Reptile & Amphibian Forums

Acceptance... no, understanding...

realizing that I actually killed R whee.... He didn't want to open his mouth, and i had to pry it open four different times. He just didn't want to go.... but i knew he was beyond all the help i could give, he cried out when i moved him... and not in a whee way, but an awful pain way...

I forced pills donw his little throat, and tried to talk him to the bridge... but every time i talked with him he would fight harder to stay alive!!!
I finally had to "reload the syringe" 3 other times, and pry his little mouth open to accept this death.... and... sob.... i had to stop talking with him, so he would quit fighting...

this is why i just can't... can't talk about it more than this... but want u, all R deeriss furrends to know why i'm just not making it through this as well as i would like to.
Taking Oxy and wheelow, different times, to leave us was so much easier. It wasn't my call, ok, it was, but i wasn't the one doing it.

Now, i can't get the last picture of him fighting me not 2 take that last syringe....

(not so much looking for acdeptace, just understanding why/how this is hitting me so hard....)

luf u with all of whees hawrt, wheesmom
-----
u is whees hawrt, u is whees home, u is whees family, .... {{{{{lufs u more dan u cood knows...}}}}

Dis frum mom but we's sekund it...........Stop doing this to yourself. You did what was best for Sammy. You loved him unconditionally and when he was way too ill to keep going you helped him out of his pain. Yes, it was your call but you did it because you loved him so much. To have kept him any longer when he could hardly move would have been more inhumane. Him fighting taking something wasn't any different than any of the kits fighting taking anything. None of them are easy patients. It would have been the same behavior if he just hadn't wanted to take a bite of some kind of food. Just breathing but not being able to do what one wants isn't good life for kits or humans. You know that Sammy's quality of life had gone downhill steadily. That final decision had to be made and deep down you know it was the right thing to do. To torture yourself is not something that Sammy would like; he loved you, too. Being sad about having to say a goodbye to any of our loved creatures is normal and getting through the grief takes different forms and lengths of time. Think of the lovely times you were able to have with him and be grateful for all those years, as Sammy was grateful that you gave him a wonderful, cared-for life. He knows you love him. Don't beat yourself up for doing the right thing.
Otay, now we addin ower hedbonks an purrs. Sumtimes ower mom sez too much but we tink hurr rite on dis kownt. Sammy luffed you; you luffed Sammy. You taked da bestest care ob him possybull, eben tho it hurrted your hart to haff to let him go.

Patti,

Read and re-read what Kaye has written to you because she knows exactly what she is talking about. You are making yourself sick over something that was the correct thing to do under the circumstances. To beat yourself up is not accomplishing anything and it will only prolong your grief. It is more than natural that you are sad but please do not second guess your actions. You relieved Sammy of pain and he'd had enough suffering at that point. He is in a better place. I repeat, He is in a better place. Let his memory be pleasant and happy; you owe that to him. Let him go. Love him enough to let him go. He can rest in peace and so must you.

We love you but you must over-come this intense pain. Think of the happy times you had with Sammy and re-read Kaye's message because she is right on.

Love you and feel for you....always... Julie

>>Patti,
>>
>>Read and re-read what Kaye has written to you because she knows exactly what she is talking about. You are making yourself sick over something that was the correct thing to do under the circumstances. To beat yourself up is not accomplishing anything and it will only prolong your grief. It is more than natural that you are sad but please do not second guess your actions. You relieved Sammy of pain and he'd had enough suffering at that point. He is in a better place. I repeat, He is in a better place. Let his memory be pleasant and happy; you owe that to him. Let him go. Love him enough to let him go. He can rest in peace and so must you.
>>
>>We love you but you must over-come this intense pain. Think of the happy times you had with Sammy and re-read Kaye's message because she is right on.
>>
>>Love you and feel for you....always... Julie

We totally agree. Sammy loved you and knew you loved him.

BamBam
-----
The Zoo Crew
BamBam and Cuddles

Whiskers, Minx, Misty, Boo, Patches and Tinkerbell will live forever in our hearts.

We all unnerstand, dear Wheesmom, and we be here wheneber you needs us. GLOW to you hart!
-----
The 8 Wiscats:
Henri
Simba
Annie-Claire
Sylvie-Chantal
Simone-Mireille
Poucette-Noelle
Andre-Guillaume
Madeleine-Louise Munchkin
In memory of precious and beloved angel kitties: Pierre (1979-1996), Louis Catorze (1984-2000), Giselle-Lizabeth (2005-2007), Monsieur Gervais le Blanc (1995-2007), Clochette-Giselle (2006-2007), The Excellent Lady Sophie-Marie (1990-2009), Beau (1992-2009), Miss Minette (Button) (1992-2010)
~~ plus varying numbers of foster kitties coming and going -- right now momcat Fancy with babies Thunder, Windy, Lightening, Stormy, Cloudy and Rainy, and momcat Latte with babies Espresso, Java and Cappuccino ~~

You did what was best for Sammy. He was suffering and you ended that for him. Sometimes the greatest act of love is letting go. You did. I am sure that he is happy and healthy at the Bridge and he understands. Love you.

Kaye is right on, to let him keep suffering would have been the "wrong" thing...its just too bad we are not allowed to help humans in the same way..you did the "right" thing, and the loving thing...
-----
Franci, Oreo, Caleb, Willow and Tita

sorry mine {{furrends}} coming and going... never sure if i can b here or not... love u all, and your words mean more to me than u could possibly imagine...

u're sammywheesmom
-----
u is whees hawrt, u is whees home, u is whees family, .... {{{{{lufs u more dan u cood knows...}}}}

Mom's steelin da pawbord agin. We're gonna hafe to grownd hurr frum it! Sheesh, hoomins!
Don't try to put a time line on it. Things will hit you even in the future. Just recognize that this, too, is normal. Heck, if we didn't love these wonderful creatures so much, things would be "easier" .....but then we wouldn't have shared such wonderful times with them. The old "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" bit but it is true.
None of us would trade a day of loving whichever special furbaby(ies)...even though sometimes that seems like it would be easier on our hearts. Nope, loving is better. Just like when one of us says something silly like "never again" but then we know that some little heart thief will show up and, even though it's not the same, we'll love that one in whatever way they teach us. Just hang in there and know that you were the best wheesmom Sammy could ever have had and he taught you lots about love! Hugs and headbonks.
peas an esses.....frum Medley...Yeah, I'm bein as cyoot an furriendly as I know how to be (which ain't sayin a lot) but I, a 15 pownder who looks more lyke a mini-coogar, haffin a tuff akt followin a liddle snugglie 6 pownd manx who sleept on da womin's arm effer nite. Still, I make a liddle progress when I sukkseed in makin da woman laff so dere is hope furr hurr yet.

Aunty Wheesmom, we just couldn't have said things any better than what Aunty Kaye alrwady wrote. She is absolutely right. What you did was done with all the love in your heart, it was the right thing...the only thing....you could have done and Sammy knows that. He loves you, he always will, just as you will always love him. It will taketime....a looooong time....to get over this. Just try and focus on the happier memories and think of all the wonderful things you and Sammy shared through the years. Let the sweet precious memories push away the grief......
We luff you furry much and send lots of headbonks and Glow. {{{{{}}}}}
-----
Luff,
The Catnip Crew....Riley, Ashley, Harley, Mushka and Nicky
In Loving Memory of our precious Bridge Angels:
Munchkin 8/95-6/09(mom's heart).....
Casey 8/93-2/11(mom's soul)......
Meadow 11/99-9/10 and Maddie 4/94-4/10

{{{Wheesmom}}} We could not have said it any better than Kaye and the others here. It's always a shock to the system to lose a beloved family member ... furry or otherwise. Remember that feelings of guilt and 'second guessing' are part of the grieving process, and it happens to everyone ... no matter what you do, you wonder 'what if ....' Many bigghuggs and lots of glow to you .... {{{ }}}

Lubby, SnowtaMom