess better den Peppurr, so I think I'll be da Professor. I likes to feegur things out!

Ashums
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Meows and Headbonks

Ash, Zade and Antares

>>I wants to be Ginger please I wanna be.....
>>
One fing fur sure...ain't no way in hell I'm gettink on dat boat wif you nitwits. Look how long da Minnow was lost. Wif youz all fur a crew, I wud neffur get home. I wud spend da rest ob my life wif seaweed hair an a coconut brazooty, shakink my tushie in some lamearse produkshun ob Souf Pacific for FLeaBailys amusement.

Bon Voyage, mateees...

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Dextuh - Kink ob da Scandahoovian Forest Minkys
Oskar & Monte - Da Mighty Uff Duh Twins

Every party has a pooper every pooper has a party that's why we invited you!

Phthththtttttt dextuh!!!

>>Phthththtttttt dextuh!!!..>>

I jus know dis is goink to be trouble...I jus KNOW it.

As da dingy sail closer, him hear da squeelink an gigglink ob da uffer kits. BAM...BAM...Pepper is shootink skeet from da poop deck. Him pop a couple sea sickness pills an say a prayer.
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Dextuh - Kink ob da Scandahoovian Forest Minkys
Oskar & Monte - Da Mighty Uff Dah Twins

Gonzo giggles as he sees dextuh doggy paddling out of the dingy to the yacht with his blow up floatation devices on his arms that are all 4 different disney characters. He has Mickey on his left arm, Donald on the right, Goofy on the left leg and Winnie ther pooh on the right. he is soaking wet to the bone including his napsack that has his walkie talkies, GPS equipment, home computer, radar, and flare gun which are now all destroyed from water damage.

What a maroooon!!!!

::Giz an Flea watch da helokoptor towch down on da yacht pad an it barely touch da deck afore da bof of dem hop in:::

Gits us da fershtunk owt uf heer away fwom dese nutcasez! Fast!

::Giz an Flea watch as da ship git smallir an smallir. Dem wave at da goofs on deck an smile:::

It wuz a nice yacht Flea. But letz face it, it doomed. I'm gonna miss it. Ah well at leest we wont haf to name da replasement aftur that little froot. Letz haf luntch.
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Premium cat food, $1.49 a can
Bowl uf Poland Springs water, $.50
Warm bed to sleep in, Free
A perfekt tuxie such as myownself, Pwiceless

Gettink Kickeded Downstairs Not Goot Fer Resume But Who Wantz To Work?

:::meanwhile Pepper who haff overcomed hims sea sickness and who wishes him could be Ginger, grab the bull horn and screech to all those aboard:::

Ahoy Mates! Now that we unloaded the ship of the riff raff and "useless cargo" MOL, I pleased to form you that we are on course for Tahiti! Land of the gorgeous, bronze-furred gurl kits what got curves to make hour glasses blush. I hope every brought they suntan lotion and little else! ::wink, wink, wink::

We will be there in precisely 2 more days. Enjoy the amentitities of this here ship because as you all can plainly see by the name of the end there, I am the boat's new owner!!

Yo Ho! Yo Ho!! It's off to Tahiti we go!! There she blow!!

::says Pepper raising hims champagne glass for a toast to the cheers and standing ovation of every aboard:::
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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

Gonzo slathers himself with suntanning lotion and zinc on the nose to prevent a burn.

I am working on getting my furs to match my peppeperopoppas. Anyhow, nobody talk to me or disturb me today until 4:30 pm pacific time cuz that is how long I am going to be here asleep on the deck in the sun and I can not and will not respond to any of your foolish statements until then.

gozno
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Gonzo, WoooLee, Stumpy and Squashy

a toast to the cheers and standing ovation of every aboard
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I here, I here. Me was sittin inside spinnin the roolette wheel and tryin to increase my "stakes" not steaks! mol.

Will dere be entertainment on board? I'm always lookin furr movin, groovin, twistin and turnin.
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ZOE
New York Cat

>>4:30 pm pacific time cuz that is how long I am going to be here asleep on the deck in the sun and I can not and will not respond to any of your foolish statements until then>>

It now 7:30pm EST which mean it 4:30pm pacific. Dexx stand ober Gonzo wearink hims big straw hat, hikink boots, a life preserfer, floaties an haf a inner tube around hims waist. Him still nerbously clutchink hims GPS Emergency radio an haf slathered himsownself in Dawn Dishsoap to repel da sharks. Him is shiverink an scared. Now Dexx haf been a anal retentive puss* from time to time but no one eber quite seen him like dis.

* Yep, uh huh dat's wot I said
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Dextuh - Kink ob da Scandahoovian Forest Minkys
Oskar & Monte - Da Mighty Uff Dah Twins

So anyways we jus were wonderink if da poop deck is where we poop?
And we also was wonderink if we is headed to Tahiti how comes we see iceburgs out here?
And we wanna know if dere any entertainment on dis here boat? Huh Huh? We wanna know!!!!

Ashums
(whos weally glad him as long furz cause him wood be freezink to deaf if him didnt haff said furz!)
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Meows and Headbonks

Ash, Zade and Antares

>>Ahoy Mates! Now that we unloaded the ship of the riff raff and "useless cargo" MOL, I pleased to form you that we are on course for Tahiti!

:epper's mouf so big Flea an Giz kin heer hims big mouf on da bullhorn as da koptor rises:::

Jaysus Flea, dem headink fer Iceland!

::Giz blow kisses:::

G'bye Boat...it been nice.
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Premium cat food, $1.49 a can
Bowl uf Poland Springs water, $.50
Warm bed to sleep in, Free
A perfekt tuxie such as myownself, Pwiceless

Gettink Kickeded Downstairs Not Goot Fer Resume But Who Wantz To Work?

we is headed to Tahiti how comes we see iceburgs out here
-------------

remember the Titanic?
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ZOE
New York Cat

And we also was wonderink if we is headed to Tahiti how comes we see iceburgs out here?

::actually pepper was wunnering about this little detail too. Perplexing hims hollow head as a matter of fact. :::

Um, yes I do remember the Titanic, Zoe. Thanks for bringing up the memories. NOT!! MOL

Woe is me. I wunder how do one use this sexton instrument any ol way?

::Says Pepper toying with the whatcha callit:::
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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

I wunder how do one use this sexton instrument any ol way?
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According to my knowledge of using the sexton properly, it is for measuring purrposes, yeah or nah ... and measuring when one is out on the high seas, not in the privacy of their home.

MOL - u tawt it was used to measure udder tingys, I know what you all are tinkin!

By the way Pepper, ware did you get that sexton?
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ZOE
New York Cat

By the way Pepper, ware did you get that sexton?

I started to reply that I got it at the "Sextons R Us" place where they sell other.. um.... romantical things...

But alas I confess. I got it on eBay.

Love Pepper
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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

I got it on eBay
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I hope it was not used, mol.
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ZOE
New York Cat

:ago peer-a outa da galley portal-a. Him see a bigga icea berga::

O Momma mia! I hopea I notta cookinga da lasta supper-a!

:::things are getting a little tense aboard the ship. Pepper vigorously shakes the sexton and hold it up close to hims ear. It making ticking sound. Which not good thing btw. Pepper shakes and shakes it hoping the little dials will move even a little bit which would be most encouraging about now.

This a serious situation and Pepper can see worried and stressful look in members of the guests aboard said ship. Pepper know it quite important for a ship's captain to remain calm and have appearance that all is well. So Pepper put down sexton and begin shaking martini shaker instead and offers every a chocorat martini and a bit of crackers and cheese.

He grin a little bit; looking quite like Mona Lisa portrait in some respect. and hope every remain not panicky in sight of approaching big chunk of iceberg coming closer and closer.::

Woe is me, think Pepper to himownself as he drink a couple more martinis.
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Pepper (one, fine, little dood)

I hopea I notta cookinga da lasta supper-a
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well Dago Dog if you iz not-a cookin da lasta supper furr me-a and you'a, we're all goin down-a together.

By the way ... do you swim - back stroke or breast stroke? MOL
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ZOE
New York Cat