I agree, when starting out is is extremely difficult.
A few years back when first starting with these absolute beauties,
I lost one, bought a pair and one died with in hours of arriving shipping is extremely stressful also.
I then ordered another, and it died, after staying on bottom for days.
Left me one male, evenually when I got set up right I ordered the female, and alls well for like I said almost 3 years.
When I first started, I had the coolest looking set up, with real moss and rock, and some limbs vines plants, heat, LOOKED great but was not working!
I then tore tank apart and started over. Got rid of moss and heat too ! I know most will cringe at that.
But... My reptile room is very warm during the day and at night the door is closed and heat stays in and they are fine at room temp.
I never use ANY substrate anymore. Nothing ! I have real plants for them. I have vines on the sides , I have limbs for climbing. I have a shallow water pool on bottom with a rock on waters edge.
But nothing else, just glass bottom, that like other poster said is wiped often.
Clean is the key, I agree. 
Eve