but your ball python morph reference has allowed me the opportunity to recycle this old story that I wrote a few years ago.When I posted this on the BP forum,some people cracked up and some were quite pissed.Your comments on this forum concerning integrades will make some angry,some will agree and some have seen it hashed and rehashed to death so often that they can't do anyhing but hopefully chuckle.Here is the story:
I am excited about some snakes that I am getting in next week in a trade,and want to share the true story.
This will be hard to believe,but I got this second hand, straight from an extremely unreliable source, that I could be getting some extremely rare Ball Python morphs in a trade next week.
The story goes that the parents of these beauties once belonged to an African Prince,and were stolen by an unscrupulous reptile dealer and were smuggled into the country(supposedly by Jared what's his name,the t.v. guy,in a bunch of Subway Sandwich buns,but I am not sure if it was the real Jared).
Anyway,I have purchased these beauties and will call the four that I would have posted pics of ..if this were the Python Classifieds and if I actually had the snakes,but it isn't and I don't...A-D. Would be D-A if you are reading this in a mirror or somewhat dyslexic,but go with me now.... Close your eyes and picture these babies,and see if you like what you don't really see,but could see if the pics were here and the...heck you know.
Baby A is not Het or Double Het,but is 100% Melatoninistic.Look at this sucker for a while and no need to count sheep or armidillos,this baby will put you to sleep.Not addictive either.
Baby B is proven het for Hypo.Fifty,Fifty folks.She or he,not sexed yet because it isn't here,is half Hypodermic,half Hypopottamus.So what?Huh,how much is the protection of family worth? Let's say you are on a canoe trip with the family,on a Tuesday.. (if you don't work or are laid off),and some loud- mouth roughnecks in a rubber dinghy,are making fun of your wife and kids and calling them butt-ugly or something.Even if it is true,turn this sucker loose and it will turn the dinghy over and drown them,or at the very least poke a hole in the boat and maybe they will drown anyway.Or maybe it won't and they will kick your arsk,however you got a fifty percent chance don't you?
Baby C is cool as well...it is a possible Xzantactic baby.No kidding, 100% possible.'Big freakin deal',you say,or perhaps shout if you have already spent this much time reading this post,but let me tell you what this same liar told me about this snake...You could listen to your wife,or husband, ,occasional pleasure partner,(that part is irrelevant),gripe at you non-stop,and eat a Taco from Manuel's Taco Mart,and hold this snake,and there is no chance of Gastric Reflux,Wake up in the middle of the night with esophogits,(the bad kind where you sort of puke,but catch it in your mouth first)and try and put a price on this snake.Go ahead I dare you.
Last, but not least,and I say this sincerely as a 20 year weekend musician who has played every Beatles song to people,even if they would yell,"Holy Moly,no more Beatles...Freebird",this might be my favorite of the bunch.Take baby D,into a dark room and shine a black light on it and get out a magnifying glass(not during the day in Nevada,cause you will fry the dude),and honestly I could almost swear that I
think I could possibly see some kind of a mark that might be a ring if it was round.Swear to you.It plays the drums and sings poorly,and I swear it is a RingoBall.What are those suckers going for? Market value? Triple easy!
Anyway,I know this is not the classifieds,but if you know anyone who would pay off my mortgage and Master card debt,I will sell these to them.If they are not sold by noon(any day will do),
I will be forced to hold on to them and pout.