I have a client who owns a tract of property in the Sant Cruz Mtns. We got to talking one day and she told me about a terrible gopher problem she is experiencing in her new vineyard. She asked if there was any way I could attract gopher snakes to her property, so I agreed to take a look around.
As soon as I got there I noticed a small herd of alpacas and llamas, and about forty peacocks. A quick look at the vineyard revealed more gopher holes than I've ever seen in one small area.
I told her that, aside from the obvious problems (there aren't enough snakes in all of California to even put a dent in her rodent population,) she'd have to get rid of the feral animals first- especially the birds.
A couple of weeks later I went back asked how she'd gotten rid of so many peacocks in so short a time. She said that she'd stuffed them all in her mercedes and drove down to nearby Lexington Reservoir, where she tossed them out the window one at a time as she sped around the lake. (I would love to have seen that!)
Sadly, I had already noticed a sudden population of peacocks in an area I have carefully husbanded for decades. I told her about this, but it didn't matter--she couldn't see the peacocks and so they were no longer a problem, for her anyway. That they became someone else's problem was entirely beside the point. SHe then showed me her pond, where she was proud to point out the "beautiful bullfrogs" she'd painstakingly reared from tadpolehood. Previously she'd only seen "smaller ones." I asked if the "smaller ones" had red on their hind legs. Do I need to tell you the answer?
Then she proceeded to complain about a neighbor who was beginning to cut timber on the property abutting hers. Too bad, I told her. If she'd kept the red-legs she'd have been able to stop the logging. It turns out she'd even sued the next door neighbor, and Mid-Pen, but F & G had already established that there would be "no adverse effects on local native species." SO, she spent tens of thousands on a lawsuit that would have been a handsdown victory if she hadn't worked so hard to turn her entire property into a wasteland of alien species.
Now, she's telling me she doesn't care how much I want for catching as many pittuophis as I can to release on her vineyard. She's LOADED--and I mean stinkin' rich. (She's the ex-wife of a very famous Valley computer pioneer.)Any advice anyone?
